7 Steps To Healing Childhood Trauma As An Adult

 / 

, ,
Steps Healing Childhood Trauma Adult

Did you suffer from an abusive childhood, and now as an adult, you are still trying to move on but healing childhood trauma is proving to be more difficult than you had thought? Having a traumatic childhood is difficult and extremely painful to overcome, even when you are an adult.

Having an abusive childhood can have a serious impact on a person’s psyche, and can also affect their adult life to a large extent. Contrary to what most people believe, moving on from an abusive childhood is easier said than done.

Having a bad and rough start to your life can not only bring about permanent changes in your psychology, but it can also end up derailing your mental and even physical health for good. 

It is something that I have gone through personally. I grew up in a home where my father was absent almost all the time, and even when he was with us, he never talked to us due to his deeply ingrained PTSD. On top of that, my mother was manic-depressive.

Because of this, my two brothers and I never got to experience a very normal childhood. But, in a way I was luckier than most; at least my parents were somewhat loving, albeit flawed and complicated.

When it comes to childhood trauma, unfortunately, it is way more common than you think. But when it comes to struggles like this, it is imperative that you try not to let this control or rule over your life.

Even though it might seem nearly impossible when you think about healing childhood trauma and using it for a better and brighter future for yourself, there are certain things you can do to achieve this goal.

So, how to heal from childhood trauma? Read on to know more!

Healing childhood trauma
Healing childhood trauma

7 Steps To Healing Childhood Trauma As An Adult

1. Reframe your story. 

Looking back on a miserable or abusive childhood puts you in the position of a helpless victim. It can make you feel unloved and unwanted. This mindset and feeling can trap you in a constant cycle of psychological and mental self-abuse. 

Instead of feeling powerless and incapable, think about all those times you got yourself out of innumerable painful situations when you were a mere child and became the strong person you are today.

The moment you start thinking like this, you stop feeling like a victim, take control of your own power, and recovering from childhood trauma becomes a little easier.

2. Let go of self-blame and shame.

Shame is one of the most toxic feelings you can experience when it comes to having a traumatic childhood. And traumatic childhood experiences are probably one of the toughest to move on from. Sometimes, it’s a permanent thing that you live with, and sometimes it hits you out of nowhere and strikes who you are as a person.

It makes you question your self-worth every step of the way. Bloomfield describes it as the ‘cancer of the spirit’ as it gives you the feeling that you are undeserving of joy or love.

When you try to let go of your self-shame, make sure that you do not shift those feelings into blame. Accept the mistakes of your parents. Blame can poison your mind and make you angry, just like shame destroys and poisons your soul and spirit.

Allowing blame to take over is giving yourself a get out of jail free card because the mistakes you make can be attributed to someone else. Always remember that you are the master of your fate and destiny, and how your life shapes up is completely on you!

Related: 10 Tattoos That Represent Healing From Childhood Trauma

3. Don’t let regret dominate you. 

One of the downsides of letting go of self-blame and self-shame is permitting regret to dominate your mind, body, and spirit. Regret drags us into the vicious cycle of if only and what if, and once you start giving into regret, it can destroy you mentally.

Focus on all the lessons you have learned from your experiences and let them prove to you that, how far you have come. Use your negative and painful experiences for transforming yourself into a better, stronger, and resilient person, and ultimate work towards healing childhood trauma.

When you start doing this, regret will stop being negative, and with time it will even cease to exist.

4. Never bottle up your emotions.

Much of the negative things we think and feel are a result of deep wounds that we have harbored from childhood. Now that you’re older it is time to address those emotions. Whether you do that by talking to a professional therapist, tell your friends, write in a journal, or indulge in your favorite hobby. 

On days when the weight of the past weighs heavily on your shoulders, try shouting as loud as you can in a wide-open space or a room on your own. Visualize the pain as you do it and just allow yourself to feel it before expelling it from your heart and mind.

Katherine Mayfield, an award-winning psychiatrist, and the author believes that any emotional release benefits her and helps her move on from her emotionally abusive childhood.

She says, ‘The more you can release your pent-up feelings, the more of the past you’ll clear away.  Go to a sad movie and cry buckets, or whack a bed with a plastic bat—whatever works for you. Releasing emotions releases energy, which you can then use to create a more authentic life.’

Related: 10 Things People Who Bottle Up Their Emotions Go Through and Understand

5. Respecting yourself is a must.

When you are trying to heal childhood trauma, never tell yourself that you are not worthy of respect. The worst thing about any kind of trauma is that it makes you feel as if you are not good enough, or you don’t deserve respect.

Don’t fall into the trap of accepting that you are worthy of poor treatment. If you find it difficult to get out of such self-critical thoughts, then take a moment to look at other people who have gone through trauma, just like you have. Then question yourself if you believe that they are deserving of respect.

The answer will undoubtedly be yes, so don’t look at yourself as undeserving.

Healing childhood trauma
Healing childhood trauma

6. Cherish the important relationships. 

This might sound a bit cliched or cheesy, but when it comes to overcoming childhood trauma, joy and love are the two best medicines. The more you give love, the more you receive it back. 

If you’ve had a tough time when you are young, it can be difficult to see the truth in the lesson. Despite all the pain and suffering your parents made you go through when you were a child, at some level, you still want their love, support, and approval. This can make accepting, loving relationships difficult, and healing childhood trauma in adults a massive challenge.

Taking care of the close relationships in your life will help you feel that you belong and that no matter what, you are not alone. So, spend ample time with your friends and family and treat your kids with all the love that you hoped for when you were a child.

Related: How To Heal From Childhood Trauma When Its Hampering Your Mental Health

7. Be your own coach and cheerleader.

One of the best lessons you can learn from your childhood trauma is how tough you can be all by yourself. No matter how bad things were, you made it out the other side and now have all the potential in the world to thrive personally, professionally and spiritually.

So, the next time you start to feel all the negative emotions like anger, self-hatred, regret, and shame starting to crop up, remind yourself how strong you actually are. In case you ever feel lonely and unsupported, tell yourself that you are the one who is responsible for all your positive qualities.

The best way to love yourself is by noting down your five best qualities that you admire about yourself, and three of your biggest accomplishments. This will remind you that you are more than your childhood trauma, and there is a lot in you to admire.

Recovering from traumatic childhood experiences takes a lot of emotional and mental strength. However, by accepting the feelings and addressing them, you are taking a step towards personal acceptance, as well as furthering your ability to empathize with others in situations of suffering.

So, don’t be stuck to your painful past; instead, focus on the bright future you have lying ahead of you.

Want to know more about healing from childhood trauma? Check this video out below!

Healing childhood trauma

7 Steps to Healing Childhood Trauma as an Adult
7 Steps to Healing Childhood Trauma In Adults
Steps Healing Childhood Trauma Adult pin
Steps Healing Childhood Trauma As Adult pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Responses

  1. Diane Avatar
    Diane

    Growing from victim to survivor can take many years. Especially if dealing with severe physical, mental and emotional abuse for nearly twenty years. For once you are removed from the abusive home, you have years to now deal with it whether you want to or not.
    The effects will rear their ugly heads sooner or later.
    I’ve ensured horrific abuse my entire childhood. I know monsters are real. I suffered hysterical blindness as well as PTSD and severe debilitating panic attacks.
    With much work we can break the cycle and I was determined to do just that.
    And when your abuser is your own mother and then when facing justice, takes her life, after your father does as well; you can only imagine it takes far more than seven steps to get to the other end of it all.
    Severe abuse will break you several times over.
    Surviving it all with sanity, wisdom, faith and love, to me, is miraculous.

    1. Maude Avatar
      Maude

      Dearest Diane,
      I was curious what other readers had to say. Your comment is right on the mark when it comes to complex PTSD and childhood trauma.

      YOU are a survivor!
      The woman who birthed is just that – the vessel who gave you life.
      I know it sounds profound, and simplified. However, perhaps this point of view may help you as well.
      I am a survivor as well, CPTSD due to childhood trauma(s). Have been in therapy for years, utilize other healing modalities, along with medication which is vital for my brain to survive at this point.
      Yes, surviving with sanity is a miracle, but you know what – we survived, and now it’s our turn to explore the world, here and now.
      You got this, sister!
      Sending you love. So much love and courage to leave the cage for just a little bit each day. It’s OK.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



Up Next

Warning Signs Of Unresolved Trauma: Recognizing The Invisible Scars

7 Warning Signs Of Unresolved Trauma Shouldn't Be Ignored

Are the effects of trauma worse than the trauma itself? The following article will help to identify the signs of unresolved trauma and heal relationships.

In this blog, we will cover:

Unresolved trauma meaning

Unresolved trauma examples

Unresolved childhood trauma

Signs of unresolved childhood trauma in adults

Unresolved trauma and relationships 

Trauma is a deeply distressing experience that can have long-lasting effects



Up Next

The Impact Of Dads On Daughters: 15 Signs Of Daddy Issues

15 Warning Signs Of Daddy Issues In A Woman

Ever heard the term ‘daddy issues’ and wondered what it means? Well, it’s not just a pop culture buzzword. Signs of daddy issues can manifest in a myriad of ways, affecting how we perceive ourselves, our relationships, and the world around us.

From seeking validation to struggling with trust, these signs can impact both men and women and have roots in our deepest emotional experiences.

Understanding the complex dynamics of daddy issues is important, but it is crucial to approach them with sensitivity and without reinforcing stereotypes.

So, let’s dive in and explore the telltale



Up Next

The Haunting Of Our Minds: The 11 Types Of Psychological Ghosts That Live In Your Head

11 Types Of Psychological Ghosts In Your Head That Linger

Have you ever been haunted by the ghosts in your head? By a memory or experience from your past? Something that lingers in your mind long after it’s over, affecting your behavior and emotions in profound ways? Have you ever thought like “There’s a monster in my mind”?

Maybe it’s a regret, a missed opportunity that you wish you could go back and change. Or perhaps it’s a traumatic event that still sends shivers down your spine whenever you think about it.

These are the psychologica



Up Next

8 Types Of Childhood Trauma And How To Defeat And Heal From Them

8 Types Of Childhood Trauma And How To Heal From Them

Childhood is a crucial stage in our development, and the experiences we have during this period shape our personalities and worldviews in many ways.

Unfortunately, some childhoods can be traumatic, leaving deep emotional scars. There are eight types of childhood trauma that can have a profound impact on a child’s development and future life outcomes.

A traumatic childhood can have significant long-term effects on a person’s mental, physical, and emotional well-being, which can last well into adulthood. The childhood wounds suffered by someone can end up defining their entire life, including their choices, relationships, and values.

Before we d



Up Next

Invisible Wounds: 10 Ways Unresolved Attachment Trauma Manifests in Adults

Possible Signs Of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Your childhood trauma wounds can haunt you for the rest of your life. Unresolved attachment trauma in adults is more common than you think, however, knowing the signs of attachment trauma in adults can help you understand yourself more and take the necessary steps to heal.

Key Points

Childhood trauma often refers to traumas experienced in the family of origin during the formative years of our development.

Although many traumas result from abuse or neglect, not all are.

Some childhood traumas, such as emotional neglect, were not done purposefully. Some parents might not even have known.

<



Up Next

Coping with Dysfunction: Understanding the 10 Unspoken Rules of Dysfunctional Families

Hidden Dynamics Unspoken Rules of Dysfunctional Families

Have you ever noticed certain patterns in your family that have made you think, “Maybe my family is dysfunctional”? This post delves deep into the signs your family is dysfunctional and the unspoken rules of dysfunctional families. Let’s find out more about how to tell if your family is dysfunctional or not.

Key Points

All families, as with all social systems, have some level of dysfunction. It does not mean they are all unhealthy or abusive, but some are.

Growing up in unhealthy environments can set children up for unhealthy or unsafe relationships down the line.

Developing and maintaining boundaries can help decrease trauma



Up Next

6 Stages Of Healing For Survivors Of Childhood Family Trauma

Childhood Family Trauma Stages Of Healing For Survivors

Experiencing childhood family trauma is without a doubt, one of the most painful things a human being can go through. However, overcoming family trauma and healing from family trauma is also possible.

KEY POINTS

Due to their history of normalizing unhealthy behaviors, trauma survivors often do not realize their families were dysfunctional.

Unmet needs in childhood may manifest in adulthood as shame, causing many survivors to blame themselves for their trauma history.

If we do not do the work of growth, these behavior patterns can continue long into adulthood. But healing is possible.

AI Chatbot Avatar
⚠️ Liza is in training with WMHA and may not always provide the most accurate information.