The Con Man’s Handbook: You Know He Is A Con Man If You Notice These Things

Beware The Charmer: You Know He Is A Con Man If...

What happens when you know he is a con man? The man you love, and trust, he is nothing but a sociopath? 

Con men are not normal people. They’re sociopaths.

You feel like you met your soulmate!
The love is deep and fast and amazing.
He wants things to get serious.
Now. Right away.
He texts, calls, wants to see you everyday.

Chances are – you just met a con man.
A sociopath. A parasite. A destroyer.
If you can check off 3 items: R.U.N.

Sociopaths make us feel we’ve just met the best guy ever.

It might take a few weeks, or months – sometimes years before we put together that the bad stuff is truly bad… and that if we could pull one thread of the strange things that are going on a whole world of lies fall into place – it takes as long as it takes until we see them for what they are.

Related: Because I Can’t Make You Love Me If You Don’t

You Know He Is a Con Man If…

He is sweet as pie. Sweeter as pie-er than anyone we’ve ever met.
He’s always calling and sending text messages with kisses and things.
He’s like crazy in love with you – and we only just met!
He buys you nice dinners or takes you places without asking.
This is amazing.
He gets you little gifts.
His last relationship was with a really bad woman who did him wrong.

The things you will do together…!!
It’s been a week and he already stays at your place a lot.
He talks about living together – or the Big M word!
Everything seems perfect and exciting. He talks about the work you guys could do together.

Con men want us to think they’re so busy and so important.

He asks to borrow money.
He pays you right back.
Your life now with him is exponentially more full of possibility.
He was abused as a kid, he still hurts from it.
Your prince has arrived – and it’s better than you dreamed.
He’s SINGLE – why hasn’t anyone snapped him up!?!?!
Pfffhtt… How could a guy like this be into little old meeeee…?
This is awesome.
You have his cell number, but he called from another number.

You know he is a con man when you notice these things
You know he is a con man

Users Tell Stories, Were Cheated, and Need Us

He seems to have a lot of money.
He has new things or clothes often, out of the blue.
He’s from another country. He really loves the country you live in.
He says he’s on a visitor VISA.
He says he’s in your country for work.
He does some really cool job.
You’re not sure what the job is.

But – he’s really good at it, and envied for it.
It’s such a cool and demanding job sometimes he doesn’t call for a few days.
Some guy cheated him out of money in a deal.
Sometimes he’s on his cell – texting and talking business – maybe a lot.
He’s important.
He knows tons of stuff – he’s really smart.
He’s done more than most people do in ten lifetimes.

Then it Will go Somethin’ Like This – You Know He Is a Con Man If…

He is really busy and gone on a business trip for a week.
You now live together.
He brought just a couple suitcases.
You’re not super sure where he lived before.
So maybe he hasn’t moved in… it’s not important to know where he lives.
He comes over anytime he wants.
He has a key.
We don’t really know where they went or where they are sometimes.
He’s a night owl so sometimes he’s out until 4:00am.
He took our debit card to a business lunch because he left his wallet somewhere.
We laugh so much when we’re with him!
Sex is crazy good, as it is in sociopaths’ sex lives.

He says he can’t live without us… or we feel like we can’t live without him.

Related: An Open Letter To The Guy Who Made A Fool Of Me

You Know He Is A Con Man If…

He tells us he was married once, but her parents hated him, or she slept with his friend, or her parents were jealous, and the mailman… sociopaths talk – a lot.
We went for it and got MARRIED….!!
It’s been a while since we had sex.
He’s not answering our calls or texts sometimes.
He borrowed money again.
Things are confusing sometimes.

We’re feeling a little sick and nervous.
He still hasn’t paid us back.
We loaned him our car.
We can’t live without him.
He comes home later and later.
She stays gone all night.
He wants us to have his baby, really, really badly.
He’s going out of town again – for a friend’s wedding – just the guys.
We gave him our pin number.
He has our credit card.

Don’t forget: all this applies to female sociopaths as well.

A Con Man Wants Whatever They Can Get

We apply to sponsor him for a green card.
We had an amazing dinner out for his birthday.
He had a “business meeting” on your birthday.
He takes his cell everywhere – even to the bathroom.
He sleeps with his cell phone.
We’re not feeling so happy all the time.
He blanks out his laptop monitor when we come near – or changes the window.
He’s really energetic and well sometimes he’s down and sleeps a lot – like all day.

She or he called us greedy, evil, selfish or other harsh and unexpected things.
He doesn’t apologize.
He tells us we’re the greatest thing that ever happened to him.
Even though he – or she – said we’re an idiot.
Someone cheated him again.
It feels like we’re walking on eggshells with him.
He has a lot on his mind.
We don’t want to say anything about the weird text we accidentally saw in his phone.
We offer money to help out.
He has blocked us from his Facebook.

I hope by now you can get away.
Now you know he is a con man.
But – it might take a Big Event to jar reality into view.

You know he is a con man when he is a sociopath in disguise
You know he is a con man when he is a sociopath in disguise

You Know He Is a Con Man If…

He has a wife.
She has his child and another guys.
They are waiting for him to come back home from his business trip.
A fiance – or two – waits for him.
There is a bank account we didn’t know about.
The college he said he went to has never heard of him.
That guy he says cheated him…? – It was the other way around.
He still lives with another woman or man.
The house he said he’s buying – forget about it.

They have stolen money or belongings from us.
He has “borrowed” or transferred our property or embezzled our assets.
There are arrest warrants for him in other states or other countries.
Look closely – all positive information about him on the internet – he posted.
His LLC company registered in Texas – or wherever? – Doesn’t really exist.
Every “business meeting” was a date with one girlfriend or another.
The projects listed on his resume are not even close to half-truths.
He has 3, or 5, or 7 abandoned children from different women scattered here & there.
He uses an alteration of his birth name.

Now that he’s a known a con man – R.U.N. Make an escape plan.
Now he knows, we know, he is a con man.
Be ready to make sure we’re safe.

Related: You Will Learn To Appreciate Her, Only After She’s Gone

Now That We Know He Is a Con Man – He Will Do Some of These…

Call us names.
Say everything is our fault.
Threatens us.
Tries to sue us.
Publishes mean, untrue and just plain nuts things about us online.
Steals more from behind our backs or openly take it.
Cares absolutely nothing for us.
She tires to get you to hit her.
Have not one shred of empathy or concern for us or the predicament he’s put us in.
Want more harm to come to us.
Cause more harm.
Become violent.
Take our child or children.
Abandon our children.
Post pictures of our children for years to come on Facebook as his beloved children.
Harass us if we keep up contact with them.

It’s time for No Contact.

It’s nothing to take personally. – Easier said than done, but doable! We could not have done anything differently. He’s a sociopath; he can only function as a sociopath. He never was the guy we thought he was. He did all this on purpose. –  Like reptiles can’t help eating their young? – It is who they are. They do it to everyone they meet taking it to some level or another. They have a different brain.

We gotta get him out or take off ourselves to a new safe place.

Here’s to REAL True Love and Happiness!

Time to thrive!

Join the confidential true love scam email list.


Originally appeared on True Love Scam Recovery
Published with permission
You Know He Is A Con Man If…
You Know He Is A Con Man If…
he is a con man

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