What Kind Of Angry Are You? The 4 Types Of Anger

 / 

,
The Types Of Anger: What Kind Of An Angry Person Are You?

Everyone gets angry at some point, and anger is probably one of the most common emotions we feel. But did you know there are different types of anger, namely, 4 types of anger? This article is going to talk about the different types of anger and how they look like. So, what is your anger style? Let’s find out!

Anger may rear its emotional head in irritation and annoyance, self-pity and withdrawal, envy and resentment, or vengeance and violence. Our anger may fill the room with dominance or veil itself in anxiety or avoidance.

Those who internalize anger may question whether they have the right to be angry and avoid direct confrontation. They stuff their anger down to prevent offending, being disliked, or losing control.

Those who externalize anger resort to blaming, shaming, and engage in provocation or even aggression. They escalate in an attempt to gain control, demonstrate an image of strength, and avoid expressing underlying emotion.

There are at least two dimensions of anger—its emotional manifestation, whether we tend to physiologically escalate as we emotionally agitate or remain physiologically calm; and the manner in which we address the object of our anger, whether more directly or indirectly.

Related: How The 10 Most Common Anger Styles Affects Intimate Relationships

4 Types Of Anger

1. Explosive Anger

Someone whose anger is overt may be labeled “hot-headed,” may be verbally and even physically explosive as a reaction to underlying dysregulation, and is both agitated and direct in addressing the object of their anger.

There are several ways to overpower in conflict: Respond immediately with anger, slam doors, raise your voice, and point your finger, interrupt, disagree, and dominate.

Overreacting will result in others fearing or fighting you, and you will fail to effectively navigate difficult issues. Anything meaningful will become overshadowed by resentment, and you may maintain a false sense of control over your life.

Types of anger

2. Passive-Aggressive Anger

There are those who become agitated yet address their frustration in indirect and incongruent ways—their actions do not match up to their words—and it’s difficult to know how to respond.

Here are a few ways to spread your bitterness: Indirectly attack the target of your anger, act like you’re not angry, but drop a snide zinger with a smile, and ruminate.

Ambiguity practically ensures that others will be both confused and irritated by you and that the source of your underlying fury will remain unresolved. Your mixed messages are a kind of learned helplessness, perpetually preventing any meaningful outcome.

3. Avoidant Anger

Then there are those who have a reflexive tendency to turn their anger inward, to emotionally implode. They may be seen at times as evasive and distant as they repress difficult emotions.

There are multiple ways to evade conflict: Walk away from confrontation; suppress difficult thoughts and feelings; and mean well, but when the going gets tough, hide. Others will sense an emotional void and pressure you to open up, or just avoid you.

Know that your avoidance is not the opposite of an explosive reaction; it is anger turned inward. Be prepared for depression or worse.

4. Diplomatic Anger

I would cast ideal anger as a kind of diplomacy. The diplomat is direct yet calm and viewed by others as controlled, assertive, flexible, responsive, and constructive in the face of conflict and frustrating circumstances.

There are several ways to respond well: Openly admit to being angry, and remain respectful. Negotiate with civility. Others will respect you even if they lose control themselves.

A slow pace combined with respectful posture and tone will help in a difficult moment. Your peace-ability will be remembered when the fury fades.

Related: How To Help Children Cope With Anger And Angry Feelings

What About You?

One poster offered a variant: the Credible Hulk. I laughed because I identify with it. It read, “You won’t like me when I’m angry, because I always back up my rage with facts and documented sources.” I call the Credible Hulk “the hot-headed diplomat,” because he is moderately direct, yet visibly agitated.

There are many varying combinations of these styles. What do you do when you are angry? What would you call your anger style?

Whatever your style, the research on rage has indicated mistakes to avoid when your feathers are ruffled—holding it all in, letting it all out, seeking revenge, or becoming physically aggressive.

During the early part of the 2nd century, the Greek philosopher Epictetus wrote, “Suffering arises from trying to control what is uncontrollable or from neglecting what is within our power.”

You can respond with greater insight, courage, and skill. Slow your response, listen to your self-talk, identify unnecessarily hot and self-angering thoughts, substitute cooler and more rational thinking, express your feelings in a safe environment, analyze the costs and benefits of angering on, and work on developing the ability to empathize in the midst of anger.

Diplomatic anger is assertive rather than either aggressive or avoidant, flexible rather than rigid, and ultimately constructive rather than destructive. It avoids accusation or name calling, and requires that we know how we feel and what we need of others before we speak.

When nothing else has worked, it is often necessary to drop our anger. This requires understanding our own limits and realizing we cannot change or control everything.

Yet you may find it difficult to do so. When anger is frequent, debilitating, or results in ongoing disruptions in thinking, feeling, behavior, or relationships, consider seeking the help of a therapist.

Copyright @ Blake Griffin Edwards


Written By Blake Griffin Edwards 
This article was also published at Psychology Today
4 types of anger

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

7 Warning Signs Of Losing Yourself In A Relationship And How to Rediscover Your Sense of Self

Signs Of Losing Yourself In A Relationship

Are you starting to feel like you have lost yourself in a relationship? Do you have this persistent feeling that you don’t know who you are anymore? You know, that feeling when you are so caught up in someone else’s world, that you forget who you are? Well, these are just some signs of losing yourself in a relationship.

Believe it or not, this is actually quite a common feeling, and lots of people experience this. If you have ever felt like you have lost yourself in a relationship, then this article can be a godsend for you.

Let’s delve into the all those signs of losing yourself in a relationship, so that you can stop yourself from doing so (at least to some extent!). And not just this, we will also talk about what to do when you lose yourself in a relationship. So, are you ready to explore this? Let’s go then!



Up Next

4 Steps To Open And Hopefully Change Someone’s Mind

How To Change Someone's Mind: Useful Pointers To Remember

If you want to change someone’s mind, there are a few things you need to remember. This article is going to talk about some of the best ways to influence someone’s mind, but in the right way. So, are you ready to explore how to change someone’s mind? Let’s go then!

KEY POINTS

Starting conversations with respectful curiosity can open someone’s mind without evoking their resistance.

Our brains are very protective of how we think. Arguing with someone activates the fight-or-flight response.

Practice summarizing key ideas people share so they feel heard before you ask if you can share your ideas.



Up Next

Are You Struggling To Manage Your Emotional Reactions? 3 Important Steps To Take

Managing Emotional Reactions: Effective Steps To Take

If you are someone who struggles to control or manage your emotional reactions, then you have come to the right place. This article is going to talk about some of the best things you can do when it comes to controlling emotional reactions or emotional reactivity.

KEY POINTS

Emotional reactions are based on mental habits you can change if you want to, believe you can, and can commit to the steps.

Even when you know a new mental habit will relieve your stress, you must consistently override your protective brain while forming the new habit.

Start with small steps so you can see your progress and celebrate your successes.



Up Next

3 Zodiac Signs That Bear The Burden Alone With A Never-Say-Die Attitude

Zodiac Signs That Bear The Burden Alone

When life throws its toughest challenges the way, some are drowned by it while others manage to swim through. Below are 3 zodiac signs that bear the burden alone with extraordinaire calm and resilience.

One thing about these zodiacs carrying the burden alone is that they always handle the hard things in life all by themselves. They don’t vent their problems on social media, or cry about it. These people a determined and strong, and can handle anything without support from other people.

When carrying the burden alone, they keep silent and confront all their troubles – this is what really truly sets them apart. So are you one of those who don’t shy away from problems and face them head on? Let’s explore the zodiac signs that bear the burden alone!



Up Next

The Philosophy Of Forgiveness: What Is True Forgiveness And How To Forgive People

What Is True Forgiveness? Tips on How To Forgive People

Have you ever held onto anger and resentment because someone did you dirty? Most of us often become trapped by the weight of bitterness and make wrong decisions that affect us more than it affects others. This is where true forgiveness comes in. But exactly what is true forgiveness?

There is a transformative power hidden within the philosophy of forgiveness. True forgiveness has the potential to liberate us from the chains of bitterness, allowing us to heal, grow, and rediscover the joy of living. 

Let’s explore the depths of what is true forgiveness and learn how to forgive people so that we can be liberated from the pain and bitterness.

What is True Forgiveness?



Up Next

“Why Do I Hate Talking On The Phone?”: 7 Signs You Might Be Dealing With Phone Anxiety

Why Do I Hate Talking On The Phone? Signs Of Phone Anxiety

Do you ever find yourself rolling your eyes and letting out an exasperated sigh when your phone starts ringing or buzzing? Do you feel dread at the mere thought of having to make or receive a phone call and try to find out how to avoid talking on the phone? If you’ve ever said these words to yourself, “Why do I hate talking on the phone?” with frustration, you’re not alone.

There are many people out there who feel the same as you, and hate talking on the phone. And it turns out, there’s a very valid reason behind feeling this way, and that’s phone anxiety.

Today, we are going to talk about phone anxiety and the signs you hate talking on the phone, so that the frequency of you asking “why do I hate talking on the phone” lessens. So, are you ready to know more about this? Let’s get started, then.



Up Next

The ‘Sincericide’ Trap: How Being Too Honest Can Backfire

Sincericide: Dangers Of Being Too Honest

In the realm of human interaction, truthfulness is often described as a virtue—a foundation of trust and authenticity. However, there’s a phenomenon called “sincericide,” which denotes the paradoxical act of undermining one’s own sincerity.

Honesty is appreciated, but the idea of “Sincericide” – an oxymoronic pitfall that may lead to undesirable results through too much sincerity.

Trust is built on transparency but it’s also important to know how not to cross the line between being frank and rude.

In this article, we’ll discuss ‘Sincericide’, the secret killer of strong relationships — telling the truth without sugarcoating it. How do you communicate honestly without destroying you