What Kind Of Angry Are You? The 4 Types Of Anger

 / 

,

Everyone gets angry at some point, and anger is probably one of the most common emotions we feel. But did you know there are different types of anger, namely, 4 types of anger? This article is going to talk about the different types of anger and how they look like. So, what is your anger style? Let’s find out!

Anger may rear its emotional head in irritation and annoyance, self-pity and withdrawal, envy and resentment, or vengeance and violence. Our anger may fill the room with dominance or veil itself in anxiety or avoidance.

Those who internalize anger may question whether they have the right to be angry and avoid direct confrontation. They stuff their anger down to prevent offending, being disliked, or losing control.

Those who externalize anger resort to blaming, shaming, and engage in provocation or even aggression. They escalate in an attempt to gain control, demonstrate an image of strength, and avoid expressing underlying emotion.

There are at least two dimensions of anger—its emotional manifestation, whether we tend to physiologically escalate as we emotionally agitate or remain physiologically calm; and the manner in which we address the object of our anger, whether more directly or indirectly.

Related: How The 10 Most Common Anger Styles Affects Intimate Relationships

4 Types Of Anger

1. Explosive Anger

Someone whose anger is overt may be labeled “hot-headed,” may be verbally and even physically explosive as a reaction to underlying dysregulation, and is both agitated and direct in addressing the object of their anger.

There are several ways to overpower in conflict: Respond immediately with anger, slam doors, raise your voice, and point your finger, interrupt, disagree, and dominate.

Overreacting will result in others fearing or fighting you, and you will fail to effectively navigate difficult issues. Anything meaningful will become overshadowed by resentment, and you may maintain a false sense of control over your life.

Types of anger

2. Passive-Aggressive Anger

There are those who become agitated yet address their frustration in indirect and incongruent ways—their actions do not match up to their words—and it’s difficult to know how to respond.

Here are a few ways to spread your bitterness: Indirectly attack the target of your anger, act like you’re not angry, but drop a snide zinger with a smile, and ruminate.

Ambiguity practically ensures that others will be both confused and irritated by you and that the source of your underlying fury will remain unresolved. Your mixed messages are a kind of learned helplessness, perpetually preventing any meaningful outcome.

3. Avoidant Anger

Then there are those who have a reflexive tendency to turn their anger inward, to emotionally implode. They may be seen at times as evasive and distant as they repress difficult emotions.

There are multiple ways to evade conflict: Walk away from confrontation; suppress difficult thoughts and feelings; and mean well, but when the going gets tough, hide. Others will sense an emotional void and pressure you to open up, or just avoid you.

Know that your avoidance is not the opposite of an explosive reaction; it is anger turned inward. Be prepared for depression or worse.

4. Diplomatic Anger

I would cast ideal anger as a kind of diplomacy. The diplomat is direct yet calm and viewed by others as controlled, assertive, flexible, responsive, and constructive in the face of conflict and frustrating circumstances.

There are several ways to respond well: Openly admit to being angry, and remain respectful. Negotiate with civility. Others will respect you even if they lose control themselves.

A slow pace combined with respectful posture and tone will help in a difficult moment. Your peace-ability will be remembered when the fury fades.

Related: How To Help Children Cope With Anger And Angry Feelings

What About You?

One poster offered a variant: the Credible Hulk. I laughed because I identify with it. It read, “You won’t like me when I’m angry, because I always back up my rage with facts and documented sources.” I call the Credible Hulk “the hot-headed diplomat,” because he is moderately direct, yet visibly agitated.

There are many varying combinations of these styles. What do you do when you are angry? What would you call your anger style?

Whatever your style, the research on rage has indicated mistakes to avoid when your feathers are ruffled—holding it all in, letting it all out, seeking revenge, or becoming physically aggressive.

During the early part of the 2nd century, the Greek philosopher Epictetus wrote, “Suffering arises from trying to control what is uncontrollable or from neglecting what is within our power.”

You can respond with greater insight, courage, and skill. Slow your response, listen to your self-talk, identify unnecessarily hot and self-angering thoughts, substitute cooler and more rational thinking, express your feelings in a safe environment, analyze the costs and benefits of angering on, and work on developing the ability to empathize in the midst of anger.

Diplomatic anger is assertive rather than either aggressive or avoidant, flexible rather than rigid, and ultimately constructive rather than destructive. It avoids accusation or name calling, and requires that we know how we feel and what we need of others before we speak.

When nothing else has worked, it is often necessary to drop our anger. This requires understanding our own limits and realizing we cannot change or control everything.

Yet you may find it difficult to do so. When anger is frequent, debilitating, or results in ongoing disruptions in thinking, feeling, behavior, or relationships, consider seeking the help of a therapist.

Copyright @ Blake Griffin Edwards


Written By Blake Griffin Edwards 
This article was also published at Psychology Today
4 types of anger

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

Anger and Emotions: What’s Really Setting Us Off?

Anger and Emotion Whats Really Setting Us Off

Ever wonder what’s really fueling your anger and emotions? Discover how a mindful approach can help you regain inner peace in your life!

Taking a mindful approach to exploring why we are angry.

Key points

Anger is a secondary emotion.

Anger is a warning sign that lets us know there is an issue to address.

Knowing what we are feeling will help us to address the source of our anger.

Anger can hit us when we least expect it. There are some people who get angry and not know what they are angry about. The

Up Next

Master Your Mind: 8 Subtle Clues Extraverted Intuition Is At Work

Is Extraverted Intuition Guiding You Subtle Clues

If you’ve ever wondered how extraverted intuition works or if you might have it yourself, you’re in the right place. Extraverted intuition (often abbreviated as Ne) is a personality trait that shows up as a knack for spotting connections, exploring ideas, and picking up on possibilities others might overlook.

It’s like a mental compass, pointing toward new insights, and it’s often subtle but powerful.

We’re going to look at 8 little-known extraverted intuition signs is at play, helping you spot and harness this amazing skill set in your everyday life.

Let’s first start with what is extraverted intuition.

Related:

Up Next

How I Hacked My Personality?

How I Hacked My Personality

Can we truly reshape our personalities for lasting change? Discover Dr. Shannon Sauer-Zavala’s article “How I hacked my personality” and learn how small shifts in mindset and behavior can lead to meaningful transformation in your life.

A Personal Perspective: Science-backed strategies for intentional trait change.

Key points

Research suggests that personality changes over time.

We can speed up personality change by taking intentional action.

Changes that are reinforced by the environment are easier to maintain.

Up Next

Women Empowerment: The Rebecca Effect in “Ted Lasso”

Rebecca Effect In Ted Lasso Women Empowerment

Can women turn negative experiences into empowerment? Discover the “Rebecca Effect” from Ted Lasso and transform your personal trials into powerful self-acceptance!

Personal Perspective: Empowering women to transform shame and betrayal.

Key points

“Ted Lasso” inspired with imperfect, endearing characters whose trials and transformations mirrored our own.

The “Rebecca Effect” is the empowerment and transformation possible when we have been oppressed or shamed.

The “Rebecca Effect” is the process through which women embrace themselves in totality.

Up Next

The Healing Power of Emotional Tears

The Healing Power of Emotional Tears

Ever wondered why we shed emotional tears? Tears serve a healing purpose. Explore how it plays an important role for our well-being.

Emotional tears are an expression of our shared humanity.

Emotional tears, expressed by children, teens, and adults, are a universal experience observed across the globe. Emotional tears play a healing role, leading to our emotional and physical well-being. This post explores the value of emotional tears and the importance of presence and support from family and friends during unexpected

Read More Here: “Why Am I Always On The Verg

Up Next

10 Important Weekly Reflection Questions You Need To Ask Yourself

If you feel stuck and want to keep track of your goals every week, then weekly reflection questions can really help you. Weekly reflection questions can help you check in with yourself and make sure you’re headed in the right direction. These are the questions you need to ask yourself every week to keep growing and moving forward.

Have you ever had a week with so much going on that you end the week feeling overwhelmed and exhausted? I know I have been there. Sometimes, the week goes by so fast that it’s over before I know it, and there is no time left to process it.

A weekly reflection can help evaluate if what you are doing is working. It fosters self-growth. So, pull out that weekly reflection journal and answer the weekly reflection prompts below.

Up Next

Why Is Lying Wrong? Morals Are Not The Only Reason

“I must not tell lies“, this famous line from Harry Potter is more than just a dialogue. Dolores Umbridge, made Harry Potter cut these words as a permanent mark on the back of his hand. But if asked “Why is lying wrong?” The answer is always moralistic, which is subjective.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

We have all received punishment