How do you know that you are dating, or even interacting with a con man sociopath? How does a con man sociopath actually thinks and behaves with other people? When it comes to a con man sociopath, there are many facets you might not know of.
Sociopaths are identical and predictable. Truly understanding the characteristics of a sociopath changes everything.
It likely sounds dramatic, an impossibility, and maybe a bit like fear-mongering to say with calm confidence, oh that guy? He’s a sociopath. Or, she’s a sociopath. – The breaking news is, it is neither dramatic nor impossible.
It’s practical and sensible. It is scary. However, calmly knowing sociopaths exist and are real and what that means is how we unplug the damage of the sociopath effect and influence.
Aren’t Sociopaths Only In the Movies?
I wish. – The fact is a sociopath is a real thing. A common reality. There are humans all around us who function from sociopathy.
Though sociopath is a big scary word, the characteristics of a sociopath are really tiny and limited. And distinct. There’s a good reason for this: a sociopath is a sociopath because they have a brain significantly different from the regular brain… yours or mine. Their brains are structured so that they have no sensation or experience of feeling: care, or consideration, or love, or even like for people outside their own body.
Pathological vs Non-pathological
It’s critical we take in an understanding of this phenomenon. It’s only been openly talked about since sometime in 2014 when the online communities of those in personal romantic relationships that went more than sideways began blogging and asking: what is this?, as I did for myself. 2014 is when I started this website and coaching others to safety and restoration after freeing myself from an international con man criminal, in short, from a sociopath.
There’s an unfortunate mix-up between what people are calling a “narcissist” and a non-pathological narcissistic person.
If you’re thinking of them as a “narcissist” read about and research about sociopaths for real answers. A narcissist aka sociopath aka psychopath does and says everything they do and say for one single two-fold reason and motivation only.
A “narcissist” is most often a sociopath.
Sociopaths Are Pure Narcissism
All sociopaths are narcissistic. They’re pure narcissism with nothing else in their minds aside from themselves. I know this language and meanings get very confusing.
There’s lots of material and many memes and so many Insta accounts that call the scammer a “narcissist”. And then also many that talk about the more mundane narcissistic person who is not pathological and who is not a scammer.
Unfortunately, in this confusion, both the pathological and the non-pathological are called “narcissists”. Most of the time that person you might be calling a “narcissist” is in fact a sociopath.
Sociopaths are 100% narcissistic. They’re in your life for a reason that is not genuine or normal in any way. There’s no one more narcissistic on the planet than the antisocial psychopath aka sociopath or psychopath.
Read here about why the clinical terminology uses the word “antisocial”.
Sociopaths Are Real: And Simplistic in Nature
Though sociopath is a big scary word, the characteristics of a sociopath are really tiny and limited. And distinct. There’s a good reason for this: a sociopath is a sociopath because they have a brain significantly different from the regular brain… yours or mine.
Their brains are structured so that they have no sensation or experience of feeling any bonding, love, care, or consideration for other people — or animals. – They do pretend to.
Their attachment or interest they display for others is where we begin to feel horrified because it’s not like ours. And it’s not good.
Other people hold no meaning to them aside from using that person for the sociopath’s personal gain. This means they’re what’s commonly called a con man or con artist, or scammer. And they come in male or female versions.
What depth of recovery do you want?
Brain Scans Reveal the Sociopath, “Narcissist”, Psychopath Brain
There’s nothing we can recognize as normal once the mask hits the floor. So what is going on inside of them? There’s basically nothing there. Where love would be there’s white noise. The connection between themselves and others isn’t made of concern or care.
There’s Nobody Inside
In the real-deal terminology, the pathological predators we’re talking about here are called: antisocial psychopaths. This brain biology includes having no conscience. We’ll call them sociopaths… And some people think of them as a “narcissist”. The big confusion here is that there are pathologically narcissistic people and non-pathologically narcissistic. The pathological are best understood (and recovered from) when viewing them, considering them as sociopaths.
They Do Not Connect
Though they can create what we first feel is intimacy and a deep interest in us, calling what they put out towards us a real “connection” isn’t quite the thing. This is because they see us as an object to grab-and-smash; something like a natural resource they hold the rights to. They truly believe that they have every right to make use of humans as you or I would make use of a vacuum cleaner or a blender to get something done.
The thing is, we care more about the well being of our vacuum cleaner than a sociopath does about us or any other human. They make use of others in absolutely any way they like. The word, “exploitation” comes to mind.
This is really hard for us to believe. It’s humanly impossible to absorb in one single moment the reality that there are people who look human, just like us, but are missing the “humanity chip”. Taking this in is a process.
We Are Not Responsible for The Predator’s Inhumanity
How Do Sociopaths (aka Narcissists aka Psychopaths) Do What They Do?
“When individuals operate without conscience they are able to do horrible things we would never dream of doing, and there is no moral compass or guilt feelings to stop them.” – Dr. Deborah Ettel, Ph.D. Psychology
The Sociopath Effect Is Inevitable
In order to hook, use and take from targets, (that would be you or I, just regular people) every sociopath uses the same little tricks and misleads and lies. This takes effect in one-on-one relationships, in romantic or work situations, towards religious leaders or politicians; anywhere you find and admire or like someone who is a sociopath this hook will take hold.
Where ever there’s a sociopath in a group, a family, or an organization. The predator gets busy in a true love faux-lationship or superior-acolyte in any setting. The arc of hell and the crazy plays out in five stages. Always, and also in every one of these set-ups.
This Is The Only Way It Goes
There’s no deviation from this pattern of hook and use and break-away. It might be carried out over five days or 50 years with any particular morsel of prey — but there’s no variation in the way a sociopath functions or effects prey.
Everything they do and say is in an effort to make use of those around them is for their survival. We are their livelihood. This survival is dependent upon us believing they’re normal. This is not easy for us to see. It takes time and taking in a new perspective to see this thing we never imagined existed.
Our experience with them is traumatic and so is coming to terms with what they are. Not all trauma is bad!
Sociopaths are Identical, Predictable, and Severely Limited
So many give credit to the sociopath as a master manipulator, a genius liar. I beg to differ. It’s time to look again from another angle, so we can stop giving them the power. They claim to be amazing and talented geniuses — and we do at first see them as masterly wizards of manipulation and at the antics, they pull.
Sociopaths are the antithesis of loving and giving; they only take and as the fallout of their taking, destruction is all they bring to the table.
In reality, sociopaths have very limited thinking. They are severely limited, have specific thinking and feelings, and have no other way to think or feel.
What they feel as raw emotions is desire or need, and then glee when they get what they want, anger when it’s threatened or taken away, rage when their scam is being seen through or put to an end, and fear. They have a great fear of being exposed which fuels endless rage at being caught or exposed.
How Would the One You’re Wondering About Do On This Test?
Answer these very basic questions that lead to an estimation of whether someone is a sociopath aka a psychopath… or that person you’re calling a “narcissist”. If any the “psychopathy possible” is the result consider it “psychopathy likely”. – It’s safer and wiser, and more accurate that way. After all, never forget, understanding what you’re facing isn’t about diagnosing them… this discovery serves the purpose of finding your safety, keeping your sanity, and restoring your well-being.
They Lose it When They Lose
If they’re at risk of exposure they lose it; when exposed they risk not getting what they want or getting away with it they become wild cornered animals.
They frantically and erratically hop from one tactic to another trying to get their house of cards back in place. They come up with elaborate stories, fake illnesses, disappear, kill, cry spontaneous sheets of tears… rage and threaten and blackmail (like, if I lose, I’ll leave the United States…). The nearer they are to losing it all, the more they lose it.
The profound fear they live with is one of the things they don’t want us to realize about them. If their fear was not incredibly deep, why would they rage so when we get close to the truth? Nobody’s There
Confusion is The Vibe
The reason we feel so confused is that this is nothing like anything we’ve known before. And… It isn’t anything we can see by using the way we normally think to look at it.
The whole mess is a fake-lationship. A faux-lationship. We think we’re in a real relationship; the sociopath knows it’s not a real mutual human relationship.
Sociopaths embed themselves into people’s lives to take, to use, to make use of us, and to do whatever they want. This is how they spend every single day; this is their “work”. It is how they survive.
This Kind of Con Brings Post Traumatic Stress
As a confused and hurt person trying to find answers, to decipher what’s going on, understanding the characteristics of a sociopath lets us see from an angle that supports our understanding. This also saves our mental and emotional – as well as physical – health and allows for healing.
It’s not easy to fully comprehend and takes time to see it, but the fact is, we’re nothing more than a piece of equipment or an object to the sociopath. Beyond that, we’re despised and held in contempt.
This is so hard to grasp because we’re fully human. We love and support those we love; we don’t view them as expendable resources. Sociopaths are the antithesis of loving and giving; they only take and as the fallout of their taking, destruction is all they bring to the table.
A Sociopath Can Be Anywhere: The Park, A Party, at Work
Because pathological users are anywhere we might be, we need to learn how to recognize them. Their real power when you think about it is that we can’t recognize them and so not be affected by them.
Sociopaths exist in every social, regional, and economic realm. Most crave riches with insatiable desire. Paradoxically they can handle living in a box on the side of the road until the next target with a nice warm home comes along. Why…? It’s the result of having no emotional connection to things, people, or places.
Pathological Parasites Are Anywhere We Might Be
Predatory parasites dwell in trailer parks in Wyoming, on ski slopes in the Alps, in board rooms across the world, within the profiles of online dating sites, at church, in bars and clubs, in the grocery store, at the dog park.
Sociopaths hunt prey in the workplace, on Facebook, in chat forums, at a party. We can meet them at the grocery store, in line at the post office, getting gas or through friends.
It’s said one-in-25 people are sociopaths and are either male or female. We’ve all heard the phrase: hiding in plain sight. We’ve got to change how we “see” – our “sight” – they’re plain as day.
20 Characteristics of a Sociopath
1. Fun, charming, and entertaining. Super polite when meeting new people.
2. Display impressive knowledge or skill at something. This proves to be limited or fake.
3. Have a primal perception as far as what concerns us, what we need, and depend upon; this is used to make false promises, to make deals, and to blackmail.
4. Are easily offended. They fluster and bluster when offended and lash out.
5. Lie about all things – except those odd moments they tell the truth.
6. Believe they’re better than everyone. Express misogynistic, racist, homophobic, or other prejudice and hatred.
7. Crave a good reputation.
8. Crave status, power, possessions, money, yet exist at any level of society.
9. Have delusions of fame and importance, though they might live in the Metro station.
10. Mimic our authentic emotions and social mannerisms as best they can.
11. Have no capacity for care, concern, or love, though it sometimes seems they do.
12. Think of themselves as victims. They can cry fake tears at the drop of a hat.
13. Are sexually promiscuous and often simultaneously avoid sex with a primary prey; someone they’ve put in place as a primary “partner”.
14. Do any horrible, illegal, or immoral thing they want to do and to absolutely anyone.
15. Think their prey (partners, spouses, girlfriends, etc.) should be grateful.
16. Take pride in their scams. Run several scams simultaneously. Many women; many men.
17. Believe everyone deserves whatever it is that they do to them.
18. Smear their targets and prey; loudly, publicly, online in court.
19. Have outbursts of rage. Can be violent. Talk about dying, killing themselves or others; and do sometimes kill.
20. All of them know they are monsters; they’re proud of it and enjoy it.
There’s Much More
There are more characteristics that are identical sociopath to sociopath since their state of mind is based on the limited and abnormal brain that takes someone a sociopath.
They commonly are discovered to engage in shocking sexual practices, they avoid paying taxes, skip child maintenance in cases of divorce, cheat at absolutely everything, and have others do their work. Even with seemingly legit employment they ultimately live off of others’ lives, efforts, finances, respectability, and magnanimity.
Discovering the Reality of a Sociopath is Trauma in Itself
In the world of psychology, they’re called antisocial psychopaths, or sociopaths. And lately as having an antisocial personality disorder. This newer contemporary term diminishes the damage they do and casts them in the light of hapless wrong-doer.
They’re not innocents suffering from a disorder. They know they cause harm. With pleasure and pride, they do terrible things to people. – Another delay in finding what we’re really facing is getting hung up on terminology and ideas of “narcissists”.
Bragadocious: Sociopaths Talk a Lot, a Super-de-Duper Lot
Sociopaths can’t help themselves from bragging. They like to chatter about the things they do. These elaborate boasts represent their made-up life. It’s all lies. The traits and tricks of a sociopath never waver.
They’re consistent with all their prey whether in pursuit for ten days or we’re captive for ten years or 30-years. It’s the same for each of us from the first “hello”, to the way they break up with us.
Sociopaths Lie: Lies Are Real, Real is Made of Lies
Sociopaths lie easily. Lying is normal for them. They feel no guilt or shame about lying. If one lie doesn’t work they whip out another one. They know they lie. For them lies make what’s real, and real is made up. How’s that for some mind-fuckery?
Since they are not connected to the world, to their own life to anything through emotions in the way that we are, sociopaths forget what they say one moment to another moment, and can only manage the moment in front of them.
Consequently, we can lie to them, they can know that we’re probably lying, and yet, they act on the lie as if it’s the truth.
Lying is Part of Their Pathology: Their Biology
The sociopath (or that person you might be calling a narcissist) lies in a way that’s called “pathological”. This means the lying comes as a result of their brain. In other words, they can’t not lie. Sociopaths cannot, and do not get better, change, nor have a “narcissistic wound” that makes them what they are.
They are not geniuses or master manipulators. In truth, the way they get by is dependent upon us not knowing what they are or wha they truly means. They need us to keep seeing things the way we do through the lens of “normal”.
Their severely limited minds and their total lack of emotional connection means they truly can’t keep the pieces together. They make off-handed comments that reveal their inner workings. Knowing the characteristics of a sociopath exposes them for what they are and includes eventually, being able to see them as boring and even laughable.
At this point in time in the history of humankind, there is no known “cure.” They wouldn’t want to “get better” or “be better” if they could. They enjoy every minute of what they are. They adore themselves while knowing full well that they’re monsters.
There’s Nothing a Sociopath Won’t Do
The characteristics of a sociopath include pride in the things they do. They consider nabbing prey an achievement. They’re boastful and feel great, and an exaggerated gleeful accomplishment in scamming, lying, taking, stealing, using, and worse.
You know that exciting, exhilarating start to all the mess? When they have that grin, and are sparked and energized. That’s what that is. It’s the glee and excitement and pride they feel in themselves for capturing you.
They make off-handed comments that reveal their inner workings. Knowing the characteristics of a sociopath exposes them for what they are and includes eventually, being able to see them as boring and even laughable. Only when we don’t recognize them or we believe them do we find ourselves ensnared.
Power of Influence: Truth and Lies
In these flashing moments of truth our heads spin. The truth always stands out. But in the confusing, bizarre world of the con, actual truth only cuts a fleeting crack in the lunacy and looks like lunacy itself.
A sociopath makes us doubt the truth and to be soothed by their lie. Sociopaths influence us in such a way, that it’s natural for us to defend and protect their lie.
It’s All Trauma
All in all, anytime we spent in the presence of a sociopath, wasn’t what we thought it was. There’s never any mutual moment aside from maybe sitting down to eat because both of us want a good dinner.
Any limbic-brained person in the presence of a sociopath in any dynamic such as a personal relationship of love, of family members, or neighbor or boss and employee or coworker… they all involve sustained trauma and harm and a period of PTSD in the aftermath.
Why they’re at dinner with us, is not the same reason we’re at dinner with them. We were targeted and hijacked for the sociopath’s own use.
We Can Recover After Breaking Up with a Narcissistic Sociopath
The most devastating thing a sociopath creates is disunity. Disunity from self and from others we love. Even a separation from others we don’t know as our life shuts down and closes in to a very small thing centered on them and appeasing them. We end up in a spinning place of off-kilter confusion, more than walking on eggshells.
We must find the way to reunite with ourselves, with all and everyone around us. Recovering from this trauma takes non-judgemental support and encouragement.
With accurate and true information and understanding of what a sociopath is – and what we are as gorgeous, loving humane, human beings, we can heal and get our lives back. We can trust again, laugh again, and love again.
Jennifer Smith, founder of True Love Scam Recovery and https://www.truelovescam.com is an author, public speaker, and international private recovery coach and holds support groups in Los Angeles for those coming out of narcissistic abuse and fraud relationships. Guest contributor to Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare. Hear Jennifer interviewed on Mental Health News Radio. Find Jennifer on Instagram @truelovescamrecovery, @truelovescamrecovery_health, and @jennifer_smith_tlsr On Facebook and Pinterest Reach Jennifer at, firstname.lastname@example.org – Jennifer Smith is a pen name.
Want to know more about a con man sociopath? Check this video out below to know more about whether you are dating a con man sociopath or not!
Written By Jennifer Smith Originally Appeared On True Love Scam