Reclaiming Your Power: 3 Steps For Healing From A Relationship With A Narcissist

 / 

,
3 Steps For Healing From A Relationship With A Narcissist

Healing from narcissistic abuse and healing from a narcissistic relationship is sometimes easier said than done, but most definitely necessary. Recovering from a narcissist relationship and healing from a narcissist’s abuse is one step further to living the life you deserve. 

Have you ever fallen head over heels for a person and realized only when it was too late that you are in a relationship with a narcissist? And now you are on the journey towards healing from an abusive relationship. 

Many of us have been there.

You met the person of your dreams – charming, intelligent, romantic, attentive, incredible chemistry, and a great lover.

You might have been told how wonderful you are, how this was the first time your lover had ever felt this way, and had this level of connection, and you felt truly seen for the first time.

Perhaps there was a nagging unease that all this was happening too fast – that he or she couldn’t possibly feel this way about you without knowing you better. But you were swept off your feet and finally decided to open your heart.

The confusion may have started then, as your lover pulled away and become critical. Or, it might have started after you married, and you found yourself with a partner totally different than the person you fell in love with.

Whether your relationship was two months or two years or two decades, it was likely tumultuous, confusing, and painful. And if you were married and then divorced, it might have been more painful or even frightening.

There is much healing for you to do if you were in love with a narcissist.

Related: Why It’s So Hard To Forgive Yourself And Trust Again After A Toxic Relationship

3 Steps For Healing From A Relationship With A Narcissist

1) First you need to be very compassionate with yourself and let yourself grieve for the huge loss of what you had hoped for.

It might seem easier to judge yourself for the big mistakes you believe you made, but self-judgment will keep you stuck. There is no possibility of healing when you judge yourself.

Each time the grief comes up, embrace it with kindness and caring toward yourself. Even though you know it’s better to have ended this relationship, it’s hard to let go of the intensity of a relationship with a narcissist.

It’s hard to imagine a future relationship that isn’t boring compared to the intensity you’ve been experiencing.

Compassion is the key to healing from an abusive relationship.

Healing from a relationship with a narcissist

2) Once some of the grief has subsided, then it’s time to go inward and explore why you were vulnerable to this person.

Was your partner giving you what you were not giving to yourself? Was your partner seeing you and valuing you in the way you need to be seeing and valuing yourself? Did you ignore some red flags because you so wanted it all to be true?

Did you make excuses for your partner to avoid facing the truth? Did you give yourself up to try to have control over getting your partner to be loving to you again?

What did you sacrifice to keep the relationship – your integrity, your financial security, your time with family and/or friends, your time for yourself, your inner knowing?

It’s vitally important to be honest with yourself so that you don’t end up feeling like a victim, and so that you have less of a chance of repeating this in a future relationship.

During this time of self-reflection, it’s very important to get support. You might want to join a 12-Step CODA group, go into therapy/facilitation, and/or join a support group. It will help in quick healing from an abusive relationship with a narcissist.

3) Educate yourself about narcissism.

There are numerous books, websites, and articles devoted to understanding narcissism. Since I’m certain that you don’t want to repeat this, you need to do all you can to learn about what happened.

You need to become sensitive to the numerous red flags so that you can pick them up very early in a subsequent relationship.

One of my clients shared that she had met a man six years ago, dated him a few times, and then they remained distant friends. Recently, when she was in his town, they saw each other and she was very attracted to him.

He came on strong, inviting her to join him on an upcoming European vacation. She felt uneasy, but a day later texted him to see if he wanted to have dinner with her.

Related: To Every Girl Who Has Ever Lost Herself To A Toxic Man

He never responded to the invitation. It took her only 24 hours to recognize these two red flags of narcissism – coming on strong and then disappearing.

She was pleased that she found this out so soon! Instead of beating herself up for being attracted to another narcissist, she congratulated herself for staying open to the truth.

Since narcissists are often very attractive, any of us can become attracted. But whether or not we will pursue it depends on how much Inner Bonding work we have done.

love to everyone

For information or to schedule a phone or Skype session: 310-459-1700 • 888-646-6372 (888-6INNERBOND) http://www.innerbonding.com


Written by Margaret Paul, PhD
Healing From A Relationship With A Narcissist
Healing From A Relationship With A Narcissist
Healing From Relationship With A Narcissist pin
3 Steps For Healing From A Relationship With A Narcissist
healing from a relationship with a narcissist

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

What Netflix’s ‘Baby Reindeer’ Teaches About Dealing With Online Stalkers

Dealing With Online Stalkers? Important Baby Reindeer Lessons

“Baby Reindeer”, the British miniseries, hit on Netflix, highlights the horrifying truth of having an online stalker. Ever faced anything similar? If yes, read on to know more!

Baby Reindeer Netflix show is based on Richard Gadd’s autobiographical one-person play and tells the story of Donny, an unsuccessful comedian who becomes the target of Martha, a woman he meets at a local bar.

More or less 7.5 million individuals are cyberstalked each year based on the latest figures. This is also known as tech stalking, and about 80% all stalking victims experienced it while 67% were subject to traditional forms of stalking too.



Up Next

Emotional Monitoring: Is It Sabotaging Your Relationship? 5 Ways To Fix It

What Is Emotional Monitoring: Best Ways To Fix It

Are you frequently asking, “Are you okay?” or “Are you mad at me?” If you find yourself either asking these questions or receiving them, then you may be stuck in a behavior pattern called emotional monitoring.

Emotional monitoring is where one continually scans other people’s emotions in order to regulate their own responses which can lead to emotional burnout and problems with communication.

But it is possible to break this cycle; it starts with knowing what signs look like and deliberately changing our ways when we see them.

What Is Emotional Monitoring In A Relationship?



Up Next

What Are Yellow Flags In A Relationship? Is Your Relationship Sending Warning Signals?

Identifying Yellow Flags In A Relationship and How To Deal

Have you ever felt a tinge of uncertainty in your romantic relationship? A flickering doubt, a slight unease? Relationships are complex, and it’s normal for them to have ups and downs. However, it’s crucial to pay attention to the subtle yellow flags in a relationship that may indicate potential issues down the road. 

These early warning signs can offer insights into the health and sustainability of a relationship. Let us explore what does a yellow flag mean, how to identify them, and most importantly, how to deal with yellow flags to foster a stronger and healthier connection.

What Does a Yellow Flag Mean in a Relationship?

A yellow flag in a relationship is a cautionary sign that som



Up Next

Brain Fog After Narcissistic Abuse? 8 Ways Narcissists Can Muddle Your Brain

Brain Fog After Narcissistic Abuse? Reasons Why It Happens

Have you ever heard of the term “brain fog”? Brain fog is like a maddening haze that seems to muddle your thoughts, makes you forget what you were saying, and has you searching for your clothes in the trash bin? Well, today we are going to talk about a specific sort of brain fog – brain fog after narcissistic abuse.

Imagine that you have just escaped from a toxic and abusive relationship with a narcissist. You are slowly picking up the pieces and trying to get your life back in order, but somehow you feel like your head is not in the right place. Everything still feels very odd and you still feel very lost.

Even though you are free from the clutches of your narcissistic ex, this bizarre mental fog just won’t lift. Let’s explore how narcissists cause brain fog, and the link between brain fog and narcissistic abuse.



Up Next

What Is A High Functioning Sociopath And How To Identify Them

What Is A High Functioning Sociopath? Common Traits

Have you ever come across the term “high functioning sociopath”? But what is a high functioning sociopath? Do they suffer from some mental disorder? Can they pose a threat? Should you be wary of them? Let’s find out.

The mysterious allure of sociopaths has captured the attention of popular culture, with characters like Sherlock Holmes and Hannibal Lecter captivating our imagination. However, in reality, encountering a high functioning sociopath can be a complex and challenging experience. 

Today, we will delve into the depths of this enigmatic personality type, exploring high functioning sociopath traits, and how to navigate relationships with them.

What is a High Functioning Sociopath?



Up Next

Strange ‘Love Brain Syndrome’ Identified: 5 Signs You Might Be At Risk For It

Warning Love Brain Syndrome Symptoms: Are You At Risk?

Unbelievable and bizarre news! Identify “love brain syndrome” after a Chinese girl calls her boyfriend 100 times a day. Let us examine this psychological term and whether you have it or not.

An 18-year-old woman from China named Xiaoyu was diagnosed with “love brain” after she showed signs of extreme possessiveness toward her boyfriend. She would call him more than a hundred times per day and get upset when he failed to answer.

A video of her went viral, showing her messaging him over and over again — and having a breakdown when he didn’t respond. She wound up in the hospital. “Love brain disorder” is associate



Up Next

How to Recognize and Counter Emotional Blackmail: 8 Techniques and 7 Signs

What Is Emotional Blackmail? Telltale Signs Revealed

Picture this: You’re sitting across from a friend, engrossed in conversation, when suddenly you feel the atmosphere change. Their tone becomes harsh, their eyes seem accusatory, and it feels like you’re trapped in an emotional minefield. Now, that’s what is emotional blackmail.

We’ve all experienced it at some point in our lives, whether it’s a toxic relationship, a manipulative friend, or even within our own families. But what is emotional blackmail exactly, and how to deal with emotional blackmail?

In this article, we are going to take a look into the world of emotional blackmail and try to understand each and every nuance. We will talk about the signs of emotional blackmail, the types of emotional blackmail and how to deal with emotional blackmail.

So, are you ready to do this?