A 5-Step Guide To Escape The Guilt Trap

step guide escape guilt trap

The Cost of Guilt and Obligation

In return for obligation-driven behavior, others might give us approval, acceptance, appreciation, or another emotional need associated with worth. Although this may be momentarily satisfying, according to the Worthiness Program, we are only worthy as long as we meet conditions and receive the emotional need most associated with worth.

Furthermore, we must be sufficiently worthy before taking time off or doing something simply for the fun of it, but, it’s a trap because proving one’s worth can never be done, and the endless attempt can result in dire consequences.

Every time guilt or obligation gets the deciding vote, it results in some form of self-suppression, repression, or even depression, and, consequently, creates another hole for energy to drain.

No doubt, there’s an accumulative cost to putting ourselves last. Over time, ignoring personal needs and desires wreaks havoc on the physical and emotional body, and it eventually manifests as the type of pain and suffering that forces us to withdraw our attention from others and focus on self-healing.

Some people use illness as an excuse to put themselves first, but you don’t need excuses to care for yourself. In fact, if you need an excuse to say no, you’re going to unconsciously manifest excuses, and have to deal with the consequences. However, there’s no point disempowering yourself with avoidable problems when you can empower yourself with a permanent solution!

Related: 5 Strategies For Surviving The Guilt Of Infidelity

The Cure for Guilt and Obligation

Inevitably, the quest for conditional worth is doomed to fail. No matter what you do or how you do it, even if you attain great success or bend over backward to please others, there’s always someone who will disapprove, judge or reject, and, quite possibly that someone is you.

escape guilt

When every situation, experience, and relationship requires continuous proof of worth, the game never ends, and sooner or later, it becomes apparent that if you want to overcome obligation and avoid the Guilt Trap, you must turn off the Worthiness Program. Once the Worthiness Program is deactivated, there is no longer a reason to be motivated by obsessive obligation, and as obligation loses hold, guilt naturally dissolves over time.

How to Deactivate the Worthiness Program

1. Stop Trying to Prove, Protect or Improve Worth!

Here’s the truth that can set you free; you are unconditionally worthy, and because worth is guaranteed and intrinsic, no matter what you do or don’t do, you are no less worthy. But, it is not enough to consciously know this truth without reprogramming your subconscious mind, and this means that you must convince your subconscious of your unconditional worth.

Since any attempt to prove, protect or improve worth reinforces the idea of conditional worth, you must stop thinking and acting like your worth is conditional. By claiming your unconditional worth, you tell your subconscious mind that abandonment does not threaten your survival, and, consequently, the Worthiness Program can turn off.

2. Release Conditions

Disentangle your worth from what you do, how you look, where you live, status, accomplishments, diplomas, roles you play, living a certain way, or whatever your conditions of worth might be.

3. Command Worth

Whatever you say after “I am” is a command to the subconscious mind, so even if you don’t fully believe it yet, claim, “I Am Unconditionally Worthy.” You may need to make this command thousands of times before your subconscious believes it, so keep at it until you feel worthy.

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