My Husband Didn’t Settle For A Fat Wife

my husband didn't settle for a fat wife

Beauty comes in many shapes and being a plus-size is beautiful. 

While losing weight and keeping it off is difficult, it is neither impossible nor unreasonable. But what is unreasonable is the constant stigmatization around being fat and its acceptance among small group of people. Keeping fit is definitely a healthy goal but it never gives anyone the license to be judgemental about plus-size people.

Most humans are taught from a very young age that in order to be worthy of a fairy-tale ending, we must remain as thin as possible. The social image of a beautiful, alluring woman is always depicted in images of skinny women, in half clad clothes. Beauty has a new name – size zero.

It’s likely why we don’t see plus size women with thin men in our media streams, because thin, conventionally attractive dudes should only be paired with thin, conventionally attractive ladies. This concept is also prevalent in cartoons as we never see a plus size animation princess riding away with prince charming. There are no Rebel Wilson’s starring in films alongside Brad Pitt as the love interest. Fat bodies go with fat bodies; thin bodies go with thin bodies. And that is all.

Related: 5 Reasons Why Your Husband Won’t Divorce You, Even If You Are Both Miserable

Most of us can agree that first world cultures tend to perceive plus size people as second class citizens who should hate their bodies.

We’re constantly bombarded with weight loss campaigns, commercials for slimming pills and surgeries, and mocking by fat-phobic groups like Project Harpoon and Thinner Beauty. Sadly, these means that when a lot of plus size individuals are approached by a conventionally “good looking” counterparts— both in real life and on-screen — it can be difficult to believe that the attraction is legitimate. In situations like these, compliments are mostly regarded in very suspicious grounds.

But I know that self-doubt and self-loathing based on other people’s perspective of your body weight is very toxic to a relationship, especially the relationship with our own self. My conventionally hot husband taught me this.

The first few months of dating this handsome man were filled with insecurities and doubt on my part. This guy was gorgeous, and not just by my standards, but by society’s, and I couldn’t help but question his motives. What was he doing asking me out? Was he just experimenting with a big girl? Was this like that movie thing where the hot guy asks out the “pig” as some kind of cruel joke? I wanted to believe that I was “on his level” — that the interest was really there. But doubts implanted into my psyche by our culture would creep in, destroying any confidence I had once felt.

Once we started dating, I never felt worthy of him. I was always so insecure. My body size always gave me feelings of losing his attention to some other ‘conventionally attractive women’. Was he checking out that thin blonde walking by in the sexy heels?

Was I the largest woman he had ever been with?

These stream of negative thoughts were only fueled by the way others viewed us when we were in the public. I could literally feel the disapproval, purely written on their facial expressions and under-breath comments cast in our direction. We were clearly considered an odd couple.

I finally plucked up the courage to confront my husband as I could no longer bear the string of thoughts running in my mind. The combination of rage, surprise, and outrage that came from him was palpable.

It had never even occurred to him that people were judging us, and he was flabbergasted at the thought that I had perceived myself as less than beautiful.

Related: 12 Significant Things Every Man Should Do For His Wife

Being presented so clearly by this man who didn’t see my size as a problem I had to overcome took me aback. Instead he was a person who saw me as a desirable, beautiful, caring, and independent woman. This made me realise that I was far too concerned, unnecessarily about the perception other people had about me (us) instead of my own perception about my body.

While our validation shouldn’t stem from the validation of others, sometimes having someone to shut out the negative self-concept is an absolute eye-opener. You just need a push to recognize just how absurd the negative self-talk is to begin with.

And so, the more I allowed my confidence to grow, the more I discovered that it was the confidence about my own body that made me feel sexy. It isn’t lingerie, jewelry or high heels. It is the secure feeling of being comfortable in one’s skin.

In a society that profits from our self-doubt, choosing to love oneself is an act of rebellion.

When people see my husband and I — he, the “good looking” male and me, the “fat” woman — supporting each other and showcasing our love, it challenges stereotypes.

Sure enough, when you nurture positive thoughts about yourself, your body and your size, the blabbering tongue of the society is put to mute.


You May Also Like:

MY HUSBAND DIDN’T SETTLE FOR A FAT WIFE

— About the Author —

Responses

Leave a Reply



Up Next

Focus Like A Monk: What Is Monk Mode And 10 Ways It Can Help You Succeed In Life 

What is Monk Mode and How Can It Transform Your Life?

Do you find it hard to focus on a task? Do you get easily distracted? Not sure how to enter a flow state and do your best? If you are looking for ways to focus amidst the chaos and find some inner peace, then let me introduce you to the fascinating concept of “Monk Mode.” What is monk mode, you ask?

If you have been on social media lately, you must have heard about monk mode, a concept that has been gaining a lot of attention on TikTok. Based on the mindset and lifestyle of disciplined monks, this process allows us to reach our peak productivity.

So let us delve into the depths of monk mode, explore the myriad monk mode benefits, and provide practical tips on how to get into monk mode to transform your life.

What is M



Up Next

14 Benefits Of Visualization And How To Harness It’s Power

Benefits Of Visualization And How To Harness It's Power

The power of visualization is not something that a lot of people might know about. However, once you know how to harness it’s power, you will see that the benefits of visualization can be endless. Explore the power of creative visualization and it’s benefits.

“The man who has no imagination has no wings.” —Mohammad Ali

You’re probably familiar with the old saying, “Seeing is believing.” Well, it’s this adage’s simple concept that’s at the core of a powerful form of mental exercise called visualization. This practice isn’t just for casual daydreamers, though.



Up Next

How To Be Less Nervous And More Confident? 15 Sentences To Change Your Mindset

How To Be Less Nervous And More Confident? Cool Ways

Feeling anxious and wondering how to be less nervous? Well, you’re not alone—everyone gets jittery from time to time.

But here’s the thing: nerves are just a part of being human, and there’s nothing to worry about. In fact, let me share 15 sentences that might just help if you’re thinking about how to make yourself less nervous.

You’re NOT feeling fear – it’s excitement. The tingling sensation that runs down your spine is your body’s way of telling you to get ready for what’s coming next. Instead of being scared, try and think about how thrilling this journey will be.



Up Next

8 Formidable Habits Of Stress-Resistant Minds

Habits Of Stress-Resistant Minds: Great Signs Of Resilience

We all know life can really test us sometimes, and it feels like a never-ending roller-coaster ride that’s all about deadlines, bills, responsibilities and unexpected curveballs. It’s easy to give into the stress of it all and lose our s***, but that doesn’t help, does it? Today we are going to talk about a few habits of stress-resistant minds and how you can be one of them.

Becoming the Zen master of your own mind is sometimes easier said than done, however, having a calm mind is one of the most underrated superpowers there is. People with stress resistant minds know that high levels of anxiety and reactivity will not help them deal with tricky situations.

Trying to build a resilient mindset is one of the best things you can do for yourself and your mental peace. So, are you ready to know the habits of stress-resistant minds? Let’s get started.



Up Next

Mastering The Art Of Influence: How The Power Of Suggestion Can Shape Your Reality

How to use the power of suggestion: Tips

Have you ever experienced a situation where the power of suggestion influenced your thoughts, decisions, or actions? 

Perhaps a friend recommended a book, and you found yourself engrossed in its pages. Or maybe you were persuaded to try a new restaurant and ended up discovering your new favorite cuisine. These instances demonstrate how a simple suggestion can shape our perceptions, beliefs, and behaviors in ways we may not even realize. 

Let’s explore what is the power of suggestion, how it can impact our lives and how to use the power of suggestion. So, fasten your seatbelts as we embark on a journey to uncover the hidden potential within us all.

What is The Power of Suggestion?



Up Next

4 Zodiac Signs With Tunnel Vision: Are You Narrowing Your Focus?

Zodiac Signs With Tunnel Vision (Narrow Focus)

Feeling stuck and can’t seem to change? Here are 4 zodiac signs with tunnel vision. They get so focused on one idea or task that they forget about everything else.

Focusing is like looking through a tube, everything else around us gets blurry. It happens to our eyes and cameras too, this phenomenon is known as “tunnel vision“. Some people do this more than others when it comes to thoughts.

These four signs are like that. They’re so set in their ways that they can’t see other possibilities. So, without ado let’s take a look at the zodiac signs that suffer from tunnel vision and how they can overcome it.



Up Next

Trust And Commitment: Why Every Happy Relationship Needs It

Trust And Commitment In A Relationship: Important Things

A thriving relationship is built on trust and commitment. Let’s delve into the elements that are vital for happiness and security in your love life.

Believe me when I say, a happy relationship is IMPOSSIBLE without trust and commitment. Don’t believe me? Keep reading.

Love is like Legos. In each passing moment, we are either building a wall between ourselves and our lover or a bridge into each other’s hearts.

Each Lego is an interaction between romantic partners. The deciding factor of whether we open or protect our hearts is the quality of trust.

“Without trust, there can be no meaningful connection.” – Brene Brown