Words are our tools. They come readily to us and we much prefer them over actions as they use so little energy. We have no sense of guilt, remorse or conscience that we are easily able to make promises with no intention of ever keeping them. Here’re are most-used false promises of the narcissist.
You, on the other hand, hate to break a promise and we know that your adherence to this means that the effect our broken promises is significant against you and will allow us to draw fuel.
You will be familiar with the nature of the broken promises if you have danced with our kind already but you may not know what we actually mean when we say certain supposed promises to you. If this dance is new to you, not only will you not know what is being really meant when we whisper these words to you, but you may not realize that this promise will not be kept.
Here are five of the most-used false promises of the narcissist we issue, this is what we really mean when we say them.
1. I will always love you
I know that you love to hear such bold proclamations because they appeal to you as a loving devotee. Indeed, you have been conditioned to believe strongly in the concept of love. I won’t always love you, in fact, I will not even begin by loving you because I am incapable of feeling what you know to be love since it has been denied to me as an option.
I understand what love is to you however because I am surrounded by people like you telling me what it means and it appears in books, on the television, on the internet, in films and advertisements. It is easy to understand what love means to you but impossible for me to feel it and therefore I can never love you. What I mean when I tell you this is that I am telling you what you want to hear so you will remain with me and provide me with the fuel that I crave. I am telling you that I will actually always want you so long as you give me what I need. My desire to be with you is entirely conditional on you furnishing me with fuel.
2. I will repay you
I will borrow money from you because of my sense of entitlement since either I have none and I want yours or I have plenty and I still want yours. If I have no money I need it and therefore I will want to borrow it from you. I will, of course, promise to repay you in order to induce you to lend it to me in the first place. I will then make repeated promises to pay you: –
“I am a little short this month, I will have it for you next month.”
“I am due to a bonus in two months so I will pay you from that then.”
“I had an emergency and had to use the money for that.”
“I am not able to work at present but since you love me you won’t mind waiting will you?”
“If you really loved me, you would not ask for it back.”
Those of our kind who lack financial resources want the money for obvious reasons but also in order to strengthen the link between them and you so that you have reason to remain in contact with them and to allow them to trot out excuses and reasons which will eventually provoke you through exasperation, frustration, irritation and upset.