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How to Rebuild Your Marriage After Infidelity

Rebuild Marriage After Infidelity

If your spouse has cheated on you, you must be wondering how to forgive them and repair your relationship. Here’s how to save your marriage after infidelity.

Knowing how to save a marriage after infidelity and lies is the key to actually being able to do it!
When we set out to save a marriage, for any reason, we often make the mistake of not defining what our goal is, specifically, and identifying the things that need to be done to get there.

If you truly want to save your marriage after infidelity, focus your goal on that and make sure that the items below are a part of your tool kit.

How to Save Your Marriage After Infidelity and Extramarital Affair

1. Be honest.

It is essential that, if you want to save your marriage after infidelity and lies, you be honest with each other. No marriage can be saved without honesty and honesty is the key to every happy relationship.

What do you need to be honest about? Several things.

How to Save Your Marriage After Infidelity
How To Save Your Marriage After Cheating

The first is for the cheater to be honest about what happened. To own up to the infidelity and take ownership of what they have done by having the affair. Too many people, mostly because they are consumed with guilt, deny that the affair was a big deal, saying that it was just something that happened and that they want to forget about.

As a result, the other person feels cheated. They feel lied to. They feel disrespected. And that doesn’t set the stage for saving a marriage.

Another thing that is essential to be honest about is whether or not you want the marriage to be saved. Unless both people in the relationship want to work through this, there is no reason to even try.

Why? If one person wants to move forward, someone who doesn’t want to will only hold the other person back. If one person doesn’t want to move forward, they should be honest with their spouse and let them go so that they have an opportunity to heal.

So, if you want to save your marriage after infidelity and lies, it is essential to start by being honest with each other. If you don’t, your marriage is definitely doomed.

2. Be patient.

I know that the pain that you are feeling right now is huge. Whether you cheated or are the person cheated on, the revelation that there was cheating is devastating.

And, when we are in pain, we want more than anything for it to be gone, to return to normal again. Because normal might have been painful but less so.

It will take a couple a while to heal their marriage after infidelity. The person who cheated is most likely overwhelmed with guilt, even if they don’t think they are. And the person who was cheated on is probably struggling with anger, hurt, self-doubt and worse. Those emotions aren’t easy to get past.

So be patient. Know that the pain is going to stick around for a while. Figure out ways to manage it and don’t take it out on your partner.

If you take your pain out on your partner by treating them with contempt, you will only set yourself up for more pain and maybe the end of your marriage. There are ways to manage your pain without making things worse.

How to Rebuild Your Marriage After Infidelity
How to Rebuild Your Marriage After Infidelity

I would encourage you to keep yourself busy. There is nothing worse than sitting in your head all day, obsessing about what happened. Even worse is stalking them on social media, trying to learn more about the lover and trying to figure out if your partner is still cheating.

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Mitzi Bockmann

I am a NYC based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate. My writing has been published on The Huffington Post, Prevention, Psych Central, Pop Sugar, MSN and The Good Man Project, among others. I work with all kinds of people to help them go from depressed and overwhelmed to confident and happy in their relationships and in their world.View Author posts