Thich Nhat Hanh on The Art Of Letting Go

Thich Nhat Hanh, the Zen Buddhist master, has some interesting advice about what it means to truly let go. Many people mistake detachment or non-clinging to be a form of aloofness or emotional disconnect from others, but as Hanh explains, letting go often means loving someone more than you have ever loved them before. So we should master the art of letting go.




The Buddha taught that detachment, one of the disciplines on the Noble Path, also called ariyasaavaka, is not a physical act of withdrawal or even a form of austerity.

Though the Buddha teaches of a “non-action which is an integral part of the Right Way,” if it is taken out of context it can give the impression that we should develop a lack of concern for others, and that we should live without genuinely feeling or expressing our emotions – cutting ourselves off from life.



These types of misinterpretations are sadly common since there are not always direct translations from the Pali language into English.

This form of “detachment” is an erroneous understanding of the Buddha’s message. Master Hanh states that to let go truly, we must learn to love more completely.

Non-attachment only happens when our love for another extends beyond our own personal expectations of gain, or our anticipation of a specific, desired outcome.




Related: To Love Without Knowing How To Love, Wounds The Person We Love

Hanh describes four forms of complete detachment, which surprisingly, aren’t about holding yourself up in a cave and ignoring everyone who has broken your heart or ignoring your lust or desire for a romantic interest. This is not detachment. Art of letting go – means diving in. For example:

Maitri (Not the Love You Know)

Hanh describes the importance of Maitri, not love as we normally understand in a Westernized use of the word. He states,

The first aspect of true love is maitri (Metta, in Pali), the intention and capacity to offer joy and happiness. To develop that capacity, we have to practice looking and listening deeply so that we know what to do and what not to do to make others happy. If you offer your beloved something she does not need, that is not maitri. You have to see her real situation or what you offer might bring her unhappiness.

In other words, your detachment may come in accepting that certain things you would normally do to make another person feel loved and appreciated may not be what the person you are actively loving now, needs. Instead of forcing that behaviour on another person, with an egoic intent to “please” them, you simply detach from that need in yourself and truly observe what makes another person feel comfortable, safe, and happy.

Related: 6 Things That Happen When You Have To Let Go Of Your Soulmate




Hanh further explains,

“We have to use language more carefully. “Love” is a beautiful word; we have to restore its meaning. The word “maitri” has roots in the word Mitra which means friend. In Buddhism, the primary meaning of love is friendship.”

Karuna (Compassion)

The next form of true detachment is compassion. When we let go, we don’t stop offering a compassionate touch, word, or need to help someone who is in pain. We also don’t expect to take their hurt or pain away. Compassion contains deep concern, though. It is not aloofness It is not isolation from others.

Related: Love Sometimes Requires Letting Go

The Buddha smiles because he understands why pain and suffering exist and because he also knows how to transform it. You become more deeply involved in life when you become detached from the outcome, but this does not mean you don’t participate fully – even in others’ pain.

Gratitude and Joy

In truly letting go you practice gratitude. Mudita or joy arises when we are overcome with gratitude for all that we have, such that we no longer cling to some other longed-for result. Buddha’s definition of joy is more like “Unselfish joy.” It means that we don’t only find happiness when something good happens to us, but when others find happiness.

If you’ve ever had to say goodbye to love or friend so that they could continue on their life’s path – one that may not have continued to intertwine with your own – you may have felt pain when they found someone new to love or made a new friend that seemed to take your place. This is not true detachment. Joy arises when you find happiness even when others find joy – and it has little or nothing to do with you.




Related: 10 Signs it’s Time to Let Go

Upeksha (Equanimity)

Master Hanh describes the final quality of true love which sheds inordinate light on the true art of letting go.

He states,

“The fourth element of true love is upeksha, which means equanimity, non-attachment, nondiscrimination, even-mindedness, or letting go. Upa means “over,” and iksha means “to look.” You climb the mountain to be able to look over the whole situation, not bound by one side or the other. If your love has attachment, discrimination, prejudice, or clinging in it, it is not true love.

People who do not understand Buddhism sometimes think upeksha means indifference, but true equanimity is neither cold nor indifferent. If you have more than one child, they are all your children. Upeksha does not mean that you don’t love. You love in a way that all your children receive your love, without discrimination.”




Hanh explains that without this quality our love tends to become possessive – a stomping ground of the ego. We try to put our beloved in our pocket and carry them with us when they are more like the wind, or a butterfly, or a stream, needing to move and flow, or risk dying. This is not loved, this is destruction.

Related: What It Really Means When Someone Says “I love you”: A Zen MASTER Explains

For love to be true love, it must have elements of compassion, joy, and equanimity – and this is truly letting go.

The Art of Letting Go is Artless

The real secret is that letting go is not an art, it is an allowing, a being. A non-attached relationship is healthy, strong and filled with effortless love, kindness, and compassion. It is completely selfless because your sense of ‘self’ is no longer asserted in every situation. If you want to truly let go, you’ve got to love more, not less. This is the most common misunderstanding about this priceless teaching of the Buddha.


This article (A Zen Master Explains the Art of Letting Go, And It Isn’t What You Think) was originally created for The Mind Unleashed. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution and author bio.

art of letting go
Thich Nhat Hanh The Art Of Letting Go Pin
The Art Of Letting Go pin


Published On:

Last updated on:

Christina Sarich

Christina Sarich is a staff writer for Waking Times. She is a writer, musician, yogi, and humanitarian with an expansive repertoire. Her thousands of articles can be found all over the Internet, and her insights also appear in magazines as diverse as Weston A. Price Nexus Atlantis Rising and the Cuyamungue Institute among others. She was recently a featured author in the Journal, Wise Traditions in Food, Farming, and Healing Arts and her commentary on healing, ascension, and human potential inform a large body of the alternative news lexicon. She has been invited to appear on numerous radio shows, including Health Conspiracy Radio, Dr. Gregory Smith’s Show, and dozens more. The second edition of her book, Pharma Sutra, will be released soon.

Disclaimer: The informational content on The Minds Journal have been created and reviewed by qualified mental health professionals. They are intended solely for educational and self-awareness purposes and should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing emotional distress or have concerns about your mental health, please seek help from a licensed mental health professional or healthcare provider.

Leave a Comment

Today's Horoscope

Accurate Daily Horoscope for 12 Zodiac Signs

Daily Horoscope 13 June 2025: Prediction For Each Zodiac Sign

🌟 Ready to unlock the secrets of 13 June, 2025? Discover your personalized horoscope and see what the stars have in store for you today! ✨🔮

Latest Quizzes

Who Is The Real Father? Only 1% Can Spot - Can You? Fun Quiz

Who Is The Real Father? Only 1% Can Spot The Baby’s Biological Dad In 10 Seconds — Are You One Of Them?

Can you really tell just by looking? Well, here’s your chance to find out.

Latest Quotes

Let's Normalize Telling People - Self Worth Quotes

Let’s Normalize Telling People – Self Worth Quotes

You can love them and still choose yourself.

Readers Blog

Caption This Image and Selected Wisepicks – 8 June 2025

Ready to unleash your inner wordsmith? ✨??☺️ Now’s your chance to show off your wit, charm, or sheer genius in just one line! Whether it’s laugh-out-loud funny or surprisingly deep, we want to hear it. Submit your funniest, wittiest, or most thought-provoking caption in the comments. We’ll pick 15+ winners to be featured on our…

Latest Articles

Thich Nhat Hanh, the Zen Buddhist master, has some interesting advice about what it means to truly let go. Many people mistake detachment or non-clinging to be a form of aloofness or emotional disconnect from others, but as Hanh explains, letting go often means loving someone more than you have ever loved them before. So we should master the art of letting go.




The Buddha taught that detachment, one of the disciplines on the Noble Path, also called ariyasaavaka, is not a physical act of withdrawal or even a form of austerity.

Though the Buddha teaches of a “non-action which is an integral part of the Right Way,” if it is taken out of context it can give the impression that we should develop a lack of concern for others, and that we should live without genuinely feeling or expressing our emotions – cutting ourselves off from life.



These types of misinterpretations are sadly common since there are not always direct translations from the Pali language into English.

This form of “detachment” is an erroneous understanding of the Buddha’s message. Master Hanh states that to let go truly, we must learn to love more completely.

Non-attachment only happens when our love for another extends beyond our own personal expectations of gain, or our anticipation of a specific, desired outcome.




Related: To Love Without Knowing How To Love, Wounds The Person We Love

Hanh describes four forms of complete detachment, which surprisingly, aren’t about holding yourself up in a cave and ignoring everyone who has broken your heart or ignoring your lust or desire for a romantic interest. This is not detachment. Art of letting go – means diving in. For example:

Maitri (Not the Love You Know)

Hanh describes the importance of Maitri, not love as we normally understand in a Westernized use of the word. He states,

The first aspect of true love is maitri (Metta, in Pali), the intention and capacity to offer joy and happiness. To develop that capacity, we have to practice looking and listening deeply so that we know what to do and what not to do to make others happy. If you offer your beloved something she does not need, that is not maitri. You have to see her real situation or what you offer might bring her unhappiness.

In other words, your detachment may come in accepting that certain things you would normally do to make another person feel loved and appreciated may not be what the person you are actively loving now, needs. Instead of forcing that behaviour on another person, with an egoic intent to “please” them, you simply detach from that need in yourself and truly observe what makes another person feel comfortable, safe, and happy.

Related: 6 Things That Happen When You Have To Let Go Of Your Soulmate




Hanh further explains,

“We have to use language more carefully. “Love” is a beautiful word; we have to restore its meaning. The word “maitri” has roots in the word Mitra which means friend. In Buddhism, the primary meaning of love is friendship.”

Karuna (Compassion)

The next form of true detachment is compassion. When we let go, we don’t stop offering a compassionate touch, word, or need to help someone who is in pain. We also don’t expect to take their hurt or pain away. Compassion contains deep concern, though. It is not aloofness It is not isolation from others.

Related: Love Sometimes Requires Letting Go

The Buddha smiles because he understands why pain and suffering exist and because he also knows how to transform it. You become more deeply involved in life when you become detached from the outcome, but this does not mean you don’t participate fully – even in others’ pain.

Gratitude and Joy

In truly letting go you practice gratitude. Mudita or joy arises when we are overcome with gratitude for all that we have, such that we no longer cling to some other longed-for result. Buddha’s definition of joy is more like “Unselfish joy.” It means that we don’t only find happiness when something good happens to us, but when others find happiness.

If you’ve ever had to say goodbye to love or friend so that they could continue on their life’s path – one that may not have continued to intertwine with your own – you may have felt pain when they found someone new to love or made a new friend that seemed to take your place. This is not true detachment. Joy arises when you find happiness even when others find joy – and it has little or nothing to do with you.




Related: 10 Signs it’s Time to Let Go

Upeksha (Equanimity)

Master Hanh describes the final quality of true love which sheds inordinate light on the true art of letting go.

He states,

“The fourth element of true love is upeksha, which means equanimity, non-attachment, nondiscrimination, even-mindedness, or letting go. Upa means “over,” and iksha means “to look.” You climb the mountain to be able to look over the whole situation, not bound by one side or the other. If your love has attachment, discrimination, prejudice, or clinging in it, it is not true love.

People who do not understand Buddhism sometimes think upeksha means indifference, but true equanimity is neither cold nor indifferent. If you have more than one child, they are all your children. Upeksha does not mean that you don’t love. You love in a way that all your children receive your love, without discrimination.”




Hanh explains that without this quality our love tends to become possessive – a stomping ground of the ego. We try to put our beloved in our pocket and carry them with us when they are more like the wind, or a butterfly, or a stream, needing to move and flow, or risk dying. This is not loved, this is destruction.

Related: What It Really Means When Someone Says “I love you”: A Zen MASTER Explains

For love to be true love, it must have elements of compassion, joy, and equanimity – and this is truly letting go.

The Art of Letting Go is Artless

The real secret is that letting go is not an art, it is an allowing, a being. A non-attached relationship is healthy, strong and filled with effortless love, kindness, and compassion. It is completely selfless because your sense of ‘self’ is no longer asserted in every situation. If you want to truly let go, you’ve got to love more, not less. This is the most common misunderstanding about this priceless teaching of the Buddha.


This article (A Zen Master Explains the Art of Letting Go, And It Isn’t What You Think) was originally created for The Mind Unleashed. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution and author bio.

art of letting go
Thich Nhat Hanh The Art Of Letting Go Pin
The Art Of Letting Go pin


Published On:

Last updated on:

Christina Sarich

Christina Sarich is a staff writer for Waking Times. She is a writer, musician, yogi, and humanitarian with an expansive repertoire. Her thousands of articles can be found all over the Internet, and her insights also appear in magazines as diverse as Weston A. Price Nexus Atlantis Rising and the Cuyamungue Institute among others. She was recently a featured author in the Journal, Wise Traditions in Food, Farming, and Healing Arts and her commentary on healing, ascension, and human potential inform a large body of the alternative news lexicon. She has been invited to appear on numerous radio shows, including Health Conspiracy Radio, Dr. Gregory Smith’s Show, and dozens more. The second edition of her book, Pharma Sutra, will be released soon.

Leave a Comment

    Leave a Comment