Will you forgive someone who cheated on you? Cheating is never acceptable in any relationship. But is it unforgivable? Before you decide, take a look at some common myths about cheating in a relationship.
Myths about cheating? Yes, you read that right. Now let that sink in. Although being cheated on in a relationship can be one of the most painful and humiliating experiences of life, we would suggest you go get some insights into the question of what is cheating in a relationship, before you take any call on your cheating partner.
Related: How To Not Let An Ex’s Infidelity Sabotage Your New Relationship
10 Myths About Cheating In A Relationship
If you are having trouble deciding whether or not to forgive someone who has cheated on you, these 10 busted myths will offer you some clarity regarding what is considered cheating in a relationship and when you should call it quits.
1. Cheaters Intentionally Get Involved In Affairs
It might happen unintentionally. Don’t assume that your cheating partner had a hidden agenda to toss you out of their lives all along. Infidelity does not function that way all the time. Affairs outside of the relationship can happen without anyone seeking them out. Some people who stray find it difficult to point out what really made them commit cheating in a relationship.
2. Cheaters Don’t Feel Guilty
Thinking that someone who is cheating in a relationship would probably not feel guilty because it’s their conscious decision, is not always correct. People who slip on the slippery slope of infidelity also have a conscience. It is wrong to assume that everyone who cheats is incapable of feeling guilty.
3. Affairs Happen Only In A Glitched Relationship
No matter how surprising it sounds, an unhappy relationship is not always a cause for an illicit affair. It might so happen that, both the partners are happy in the relationship but one of them feels something is missing in their life. And in this quest to find the missing piece of the puzzle, they sometimes opt for cheating in a relationship, unwittingly.
People in happy relationships might also give in to cheating to seek the thrill of the forbidden, to experience the excitement of newfound emotions. It has very little to do with the nature of the present relationship.
4. Once A Cheater Always A Cheater
To believe the cheating myth that cheaters cannot change is to discredit the power of repentance and redemption. If a person realizes how much pain they have inflicted on their partner by cheating in a relationship, they will never choose to repeat their mistake.
5. People Who Cheat Are All Narcissists
Not all narcissistic manipulators are cheaters. Some narcissists will never cheat on you with other people, yet subtly keep manipulating and controlling you throughout the relationship. Likewise, not everyone who ends up cheating in a relationship is a narcissist, devoid of emotions and incapable of feeling remorse.
6. Only Sexual Involvement Counts As Cheating
Is there a definition of cheating in a relationship? What counts as cheating in a relationship? Cheating can take place through seemingly irrelevant and insignificant actions even without crossing the line of the physical act of love.
This means, holding hands, harmless flirting, explicitly declaring affection for someone, or even getting emotionally attached and dependent on them, can count as cheating in a relationship.
You have already crossed the line when you believe your partner would feel uncomfortable if they knew what you were doing.
Whereas men feel sexual infidelity is a bigger crime, so-called emotional infidelity is what makes women the most jealous. This means people perceive infidelity in different ways.
7. Women Do Not Cheat As Frequently As Men
Statistics of infidelity are rapidly altering and the truth is that sexual liberation among women means that they can be equally responsible for cheating in a relationship. Although earlier cheating men were more in number, nowadays the number of women who cheat on their partner is also growing.
8. Sexual Cheating Is More Common In Men
It is a highly stereotyped belief that men are more likely to cheat sexually and women are more likely to emotionally cheat on their partners. But, even if a man cheats emotionally, physical attraction is a surefire contributor to infidelity.
9. A Cheater Should Never Be Trusted Again
Moving back to point 4, you could easily debunk this tiring cliche about a cheater being an untrustworthy person.
“Can I trust my partner again?” is an important question to ask, especially if you are a victim of cheating in a relationship. By all means, this question will yield you nothing as the appropriate question here is “Why did my partner choose to betray me?”
This definitely sounds simple but is apparently difficult to consider when you are distraught with feelings of betrayal.
Whether your cheating partner can be trusted or not greatly depends on the way you react to being betrayed rather than on their tendency to cheat.
10. Cheaters Are Sexually Promiscuous
You might think people who are more sexual in nature have a greater need to have their sexual thirst quenched. Hence, these people actively seek the opportunity to physically engage with as many people as possible. Not always.
The truth here is, that having an insatiable sexual need does not predict your partner’s possibility of cheating on you.
Would you eat just about anything under the sun just ‘cause you are hungry? Probably not. It is natural to have different sexual appetites from your partner. But it doesn’t conclude that your partner is sexually promiscuous in nature.
To Draw A Line
Every infidelity has a purpose. Most often they are not well understood or analyzed. Rather, we like to hide under the illusion that cheaters have the sole purpose of being selfish and unthinking of their partner or that they draw some sort of crooked sadistic pleasure by imposing pain on their partners.
It’s easier to engage in “Why me?” thoughts than to stop ourselves and ask “Why?”, after being cheated.
Related: 10 Major Ways to Build Trust in Any Relationship
But that being said, you need to know when you are being taken advantage of, and you must know where to draw the line.
Can you define cheating in a relationship? Let us know what do you think about our article on Myths About Cheating In A Relationship.
Frequently Asked questions
What counts as cheating in a relationship?
Emotional as well as physical relationships that border on infidelity count as cheating in a relationship.
What are examples of cheating?
Physical relationships, flirting, holding hands, and emotional attachments, all are examples of cheating in a relationship.
Is cheating in a relationship normal?
No, cheating in a relationship is a definite cry for attention, and not normal.
Why do people cheat on the people they love?
There are several reasons that make people choose cheating in a relationship, including lack of self-expression, dissatisfaction, and more.
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