These 9 Enneagram Personality Types Can Predict Your Relationship Problems

Learning the 9 Enneagram personality types to find out your and your partner’s  compatibility can help circumvent relationship problems.

It’s normal in a relationship for people to fight or argue from time to time, but it’s also great to know that by using the Enneagram and learning yours and your partner’s personality types that you can avoid conflict and relationship problems in your marriage, too.

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When it comes to having a healthy relationship, it’s important to know where you and your spouse’s personality traits might butt heads. By learning what your Enneagram types are, you’ll be able to better foresee and even stop potential conflicts before they happen!

So what exactly is the Enneagram, and just what can it tell you about your personality?

According to Wikipedia, the Enneagram is “a model of the human psyche which is principally understood and taught as a typology of nine interconnected personality types.”

The Enneagram test on the Enneagram Institute website is a great tool to help you have a healthier relationship with your spouse. Ideally, you both need to use this psychological and spiritual tool individually and together to get the most out of it.

It’s for your personal development and will enhance your ability to deal with all the ups and downs of your married life.

This fantastic tool will point out your blind spots and help you to rid yourself of old habits and thoughts that no longer serve you and provide you with a map to better physical, emotional, and spiritual health.


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The Enneagram types show you where you are likely going to have your challenges when you are under stress. The healthier you are emotionally, physically, and spiritually, the less you will experience these common challenges. But just because you are a specific type doesn’t mean that it’s an exact predictor of the problems you may have. It all depends on the health of your three energy centers (head, heart, and body).

Still, the Enneagram is a great tool to help you to know what to watch out for. Your blind spots can appear without your awareness when you’re not open and present. With both your commitment to becoming your best selves, the Enneagram can help you and your spouse find a more profound love and intimacy than you ever imagined.

If your spouse is not willing to study the Enneagram, you can guess your spouses’ type, but you must hold this information lightly. The only person who can determine your type is you.

If your spouse is open to learning about the Enneagram, this is a good sign that he or she is determined to stay healthy themselves. It is also a sign they are committed to a long term healthy relationship.

All Enneagram types are neither good or bad. They are just different. These are the average qualities of each type, which will help you figure out where you and your partner can get out of balance.

Here are 9 Enneagram types and the potential challenges you and your spouse may face in your relationship based on them:

The assertive types

Assertive types are at high risk to overuse or underuse their head center. They often are sensitive people and to survive they put up a big emotional wall around their heart. Most assertive types are not aware of this happening.

1. Enneagram type 3: (The Achiever)

Threes usually:

  • Can get overly focused on their work.
  • Find self-care a challenge.
  • Can be extremely competitive.
  • Always likes to look good.
  • Are willing to change their behavior so that they can be successful. Their motto is to do whatever it takes to be successful.
  • Can be emotionally detached.
  • Find it crucial to be liked and respected.
  • Flourish when they focus their energy on learning to love themselves and will reveal their vulnerable side.


2. Enneagram type 7: (The Enthusiast)

Sevens always:

  • Look for “greener grass.”
  • Can be excessive at times.
  • Sometimes have a hard time finishing what they started.
  • Are easily bored.
  • Love to have fun.
  • Don’t want to focus on any challenging issues in their lives.
  • Have a hard time committing to anything.
  • Flourish when they risk slowing down and facing the pain, discomfort, and confusion that they try to avoid.


3. Enneagram type 8: (The Challenger)

Eights often:

  • Love to dominate.
  • At times are aggressive.
  • Are confrontational and intimidating.
  • Are overly self-sufficient.
  • Like to stay in control of their own life.
  • Can get intoxicated by power.
  • Are like a bull in a china shop.
  • Flourish when they risk letting go of control, revealing their big hearts and showing their vulnerable side.

Withdrawn types

Withdrawn types tend to over or under-use their body center. It is easy for people who identify with these types to ignore the needs of their body. They struggle to do self-care.


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