A Letter To The Other Woman

Letter To Other Woman

The other woman too is an illusion, just as your dreams with a narcissistic man are. Something was quite not right about the way he treated you recently. He never trailed off in the middle of an important conversation as he did now. He never was so busy that he didn’t notice you were sick for days. He never was so careless about you.

Every time you looked at his mobile screen, you saw a flash of fear run across his face. Why? You wondered.

Your suspicion bells were ringing but you subdued the voice with the voice of trust. You knew he wasn’t hiding anything from you for sure. Because you knew he loves you and no one can ever replace you.

But somewhere, something was not quite right. To console yourself, you mention your concern to your partner, only to be ridiculed by him. He calls you insecure and paranoid to have ever suspected a genuine lover like him. But you increasingly keep failing to silence your growling intuition.

Related: 5 Clear Signs He’s Cheating On You

In the meantime, you keep a close track on him and while you do so you find out a letter in his wallet. In moments, you find your world breaking apart as you read through the letter, each word piercing your heart. Your heart starts throbbing like mad and you realize that you are not the only person in his life – there’s the other woman too.

The truth is, your initial response will be denial. But with time as the truth sinks in, you realize that you are finally replaced.

All of your hatred goes on that other woman who has stolen your partner. You curse her as you ask in your head, how could she when she already knew that he was committed?

But with time, you come to see that this person actually saved your life.

This is a letter for every “other woman” who will never come to know what they did to us. We cannot reach you directly, for it would only send us back into a world of insanity that none of us desire to revisit. But we can hope that you might come across this letter and learn that there are always two sides to every story.

You have already been told one. Here is the other.

To the other woman:

To be very frank, I hated you. I quietly watched you shamelessly stealing the love of my love and flaunting it all over social media for people to see. It took me weeks to realize that you were cheating with my partner even before our relationship ended.

It took me months to realize that my pain and tears were used as a tool to fish out sympathy from you. And now I know, it will take me forever to come out of the insecurity of being replaced by another woman.

I do not hate you anymore. Now I am concerned about you. We might be two completely separate individuals, with different bodies and personalities – but when it comes to relationships, we are the same woman.

Related: An Ode to The Other Woman

Want to know how?

The place that you hold in his heart now, I conquered the same space. Just like you are now, I was the most beautiful, perfect, flawless partner in the world. Like you are saving him from his “emotionally unstable” ex now, I also saved him from the pain of his last, crazy ex.

I sympathized with him about how horribly she treated him, according to him. I was thrilled to be the person who finally made him happy. He was fascinated by me. He spent every single moment of his waking life texting me and showering me with attention. You are living the same ups and downs of a beautiful journey of love with him as I did. Ditto. Same.

Does this sound familiar?

One must wonder, in this short span of time, how I suddenly became crazy. Bipolar. Jealous. Needy. Clingy. Abusive! How did a flawless dreamy love story suddenly change into a nightmare, just in the blink of an eye?

Where did all the promises of being through thick and thin vanish? How did I suddenly become so horrible? How come all of his exes treat him badly without any fault of his? I might be a narcissist, wielding manipulation on him, what about his ex? What about the ex previous to his ex? She too was abusive?

For so long I punished myself thinking I was worthless. I truly believed that I deserved it. I believed I was getting old, becoming monotonous, lacking zeal, and hence he fell in love with another woman – so happily and enthusiastically. I believed I was an absolute mess, the worst disaster that could have ever happened to him.

27 thoughts on “A Letter To The Other Woman”

  1. Avatar of Laurel Martinek Nixon

    Don’t believe for a minute that this represents a typical tryst/affair. Each one is different. I will more than hate that woman … I will hope she dies a slow, painful death. It takes two, but two selfish people. Just when I needed my husband, my “best” friend, he felt neglected. That is my fault, my flaw. I put him first – always – but when I needed his love, his help, his comfort … HE felt neglected because he was spoiled – not getting my everything. My mom died and I had to home and find a setting for my profoundly retarded adult brother. While I continued to do everything I had done before and more (prepare my brother for his daily program, drove husband to train and picked up, dropped son off at school, went to work, worked on my mom’s home for resale, cooked dinner) finally, I collapsed. I read the saved messages how at the one time I needed him, he was giving that love, attention, and help to a bitch who he had known years ago … she had sons who were not even her husbands – a total whore. I’m still with him … after many years, he’s figuring it out and the giving the attention now that I deserved then. I can’t say that everyone should wait this long … but never assume. And yes, it is the worst pain.

  2. Avatar of Sarah R Conkle

    I actually never hated her. She was gorgeous, made Him happy, and was able to give Him a life I couldn’t. I want the best for Him. If anything I pitted her. I don’t think she knew He had herpes to begin with. I wanted to tell her but it wasn’t my place to do so. I hope she is ok. I hope they are happy.

  3. Avatar of Cynthia Ferrer

    I love to clarify any issues in my life that question my capability to give and feel love before I become judgemental.MY values are not devalued, my love is, haven't changed but I don't know yours♡>.

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