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4 Subtle Clues That Reveal a Man’s Character

Clues Reveal Man Character

There are many subtle and secret hints which can clearly reveal how a man’s character actually is, and the kind of mindset he harbors.

Society tends to judge men by their accomplishments and possessions. A man’s home, car, job titles, and wealth are all measurements that others use to evaluate his worth.

But possessions and accomplishments only tell part of the story. If you want to find out who a man really is, you have to examine his character. One of the best ways to evaluate a man’s character is by listening to how he speaks to other people.

In this post, we’ll look at four groups of people and how a man’s communication with each of them reveals his character. I call these “subtle clues” because they are easy to miss. However, they are each a major clue to what a man is really like. These clues are helpful not only for discerning the character of others but more importantly, ourselves.

Clue #1: How a man speaks to his wife

A few months ago I went to dinner with a friend, and his wife called in the middle of our meal. It was impossible not to hear their brief conversation, and I could tell he was greatly annoyed with her. His tone of voice indicated he didn’t want to talk to her and she was bothering him. It seemed obvious to me that his tone of voice and general attitude was making the situation worse.

If a man can’t be trusted to protect his most sacred relationship, he can’t be trusted with anything.

We’ve probably all had occasional spats with our spouse in front of other people. But there is a difference between an occasional argument and a constant pattern of belittling or antagonizing your wife. I don’t think much of a man who doesn’t respect and honor his partner.

Along these same lines, be wary of a man who puts his wife down when she’s not around. I once heard a public speaker make a joke at his wife’s expense, and my opinion of him immediately plummeted. If a man can’t be trusted to protect his most sacred relationship, he can’t be trusted with anything.

Want to know more about how a good man behaves in a relationship? Read 8 Things A Good Man Never Does In A Relationship

Clue #2: How a man speaks to his children

A man is in an authority relationship with his children, and it can be easily abused. We’ve all seen men (and women) verbally bashing their kids in public for even the smallest of offenses. So how should a man speak to his children, and why is it a test of character?

We should speak to our children with respect and love. We still need to discipline, we still need to correct, and those are not always pleasant experiences. However, it must be done in a spirit of love and a desire to do what’s best for the child.

This is a test of character because it’s easy to be harsh with our kids. I don’t get it right all the time, and I’ll bet you don’t either. But as men, it’s important for us to use our parental authority to show love and care. Sometimes that means tough love, but we can still respect our children while disciplining them.

Subtle Clues That Reveal a Man’s Character
Subtle Clues That Reveal a Man’s Character

Clue #3: How a man speaks to people who are serving him

This is the most immediate way to gauge a man’s character. The way he speaks to retail workers, restaurant servers, cleaning staff, and others who are in a service role shows whether he truly respects others and is secure in is identity.

A man who is secure doesn’t need to put others down or disrespect them, no matter what their position in life.

My wife worked in a retail job for ten years. I was amazed at the stories she would share about customers who treated her terribly. Some of these were men who appeared powerful on the outside but were secretly so insecure that they felt the need to treat others badly in order to make themselves feel better.

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Kent Sanders

Kent Sanders is a writer, professor, and creative coach. He is also the author of The Artist’s Suitcase: 26 Essentials for the Creative Journey, and host of the Born to Create Podcast. Kent's mission is to help others unlock their creative potential. You can find lots of resources for creative entrepreneurs at his blog,, where he writes about creativity, mindset, and productivity.View Author posts