Increase the chances of your relationship working out for the second time
You want to know how to get your ex back after a breakup you didn’t want and it’s not easy, but with time and patience, it’s possible.
It’s happened to all of us. After a traumatic fight with your partner, your mind keeps racing trying to figure out the best way to get back with your now ex-partner.
The whole night was a mistake. You’re hurt, emotionally drained, and most of all, confused. And unfortunately, during this state of confusion, you’re bound to make a lot of mistakes that will hurt your chances of getting back together.
You keep asking yourself, “Does my ex want me back, too?”
You want a foolproof plan! You want a guarantee that things will work out with your ex in the future!
Sorry, sweetheart, there’s no such plan. No dice.
But, if you want to get back with an ex and rekindle your relationship, there are a few things you can do that can increase your chances.
So, if you’re still in love with your ex and want them back long after your breakup, here are 6 things you need to do.
1. Give them the space they asked for
If you’re already in the thick of online research about getting back with an ex, you’ve probably found a thing called “no contact” rule. This one will probably be harder if you were the one broken up with, but it’s so important.
If you can’t respect your ex-partner’s basic wishes of having some space, you’re not off to a good start in making them want to date you again.
It’s simple and very effective: stop all the communication with your ex for 30 days. This includes:
- No calling or texting
- No online contact of any kind (Facebook Messaging, IM, Twitter, Whatsapp, Snapchat)
- No creeping on their FB wall or stalking them via friends’ FB profiles.
- No “accidentally” bumping into them or hanging out with friends in hopes of “running into” them (it’s not as clever as you think it is!)
People often have the idea that your ex will “forget you” if you don’t stay in contact. In reality, every time you call, text or contact your ex you send the message you are needy and miserable. This is unattractive and further affirms the decision they made to break up in the first place.
You don’t want that. Return to the strong, independent person you were before for a little bit and see how you feel.
2. Hold your tongue
Well, obviously you’re hurt by all of this and a vent session with your BFF is certainly called for. But instead of becoming vindictive, think of how it would feel if the roles were reversed.
How would you respond if someone you once cared about spoke badly about you to all your friends or revealed secrets you shared?
Next, comes the thought of your ex dating someone else. The idea makes you want to throw up, launch into begging mode while sobbing about how you can’t live without them and if they don’t respond, you might text, IM, and social media stalk them. Wrong answer!
For whatever the reason for the breakup was, it’s not going to change with your begging. The only thing that begging will do is make you look like a weak and insecure person. Back to the misconception covered in the first point: they will not forget about you!
3. Transform yourself and your life
Let’s be brutally honest here — you need space and time to get a hold of yourself and gain some perspective. It’s unrealistic to think you can analyze your relationship right after a breakup — it takes time and space to evaluate whether being with your ex is really in your best interest or if being with them is merely a comfortable habit you have grown accustomed to.