The Art of Mastering Love by Thich Nhat Hanh

 / 

The Art of Mastering Love

To love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love. The art of mastering love is what true love is all about. When you know and understand the art of mastering love, you finally realize what love truly is, and only then will you be able to love someone the right way.

“The roots of a lasting relationship are mindfulness, deep listening, and loving speech, and a strong community to support you.” ― Thich Nhat Hanh, How to Love.

Love is an unsolved mystery. We are all troubled by the question ‘What is love?’

Poets, musicians, writers, philosophers, scientists, and everyone have tried to define love but nobody has been able to define it. Is love a feeling? Or an action? How should it be defined?

Complicated as it sounds to all of us, the Buddhist master, Thich Nhat Hanh has the simplest answer to this eternal question, ‘What is love?’, and the art of mastering love.

According to him, love is a way of being. To him, love is complex but it is the most rewarding of all experiences. At the core of his teachings, lies the basic idea that love’s other name is understanding.

Mastering Love
The Art Of Mastering Love By Thich Nhat Hanh

According to Buddhist philosophy, understanding is the basic necessity of life. Hence, if we are to love another, we need to understand them, their suffering.

However, caught in our daily struggles, it becomes difficult for us to understand one another. Thich Nhat Hanh explains this using a beautiful metaphor:

“If you pour a handful of salt into a cup of water, the water becomes undrinkable. But if you pour the salt into a river, people can continue to draw the water to cook, wash, and drink. The river is immense, and it has the capacity to receive, embrace, and transform. When our hearts are small, our understanding and compassion are limited, and we suffer. We can’t accept or tolerate others and their shortcomings, and we demand that they change. But when our hearts expand, these same things don’t make us suffer anymore. We have a lot of understanding and compassion and can embrace others. We accept others as they are, and then they have a chance to transform.”

Related: The Four Aspects of True Love by Thich Nhat Hahn

Now, that we know what to do, the next question is: How to do it? How can we understand one another?

Thich Nhat Hanh has an answer to this:

“When we feed and support our own happiness, we are nourishing our ability to love. That’s why to love means to learn the art of nourishing our happiness. Understanding someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person. Understanding is love’s other name. If you don’t understand, you can’t love.”

According to Thich Nhat Hanh, one should learn the dynamic interaction of love:

“If our parents didn’t love and understand each other, how are we to know what love looks like? The most precious inheritance that parents can give their children is their own happiness. Our parents may be able to leave us money, houses, and land, but they may not be happy people. If we have happy parents, we have received the richest inheritance of all.”

Related: 100 Best Zen Sayings And Proverbs That Will Make You Feel Peaceful

However, one should also understand the difference between infatuation and love. Thich Nhat Hanh says,

“Often, we get crushes on others not because we truly love and understand them, but to distract ourselves from our suffering. When we learn to love and understand ourselves and have true compassion for ourselves, then we can truly love and understand another person.”

Love is simple. We just need to understand it.


The Art of Mastering Love by Thich Nhat Hanh
Art of Mastering Love by Thich Nhat Hanh Pin
The Art Of Mastering Love By Thich Nhat Hanh
The Art of Mastering Love pin
The Art Of Mastering Love By Thich Nhat Hanh

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

Is Flirting Considered Cheating? Check If You Have Crossed The Lines

signs your flirtatious behavior has ventured into the territory of cheating

When it comes to relationships, the boundaries of acceptable behavior can often be a gray area, especially in interactions with others. One particularly contentious topic is flirting. But is flirting considered cheating in a relationship? The answer is subjective.

For some, playful banter and coy smiles are harmless fun, a way to socialize. For others, those same gestures are a breach of trust, skirting the line of infidelity.



Up Next

15+ Quotes From “Bridgerton” That Depict Obsessive Yearning

Best Bridgerton Quotes About Love And Romance

If you like romances and things from the Regency era, these Bridgerton quotes show how obsession can be a form of longing. This Netflix series features several love stories in which the characters experience intense desire and emotions.

Through eloquent dialogues and passionate interactions, “Bridgerton” powerfully reveals the aspirations that motivate its characters.

The series effectively frames the relationship between Daphne and Simon as an embodiment of smouldering attraction while at the same time conveying other major figures’ secretly yearning for each other.

Here are some Bridgerton quotes about love that perfectly sum up obsessive yearning.<



Up Next

What Is Storge Love And How It Shapes Our Deepest Connections

What Is Storge Love: How It Shapes Our Deepest Connections

Love is the closest thing to magic. While love can often be conditional, unconditional love can make us do the craziest things and also completely transform us for better or worse. However, there is a unique and often overlooked form of affection known as storge love. But what is storge love?

Imagine a love that blossoms within the comforting walls of familiarity, nurturing bonds that withstand the test of time. A love that is born, not from passion or desire, but from a deep sense of connection and shared experiences. This is the essence of storge love that thrives within the realm of family relationships. 

So today, let us understand what is storge love, explore the characteristics of storge love and shed light on the psychological perspectives on storge love.



Up Next

Men’s First Love Theory: 7 Life-long Psychological Impacts Of First Love

Men’s First Love Theory: First Love Psychological Impacts

Can men never get over their first love? Men’s First Love Theory has blown up all over the internet, especially on TikTok. The theory’s first taste of romance sets every partner at an inevitable disadvantage.

When we fall in love for the initial time, this theory claims that it leaves a lasting impact. We tend to think and view our first love as “the one,” causing us to compare every individual we meet after them to our original partner.

The term “first love syndrome” explains how our initial encounters with emotion factor into what we consider to be true love. It’s almost like we’re biologically hardwired to search for that same feeling we had when we fell in love for the very first time.



Up Next

How To Know If Someone Is Thinking Of You? 10 Psychological Signs

How To Know If Someone Is Thinking Of You? Psychic Signs

Have you ever had that weird feeling that someone is thinking about you, even when they’re not with you? It feels like a whisper in the back of your mind, a subtle but undeniable connection that transcends the physical distance between you two. So then how to know if someone is thinking of you, for sure?

The interesting thing is that, in this curious world of human psychology, there can be many fascinating and psychological signs someone is thinking of you; all you have to do is know what they are.

So, are you ready to do a deep dive into the world of mind-reading (well, sort of). Let’s explore 10 psychological signs someone is thinking of you.

Related:



Up Next

Am I In Love Or Just Experiencing Limerence? 5 Signs To Look For

Limerence vs Love? Signs That Differ From True Love

Are you head over heels for somebody or have you plummeted into limerence? Learn the distinction between limerence vs love to make sure that your romantic bond doesn’t turn into a serious addiction.

Limerence is a psychological state that can leave you feeling exhilarated but confused. This state isn’t just another word for love. It has unique properties that differ limerence vs love.

What is limerence vs love?

In simpler words, limerence in a relationship when someone is madly in love with another person. So much so that it affects their mindset and they can’t think of anything else but him/her.

It might not seem too different from love.



Up Next

What Does It Mean to Be Aromantic? 6 Myths About Aromantic People

Clear Myths About Aromantic People And Aromanticism

Aromantic people, or those who identify as such, have little to no romantic attraction to others.

Think you know what romance is? Think again. If you’ve ever met someone who seems detached from the concept, maybe they’re aromantic. Here’s everything (and we mean everything) debunked about them

Aromanticism is a widely misunderstood and overlooked sexual orientation. However, recognizing the signs can help individuals better understand themselves as well as foster empathy among others.