Attracting people seems like a big challenge for you? You will surely attract people and grab their attention, if you apply these 7 tricks, as backed by Psychologists.
Are you still living in the fantasy that cutting your hair short or using that Mac makeup kit or wearing that black bow tie will make you look attractive? Do you really believe that make-ups, dresses, and accessories are the keys to pull people towards you? It’s high time you start considering them as delusions.
These things are never worth it.
Yes, first appearances do leave a mark and you don’t need to be fair-skinned or have a zero-figure or six-pack abs to be attractive.
You just need to be dressed in a decent way. The rest depends on a lot of other factors.
According to psychology, beauty is just a matter of time; what stays with other people are your internal attributes.
These attributes leave a long and lasting impression on people’s minds and the attraction grows stronger.
So, are you eager to know about these 7 parameters? Here’s the list:
(1) You need to have individuality:
According to Baumeister, self-concept is defined as the individual’s belief about themselves which includes the person’s attributes and ideas about the self.
You need to understand yourself first before others understand you. No matter what happens, optimism should be your key weapon and you should know how to make things brighter.
Once you understand yourself, you will know your strengths and weaknesses properly. People are always attracted to the ones who have a strong individuality.
This individuality can be anything; you might be a good orator and people get impressed by your way of talking; the dresses you wear might reflect your own sense of fashion and are not dictated by others.
It’s not about dressing up or carrying accessories because they are considered as good; it’s about using them to define your nature, to compliment your character and not otherwise.
These will make people remember you and people will find you interesting.
(2) You need to have a great goal:
In psychology, there’s a phenomenon called Einstellung effect. This effect is based on the idea that when people are executing the same solution, they do not know of each other because all of them are doing the same thing.
On the other hand, when a new problem is created, it unlocks the door to new opportunities. Let’s say, there are 5 people in a project.
4 of them abide by the rules and think of finishing the project fast. The 5th one, however, adds more parameters into the project which holds the possibility of extending the project and even upgrading it.
That is when others will see the extent of the 5th person’s line of thought and get inspired by them.
They will admire it because that person could think of a better possibility and a higher goal while they were busy working in a mundane fashion without adding creativity to it. They are bound to praise the person for dreaming big.
(3) Don’t complain; adjust instead:
People who keep on complaining leave a negative impression on others.
According to a psychologist, Lisa Juliano, each and every situation is an opportunity to find fault for the ones who complain regularly.
Suppose you don’t like the food they serve you at your office canteen. Instead of adjusting or finding better solutions within the limited options available, you keep on complaining each and every day.
This not only makes you feel upset but also drains the one you are complaining too.
Since you keep on complaining about food, you might as well end up complaining about a lot of other issues because complaining becomes your habit.
When a person complains, it reflects the person’s inability to adjust. The list of complaints only grows. You become upset, you give negative vibes to those around you and eventually you make others feel bad too.
Nobody likes to stay in a negative environment. After a certain point of time, they will get tired of it and eventually detach themselves from you.
So, stop complaining and try to adjust.
(4) Have confidence:
Confidence is one of the strong forces to attract people. Everyone loves a person who is confident.
Dr. Mark D. White who is the chair of the Department of Philosophy at the College of Staten Island, states that,
‘Confidence’ can be equated with faith and having confidence is like having faith in something which one is uncertain of.
The reason confident people are attractive is that others see how confident people carry themselves, how they are happy with themselves and how they aren’t bothered about who thinks what about them.
Confident people don’t compete against others; rather people compete against them to feel confident.
(5) Look straight into the eye:
Looking straight into one’s eye while talking establishes a strong bond. Eyes speak a lot.
According to psychologists, when a person is talking to a person by looking straight into the eye, the eyes do a lot of talking and the other person is assured of the complete attention.
Looking away shows lack of interest and often disrespect when it comes to professional spheres. If you want to attract people, look straight into the eye.
(6) Listen to others and be a good story-teller yourself:
According to Bernard Ferrari, listening to others results in the development of good insights.
When you listen to a person carefully, you show respect to that person and the speaker reciprocate.
Simultaneously, if you are a good story-teller yourself, others will listen to you. Story-telling has been prevalent in our society since ancient times.
All of us love hearing stories. Being a good story-teller ensures you have people eagerly waiting to listen to you.
(7) Use your body to do the talking:
Body gestures are a good way of impressing people. According to psychologists, movements of hands, or legs or facial expressions create positive and negative impacts on others.
Instead of talking too much, a slight gesture can make you extremely attractive like the way you ruffle your hair or the way you sit or the way you pick up the fork at the dining table.
Our gestures, our attitude, our way of talking and similar such elements reflect the person who we truly are. Positive attitudes which involve love and respect for others get reflected in these attributes and help us attract people easily.
So try to focus on them and spread positivity around.
- Baumeister, R.F., 1999. The nature and structure of the self: An overview. The self in social psychology, pp.1-20.
- Tresselt, M.E. and Leeds, D.S., 1953. The Einstellung effect in immediate and delayed problem-solving. The Journal of General Psychology, 49(1), pp.87-95.
- Rabin, S. and Lagowski, B., 1993. How to attract anyone, anytime, anyplace: The smart guide to flirting. Penguin.