Having a relationship come to an end is never easy, but, relationships do crash and it can be the most painful and messy experience for some people. But, even after a difficult separation, it’s possible to walk through the road to recovery. But, how to be happy after a breakup? Here are 5 things to do to rebuild your life and open the door for a brighter future.
If you are reading this article I am guessing that you are trying to figure out how to be happy again after a breakup. I get it! I have totally been there.
I am not sure there is any pain more intense than the pain we feel after a breakup! I remember my first broken heart. With Bobby Fortunato in the 8th grade. I was devastated. I remember my mom let me stay home from school and she gave me Jello!
So, here you are, in the middle of the storm, struggling to stay afloat and wondering how you will ever be happy again! You can be! I promise!
How To Be Happy After A Breakup
Here are 5 things to do to be happy again after a breakup.
1. Block them everywhere.
Blocking an ex is the number one thing that I recommend that people do to be happy again after a breakup. And it’s the number one thing that people don’t do and it holds them back.
So, why is it so important to block someone after a breakup and why is it so hard to do it?
The reason why it’s important to block your ex is that it’s essential that you go ‘no contact.’ That means no seeing each other, talking to each other, texting each other, or liking each other’s posts on Instagram. Why is that important? Because any contact, any, will take you back to square one – the moment of your break up – when the pain was most intense.
Back in the day, when we broke up with someone, we broke up with them. With a little bit of effort, we could avoid them, and then we could move on. Now, we can access any information about our ex that we want, at any time. And when we do, it sets us back.
I have a client whose man had broken her heart and, six months in, she was starting to feel better. She was even opening herself up to the idea of dating again. And what happened? Late one night, her ex drunkenly texted her. She was so excited because she thought that he wanted her back.
So, she responded and they texted throughout the night. The next morning, there was radio silence. He had sobered up and moved on. And what happened to her? She was devastated, again, and back to square one!
So, why is it so hard to block someone after a breakup? I believe that it’s mostly about hope. Hope that someday their person will come back to them and they want to make sure that they are there in case that happens. People also want to keep tabs on their person, to see how quickly they move on. Sometimes they just can’t, or don’t want to, break the habit. But mostly, I believe, it’s because they are holding out hope for the future.
And now that I have explained to you what my client’s reunion with her ex did to her hopefully you will see that you don’t want to be there for your ex in the future – you want to have moved on. So, if you want to be happy after a breakup, block your ex. I promise you it will be helpful in a big way.
2. Rearrange your space.
Be honest. How many times in the past few days have you looked at the chair that they sat in at breakfast or their side of the couch or the pillows that they slept on and then burst into tears. The memories of your ex’s time in your home are visceral and probably holding you back from healing.
So, what can you do about that? You can change your space! Shake things up so that your ex’s energy will be banished forever and you have space to make new memories. What do I mean by changing your space? You can go big or little. Whatever feels good to you.
My sister, when she got divorced, switched her bedroom to another room in the house. A client of mine painted all the walls. I bought flannel sheets because my ex hated them. A friend moved the breakfast table to the other side of the kitchen. Definitely remove any and all things that they might have left behind, including pictures!
Imagine how it would feel to come down the stairs in the morning and not see your ex’s chair sitting there, empty. Imagine if your bed, because of your new sheets, no longer resembles the one you shared with your ex. If your space was truly your space again.
Even if your space is small there is still an opportunity to make a change right now. Take a look around. What would feel really good to change right now? Stand up and do it or make a plan to do it this weekend! You will be glad you did!
3. Change your routines.
Much like changing your space, changing your routines are an essential part of being happy again after a breakup.
We are all creatures of habit and we tend to do the same things day in, day out. I know for my partner and me, when we get home from work go for a walk, have a drink on the couch, make dinner, watch some TV and go to bed. We do it almost every day and we love it. It is very comforting.
I know that, if we broke up, I would be devastated. And I would, most likely, carry on doing the things that we had always done together. And that would only make me lonely.
Take a look at your routines. What kind of habits did you and your ex develop over the course of your relationship? Did you go to the same coffee shop every Saturday? Go to a different one. Did you have pizza for dinner every Wednesday? Have burritos instead. Did you each have your own side of the bed? Switch your place to another side.