An outgoing personality with anxious mind have a lot of struggles that most people have no idea about. Being an extrovert with anxiety is a tough and confusing path to walk, but well, it is what it is.
People often hold certain biases about anxious people. They believe that anxious people can’t be outgoing, straightforward, or social and vice versa. This just amplifies the million stereotypes and prejudices about people with anxiety.
However, we are quick to assume that anxiety can only torment introverts, extroverts cannot be anxious at all. Why? Because apparently, anxiety is a contrast to their big, bold personalities. However, strangers would never guess it. Extroverts never know when to fight or flight, and their self-angst is maxed out.
They are often the life of the party but can also be mind-numbingly introspective, questioning everything and anything happening around them. They can be dancing away their stress but are also observant about the other people at the party too.
So, how it feels to be an extrovert with social anxiety? Let’s find out the struggles of being an outgoing person with social anxiety.
Related: 15 Signs of An Introverted Extrovert
11 Struggles Of Having An Outgoing Personality With Anxious Mind
1. A normal day usually looks like this.
Anxiety: Okay but what if…?
Me: Homie we went over this a thousand times and we totally resolved it.
Anxiety: Yeah but I’ve looked at it from a new angle and there are like 15 more reasons why you should worry about it.
Me: Go on.
2. They have a love-hate relationship with people.
Their overthinking and apprehensive nature always stop them from trusting someone immediately. In fact, this makes them extremely selective of their friends.
But once they have opened up their hearts to you and have made the decision to trust you, then you will be in their life forever. Close relationships matter to them, and they are very committed to the people they love.
3. They have very few close friends.
People with outgoing personalities are mostly surrounded by very few genuinely close people with whom they share their personal weirdness. They could be surrounded by a sea of people but they would still like to spend quality time with only one special person.
When you deal with an outgoing but anxious person, you have to know that they don’t like being with people they don’t know. Socializing with strangers is a no-no for them.
4. They find it easy to talk to and connect with people.
They can be charming creatures and choose to grace a party because they are the life of it. While socializing they give their best. They can be so charming, that other people will be entirely unaware of their anxious core.
They deal with their anxiety silently but feel a bit better if they are with people they know and feel comfortable with.
5. They start the day with overthinking.
“What exactly did I say to the guy at the bar yesterday after I was drunk?” “Did I flirt too much?” “Was my lipstick matching with my dress?” “What’s my name?” “Where am I?”
However trivial the thing might be, people with an anxious mind will end up overthinking about everything little thing they have said, and analyze it to the death.
6. The smallest things will override their nerves.
When you are dealing with an extrovert with social anxiety, whether it’s picking up their dry cleaning, finishing a project for work, or making a call to their doctor, just the thought of having to deal with it makes their hearts race and their minds crazy.
The thought “Are we doing it right?” keeps them awake at night. The smallest things will get on their nerves, and they will lose their minds over it. It’s exhausting for them to constantly be in this state of mind.
7. Dating is hard for them.
An outgoing personality with anxious mind is often perceived as a weird being by their partners which makes dating hard for them. It becomes very difficult for them to not be overprotective, over-concerned, and oversensitive too!
They always have to juggle between their hobby (overthinking) and their partners. And unfortunately, even if they don’t like it, they end up choosing their hobby over them their partners almost every time, because it’s uncontrollable, no matter how much they hate it.
8. You will find them often lost in thoughts.
Just let them know where you are, or they will end up obsessing about all sorts of horrible and disturbing stuff. If you don’t call them back for a long time, or don’t reply to their texts, they will instantly think that you’re lying dead in a ditch somewhere or cheating on them with someone else.
It is very difficult for them to control their thoughts at times; they try very hard and they know how annoying it can be for the other person, but they just can’t help themselves.
9. Even the smallest of gestures makes them go weak in their knees.
They tend to get overwhelmed very easily, so anything you do to make their lives easier is always greatly appreciated.
Picking them up for a date, playing with their hair while watching a movie, calling to see how they’re feeling, or simply just making them a cup of tea comes with the highest of thanks. They never take these gestures for granted.
10. Most of the time, they’re way too hard on themselves.
They are always gripped by the feeling that they are not good enough and they are not doing enough, and that they should be doing more and being more than what they are right now. They are so self-deprecating, that they are constantly doubting themselves and beating themselves up.
They always feel like they are lagging behind everyone else, and they can do so much more than what they are doing now. Well, we can certainly blame it on their overimaginative minds.
11. They avoid staying awake till late at night.
Nighttime is the best time for our brains to annoy us. It seems to be more active during the night than during the day for us. So to avoid overthinking and hampering their potential to do something, they do it during the day, as much as possible.
However, sometimes it still ends up keeping them up at night. Because when you have an overthinking mind, it never shuts up; it keeps on disturbing you and annoying you all the damn time.
When you are an outgoing personality with anxious mind, it’s hard for you to shut your overthinking mind off. But being an extrovert with social anxiety doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you or that you’re weird. You are you, and learn to love yourself for who you are. The right people will always be there by your side.
Want to know more outgoing people with anxious minds? Check this video out below!