Building Confidence and Becoming Attractive


Building Confidence and Becoming Attractive

An Insight Into the Mind of the Average Male Who Lacks Confidence With Women

Many men have an intense fear of approaching women and a distinct lack of confidence when speaking to attractive women that they desire. The main reason for this is because they haven’t practiced the art of how to approach women in a confident manner and in a way that will make them want to respond. Unfortunately, the reason that they haven’t practiced this skill is because they don’t actually know what it is that they need to practice.This lens will hopefully address a couple of the key issues that men face when attempting the quest for confidence, and provide some inspiration to help them overcome the initial barriers that they may face

The Simple Science of Attraction

Understanding the basics…

Every man always wants to know what women really wants. Every man always wants to understand every woman’s motives. Every man always wants to know what women find attractive, and every man thinks that women are a totally different species, and want the complete opposite out of a partner that they want for themselves. This is not true. Women want virtually everything from a partner that we want, and they have the same basic desires and attractions as we do, but fortunately for us minus one enormous obstacle…

The majority of women are not superficial.Men look at women and can immediately fall in love purely through physical attraction. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not that women don’t look at handsome men and think; “Phwoaaarr yehhh”, they do, but the majority of them don’t feel that intense lust (or even love) that most men do.The reason for this is purely scientific, and a direct product of human evolution. Luckily, this means for us that it isn’t really a choice what most women find attractive, and fortunately the attribute that most women find fundamentally attractive is the male personality, and not his appearance.

Again, please don’t get me wrong, if you wear terrible, terrible clothes, don’t wash or clean your teeth and you smell, but have a charming personality, then you won’t ever attract a decent woman. But on the flipside, you certainly don’t have to be an over the top metro sexual that bathes in perfume in order to bag yourself a decent catch. Essentially, if you say the right things, smile at the right time, look the woman in the eye and carry a general air of confidence, the woman’s world is your oyster.

Logical thinking…

The first steps.

As most men who have a fear of women know, the reason for their inadequacy is almost always intrinsically related to a lack of confidence in some form. A few men either a) don’t know this or b) are unwilling to admit it, but the majority of men out there know that a lack of confidence is a reason for their inadequacy.Admitting this is a fairly decent first step, but the real problems arise when trying to confront this issue, and namely, when trying to fix it. A person lacking in confidence knows that they don’t have any confidence, much the same as a non-driver knows that they can’t drive a car, or a monolingual person knows that they can’t speak another language.

And much the same as a person who is unable to drive or speak another language, most people don’t have any idea where to start. Unfortunately, these are the type of people who will only ever speak one language, or use public transport, or have difficulty attracting women and attaining confidence without someone to guide them. Hopefully this article should address some of the key barriers that hold people back when trying to gain confidence, give them the ability to think for themselves in these initial phases of having no confidence, and also provide a little bit of guidance. Ok, so you’ve taken the first step and admitted that you don’t have the confidence to approach and thus attract women.

The second step needs to be where you identify the problem, and then address it. Again, this follows the simple principles of practicing something in order to improve at it. So, using an example of a person who can’t drive a car at all, where would they start?? Simple… At the beginning. Similarly, for a person who can turn the key in the ignition and drive forwards with no problem, but has no experience in reversing… You practice reversing.In terms of attraction and confidence, the application of that principle is exactly the same. If you lack confidence in speaking to strange people, then figure out exactly what it is and address those issues…

Perhaps if you practice approaching people and asking questions that you feel comfortable asking (for a lighter, directions or for the time) then approaching people might just become natural to you. Basically, you start from the beginning. Similarly, if you have no problems talking to people in everyday situations and have no problem approaching people when asking honest questions, yet you are incapable of approaching a beautiful woman and striking up a conversation, then maybe you should assess exactly what the reasons why are and start from there. Figure out a way to approach the woman you desire that will make you feel just as comfortable as you would feel when approaching someone in the street and asking an honest question.There are ways around everything and practice makes perfect. The only real problem is that most people don’t have a clue where to start. Think about things logically and then decide your own starting point. If you can do this then you will be independently on your way to being attractive in no time at all.

Extra info and tips on approaching women and how to be attractive.

Sitting back and waiting for things to happen to you is a waste of time. If you apply the right principles and the right thinking to how you can successfully gain the confidence you need to approach women and become attractive, then the ball is quickly in your court.Too many people believe they are born without confidence and that it is a part of their personality that cannot be changed. This couldn’t be further from the truth. With practice and dedication it is possible to accomplish most things. The holy grail of being attractive is most definitely one of them.

Become a Contributor at The Minds Journal

We Want To Hear Your Story. Share your work,thoughts and writings and we will make sure, it reaches the world! Submit Now

You may also like

Building Confidence and Becoming Attractive

— Share —

— About the Author —

Up Next

7 Things That Can Tell You A Lot About Someone

Tell You A Lot About a person

Do you trust people at face value? Or do you analyze their attitude, body language, and behavior first to know them better?

Being able to read people is a superpower that can help us build better relationships and avoid toxic people. 

In this article, we are going to explore how subtle mannerisms and behaviors of people can reveal a lot about their real self.

When you know what to observe, you will be able to understand someone better and know their real personality.

Here are 7 things that can tell you a lot about a person

1. Their body language

Up Next

What Is A Psychonaut? Uncovering The World Of Mind Explorers 

Beyond Consciousness What Is A Psychonaut Signs

Do you want to explore the edges of your mind? Do you like to stretch your mind and navigate its farthest limits? Do you prefer entering altered states of consciousness to learn more about your inner self? Then you just might be a psychonaut. What is a psychonaut, you ask? Let's dig in.

Warning: This article involves discussion about the controlled use of different substances like psychedelics and hallucinogens for the purpose of research and self-discovery, not for recreation. This informative article is not designed to promote the use of substances or drugs in any way. Kindly use your own discretion while reading. 

What is a psychonaut?

Psychonaut m

Up Next

Redefining The Self: How Do You Discover Yourself Through Your Perception of Others

How Do You Discover Yourself By How You Perceive Others

How do you discover yourself? Do you become spiritual and go to the Himalayas to meditate? Do you reflect on how you have lived your life till now? Do you listen to what others have to say about you? Or do you listen to what you have to say about others?

Here’s the answer: You listen to what you have to say about others. How you perceive, observe and judge others can reveal a lot about yourself and help you gain a deeper understanding of the self. This is how do you discover yourself.

What we can learn from how we judge others

The way we judge others can reveal a lot about ourselves, including our own values, biases, and insecurities. By reflecting on our judgments of others, we can gain insight into ou

Up Next

Is Someone Watching You? Understanding Stalking Behavior

Breaking Down Stalking Behavior What You Need to Know

You have this constant feeling that you simply can’t shake. Your anxiety levels have shot up and you’re always on the edge. You feel like you’re being watched…all the time. Every step you take, every move you make, someone is watching you. You have a stalker and they are stalking you even when you’re at home.

Trigger warning: If you have been stalked before, then this content may appear triggering. Please use your discretion before reading the following content.

Is someone following you?

You walk down the street. It’s late. There are a handful of busy people walking by who pay no attention to you. The yellow streetlights make you feel relaxed and comfortable as you slowly walk towards your home. And then it

Up Next

Healing Your Inner Child: A Path to Overcoming Trauma

Steps To Healing Your Inner Child And Trauma

Healing your inner child is a journey toward self-discovery and self-love. Acknowledge and nurture the emotional wounds of your past, with the steps below!

We all have an “inner child,” which is an unconscious archetype coined by Carl Jung. It holds our vulnerability, spontaneity, creativity, curiosity, and magical ideas. It also holds fears, anxiety, shame, loneliness, trauma, and insecurity experienced growing up.

Our inner child manifests through our beliefs and actions and can have a negative influence on our thoughts, feelings, interpersonal behavior, and choices as adults. To heal, we must develop a relationship with our wounded self.

Trauma and Our Inner Child

Trauma that happens in chil

Up Next

10 Ways To Limit People Pleasing

People Pleasing Syndrome Ways To Limit People Pleasing

“People pleasing is really fearing people's reactions, rejection or abandonment.” - Tracy A Malone

Key Points:

People pleasing often starts in childhood, when someone doesn't have, or doesn't give themselves, permission to put themselves first.

Valuing others more than oneself delegates reinforcement of one's worth to the outside world.

People pleasers tend to be over-observant of micro-expressions and verbal nuances in others.

To avoid people pleasing at work, one can stop overcompensating and feeling responsible for mistakes made by coworkers.

Up Next

4 Tips That Will Help You Practice Self Compassion

Practice Self Compassion Tips For Self Compassion

"Practice self compassion. Talk to and be your own best, kind, compassionate, and caring friend." - Kristin Neff

Key Points

The more compassionate we are with ourselves, the more confident we will become.

The more harshly we judge our actions, the more harshly we will judge others.

If we're compassionate, we can objectively look at our missteps as lessons and learn to recover from them.

Compassion is not intuitive, and it’s an exceedingly difficult skill to learn. At face value, it may appear to be easy to express, but most people come across as more judgmental and righteous