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Love Starved: How Childhood Emotional Neglect Breaks You As An Adult

Childhood Emotional Neglect Breaks Adult

Psychological effects of childhood emotional neglect

So how does childhood emotional neglect affect your psyche? Go ahead and take a look at the most common psychological effects you may develop as an adult, thanks to your parents emotional unavailability – 

That sounds about right. If that doesn’t make you feel better I don’t know what would. Yup, our parents really messed us up. Didn’t they? So now what?

Related: How Toxic Dads Affect Their Daughters into Adulthood
Love Starved: How Childhood Emotional Neglect Breaks You As An Adult
Love Starved: How Childhood Emotional Neglect Breaks You As An Adult

Healing. But it never comes easy

Do I blame my parents for how I turned out as an adult? Weirdly enough, no. We are all human, struggling with our own issues and navigating through all the shit that life throws at us.

Who are we to judge others when we are not perfect ourselves? Yes, parents are supposed to take care of their children, meet their every need, love and care for them, support and validate them and help them become mentally healthy adults. 

Yes, in a fair world. But that’s not the world we live in. 

We live in a world where we don’t talk about mental health. A world where we fail to realize that our parents were also subjected to abuse and childhood emotional neglect when they were children.

Their own childhood trauma had distorted their attachment styles and parenting styles, making them adults with poor parenting skills. Sure, they should have seeked help and gave their children a better childhood than the ones they got.

But the thing about abuse and trauma is that it’s not always easy to seek help. It’s not always easy to overcome it. So instead of blaming our parents for however we have turned out to be, we need to take charge of our own lives and heal ourselves.

That is our first responsibility towards ourselves.

Related: 5 Effects of Growing Up as an Unloved Child and How To Heal

Here’s how to start healing yourself

Self-healing is the best thing you can do for yourself if you have been a victim of childhood emotional neglect. But how to heal from childhood emotional neglect as an adult?

Let’s take a look at a few steps to get you started on your healing journey –

1. Seek therapy

Let’s get real, no one wants to see a therapist. But if you have experienced childhood emotional neglect and abuse then make sure to seek professional help, especially if you are struggling with mental health issues like stress, anxiety, depression, PTSD etc.

Talking to a therapist or a psychologist can help you overcome the trauma and help you identify, acknowledge, express and manage your emotions in a healthy way. Therapy can also help you improve your attachment style, parenting style and build better relationships.

2. Be more self-aware

Learn to be more conscious and aware of your thoughts, emotions and behaviors. Understanding yourself better will empower you to respond to your needs better.

By practicing mindfulness exercises, like meditation, you can connect with yourself and others in a healthy manner. This will also help you identify your subtle feelings more accurately and become aware of triggers to improve emotion regulation.

3. Be your own parent

Reparenting is a form of psychotherapy where a therapist or you yourself assume the role of a new parental figure for your adult self. As a parent to yourself, you give yourself all the things you never received as a child – love, care, support, validation, admiration, appreciation etc.

An advanced form of self-love, reparenting can help you develop healthier attachment styles, overcome insecurities and cope with other psychological effects of abusive parenting. Simply focus on your unmet childhood emotional needs and address your own struggles, fears and limitations.

Related: 7 Steps to Healing Childhood Trauma as an Adult

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Theo Harrison

Hey there! I am just someone trying to find my way through life. I am a reader, writer, traveler, fighter, philosopher, artist and all around nice guy. I am outdoor person but heavily into technology, science, psychology, spiritualism, Buddhism, martial arts and horror films. I believe in positive action more than positive thinking.View Author posts