Everyone knows that reverse psychology essentially involves trying to get someone to do something by suggesting they do the opposite.
For example, if I was to ask you to stop reading this article right now and not another sentence …what would you do?
Most likely you would continue to read down to this next paragraph. Yay! So reverse psychology works. And when it comes to making your ex want you back, reverse psychology is a very effective tool.
In my book, “The Lovemap Code: How To Make Someone Fall In Love With You Using Psychology,” I reveal the psychology of how to program someone to fall in love with you. I also show how to implement this process in a situation where you are trying to get an ex back after a breakup. And one of the key ways I show how to do this is with the use of reverse psychology.
Read Attachment Theory Explains Why Your Relationships Fail
In psychology, Reactance Theory states that when a person feels their sense of control is being taken away, the person will immediately try to regain that control by doing the opposite of what they are asked.
The person’s subconscious sees that something important to them (i.e. control) is being taken away, and so it looks for a way to stop this. By doing the exact opposite of what the person is being asked to do, the subconscious reasons that the person can regain control. And so the thing that is important to the person (i.e. control) is maintained.
The interesting thing about this is that when you understand how reverse psychology works in a person mind, you can use it to even get a person to do something: Which they don’t actually want to do and which can even be against their best interest.
If a girl in a gang of girls is told by one of the groups that she’s not brave enough to shoplift, it often happens that the girl will do just that as proof that she had the guts to do it. And this happens even if she had no need to shoplift and was really worried about getting caught. Essentially someone has got them to do something they didn’t want to do. And this is exactly what you are trying to achieve in trying to get your ex back who may currently be showing no signs of wanting to get back with you.
As we can see, reverse psychology is all about control. It’s tied very much to a person’s ego. If you can communicate to a person’s subconscious that their control is being taken away…their subconscious will look for ways to prevent this from happening.
In “The Lovemap Code,” one way I show how to do this in getting an ex back is by communicating to your ex that people who were against the relationship (and ideally people who your ex-doesn’t like—such as frenemies) seemed happy about the breakup.
Now, while reverse psychology can be a very effective tool at making an ex-want you back, reverse psychology also comes with a risk.
Read 3 Reasons Why You Fall For Emotionally Unavailable Partners
Reverse psychology is in effect a form of manipulation. And manipulation (and manipulative people) are not attractive. So you need to be careful.
When using this tactic, you should be trying to communicate the point to the person’s subconscious mind …rather than their conscious mind. If you communicate the point directly to a person’s conscious mind that someone is happy about the breakup, the person’s conscious minds triggers will be set off and they will see that you are just trying to manipulate them. And this will make what you are trying to do completely ineffective. So, how can you communicate the point to the person’s subconscious mind rather than their conscious mind?
Create A Diversion
An effective way to communicate to a person’s subconscious mind rather than their conscious mind is to create a diversion. For example, you might say to your ex that you told someone (a person who you know is your exes frenemy for example) about the breakup and the frenemy smiled about it. You then create a diversion by saying you really don’t like that person now and go into talking about negative qualities that person has.
What has happened here is that by creating a diversion, the main point (i.e. that your exes frenemy smiled when they heard about the breakup) will bypass your exes conscious filters and go straight to their subconscious mind. The subconscious mind will pick up on the point that this frenemy is happy at the expense of the failed relationship …motivating it to look for ways on how to remedy this. This helps create fertile ground to begin the process of getting your ex back and making them fall in love with you which I outline in full in my book.
Read 6 Ways To Increase Emotional Intimacy In Your Significant Relationships.
Of course, you should never lie in anything you say to your ex. But instead, find ways to use the truth to its full advantage in helping you get your ex back and in beginning your relationship together again.
By John Alex Clark – Relationship & Life Coach
For more information on relationship advice, check out John Alex Clarks website “RelationshipPsychology.com”.
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.