One of the reasons that you can be happy when you are single is that you aren’t subjected to those little daily pains, the ones that make you feel so bad about yourself and so bad about your relationship.
When I was alone, I remember distinctly how much better I felt at the end of the day because no one had caused me pain that day. My dog was curled up next to me, and he only loved me. I felt pretty good about myself, I have to say.
4. Love is all around you.
This last thing is something that seems so obvious but often isn’t when we are feeling sorry for ourselves for being alone.
When you aren’t in a relationship one thing that you notice is that love is accessible anywhere. While romantic love is lovely, you can find love in both usual and unusual places.
First and foremost, you have steadfast and strong love from your friends and family. You know that they will be there for you through thick and thin and that you will always have someone to cry with, or go to the movies with, or spend the holidays with. No matter what.
There are also other ways to find love. A big source of love is volunteering. There is nothing better than working with people or animals who need love and support, for bringing more love into your life. When I was first single, I volunteered at a food shelter once a week and when I went home I felt like a million bucks.
Another way to get unconditional love is with a pet. It might sound like a cliché but it’s true. How many single women do you know who have a pet? They might call us crazy cat ladies but the joke is on them because we are happy crazy cat ladies!
So, know that, if you are single, you can get love in all sorts of places and, yes, you can be happy being alone.
5. You can be exactly who you want to be.
The most amazing part of being alone is that you are totally free to be who you want to be.
Of course, being in a partnership can be wonderful but, whether you are happy or not, because you are part of a twosome you are sometimes limited in your choices of who you can be in the world.
After my husband and I got divorced I decided that I was sick of living in the country. I sold my 3000 square foot house in Vermont and moved to a 200 square foot apartment in NYC. I started a life coach business, became a mental health advocate and I no longer had to shovel snow because my doormen did it!
If you are alone, the sky is the limit for who you want to be in the world. That is definitely worth a lot!
As you can see, being happy when you are single isn’t all that hard and is right within reach.
I know that in this modern world, being a part of a pair seems imperative but more and more people are realizing that it’s not. Being alone gives you options, you can be selfish, and giving, and your daily life can be happier, and you can be truly who you want to be.
I have a client who was a housewife and a mother before she got divorced and now she is an accountant and a stock trader. She owns her own house, has two amazing girls (and three grandchildren) and she is happy as a clam. She occasionally dates but then realizes that, for her, it doesn’t make her feel good so she stops and goes back to her very happy life!
You can be happy being single too. Truly.