6. Do you have common religious and political values?
Do you agree on topics like spending, parenting, eating, fitness, neatness, and punctuality?
7. Does this person have any addictions that you find intolerable?
Alcohol? Prescription or recreational drugs? Food? sex addiction and/or porn? Gambling? Shopping or spending? TV, Internet, or video games?
When we love someone deeply, we love their essence — who they really are. But we all have an ego-wounded self, and the worst version of your partner needs to be tolerable to you. Don’t expect them to change. You get what you see.
If, when you go through this list, you find there are things that are not tolerable but you keep hoping they’ll change, you’re not with the right partner. You need to accept or leave. Expecting change will only lead to heartbreak.
Remember, you need to be the right partner to find the right partner. We attract at our common level of emotional well-being — self-abandonment or self-love. The better you are at loving yourself, the better your chance of attracting and sustaining a loving relationship.
Written by Margaret Paul, PhD
For information or to schedule a phone or Skype session: 310-459-1700 • 888-646-6372 (888-6INNERBOND) http://www.innerbonding.com
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