The term emotional intelligence is being spoken more than ever now. While some people are really emotionally intelligent, whereas some, not so much. But, what is exactly emotional intelligence, and how does it work?
What Is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is the kind of intelligence and awareness that helps you understand what drives others and their feelings. When you have high emotional intelligence, you are better able to understand how someone else is feeling, and why they feel so; it also helps you not be too judgemental about anyone and anything.
It can also aid you in cooperating with others in a better and more genuine way. The more skill you have when it comes to understanding others’ emotional signals, the better you will be able to frame your own emotional responses to them. This can really help you a lot when it comes to being successful in life.
However, if you are someone who is not that emotionally intelligent, the good news is that it can be made better, and you can improve your level of emotional intelligence.
Four Quadrants Of Emotional Intelligence
In 1995, Daniel Goleman published his book Emotional Intelligence, which stayed on the New York Times Best Seller list for one and a half years! This pointed towards the beginning of a new trend, which is why this idea went on to be widely known throughout the world.
Even though not everyone agrees and endorses Goleman’s model, the general consensus is that emotional intelligence does exist, and it plays a major part in everyone’s lives, at some moment or the other.
Now, Goleman’s model of emotional intelligence consists of five realms, which are then further divided into four quadrants.
The five realms are as follows:
- Recognize your emotions.
- Handle your emotions.
- Motivate and influence yourself.
- Perceive and try to understand other people’s emotions.
- Handle relationships (other people’s emotions).
Now, these five realms are further divided into four quadrants, also known as the Four Quadrants of Emotional Intelligence. They are as follows:
Self-awareness involves these factors:
- Being aware of your emotional state.
- Understanding how other people’s actions impact your emotional state.
- Understanding how your own behavior can affect others.
Self-awareness is all about how well you are able to gauge and understand your own emotions, and also understanding their effect on you. Another important thing about having self-awareness is the ability to know and understand your strengths and weaknesses, and being self-confident.
Knowing, and comprehending your various emotions, and moods, and also trying to understand what drives these moods is what this concept is all about. In order to properly grasp this concept and improve this skill, you need to expand and evolve your emotional states. Once you are able to do this, you will understand just how your emotional intelligence is affecting you as well as others.
Most of the time, your emotional awareness is a result of this following chain:
- Feeling and sensing the emotion.
- Noticing the emotion or feeling.
- Recognizing more facts.
- Accepting the feeling.
- Thinking, or even introspecting about why the feeling has come up in that moment. Try to look around if any other feelings are present apart from that feeling, or if they came before it. Speak to yourself, and try to gauge what it’s motive might be and what it’s trying to show you and tell you.
- Act on your emotions and feelings by doing what is appropriate, if necessary.
- Once the action is done, think about what you did, and what lesson you can take away from it.
Self-management involves these factors:
- Controlling turbulent impulses and emotions, and keeping them in check.
- Your actions reflecting your inherent values.
- Being flexible with change/changes.
- Going after your dreams and goals, despite challenges, setbacks and obstacles.
Self-management can be described as your ability to handle your emotions, feelings, thoughts, and actions, to get the results you are looking for. Self-management tendencies also involve showing the values of integrity, honesty, and dependability, experiencing a sense of achievement, and lastly, keeping your troublesome emotions in control.