Finding lasting love in this modern world is very difficult.
We all want to find lasting love. To have someone who is our best friend, someone we can share our hopes and dreams with, someone who we can build a life with. And, yet, for many women, finding and keeping lasting love can be very difficult.
I have talked to many women in healthy relationships over the years and there are 5 personality traits that most of them share. Let me share them with you.
#1 – They know themselves.
Women who are in healthy relationships know themselves. Truly know themselves.
They know their strengths and their weaknesses. They have dealt with their past. They recognize their limitations and are willing to reach out for help when they know they need it.
Women who find lasting love KNOW what they want. They know what kind of man they want, what kind of traits he will have, what kind of man will bring out the best in them. They set their eye on finding that man and build themselves a clear path to do so.
If you are a woman who doesn’t know who she is, who hasn’t taken a good hard look at who you are in the world and what you want, then you will have a hard time finding and keeping lasting love.
#2 – They don’t take things personally.
I know many women who reflect everything that happens in the world on themselves. Women who do this have a low ego strength. Everything that happens in the world they filter through their perception of themselves.
I have a client who reflects everything that happens back on herself. Her husband didn’t want to help his mother clean out her attic and my client’s reaction was that if her husband didn’t help her with her attic in 10 years when she was retiring, she would be really angry.
Another client was upset because her husband didn’t do what he said he was going to do so that meant that he didn’t love her.
Women who take everything personally don’t have confidence with who they are in the world. They look at life through their own personal lens which doesn’t allow them to let a man in and love them for who they are. They judge their man for their actions. They don’t believe a man can love them for who they are. They are paralyzed by the person they see in the mirror, a person they don’t like very much. And how can you expect a man to like you if you don’t like yourself?
So, don’t take things personally. Understand that your man’s thoughts and deeds are independent of you. Seek to love and like who you are so that the person you are with can love and like you too.
#3 – They are flexible.
Women who find lasting love are flexible. They are willing to roll with whatever comes along and bend themselves to accommodate it.
I have a client who is very black and white in her thinking about the world. If her relationship isn’t going the way she thinks it should then she is immediately stymied. She tries to bend it back to her way of thinking and, more often than not, she gets shut down in the process. If only she was willing to look at all sides of the relationship she might be able to help it evolve into something healthy that works for everyone.
I have another client who, when things don’t go the way that she thinks they will, gets totally overcome and just can’t deal at all. She is paralyzed by the idea that something must go in a different direction and she shuts down. And when she does, her relationship falls apart.