Here are some cheating myths you better review twice before believing them.
Myths about cheaters? Yes, you read that right. Maybe you should go back and read that once again and let that sink in. Some people are of the belief that cheating is what some people are actively seeking to get rid of their monotonous relationships and that cheaters are the most treacherous and heinous creatures on this earth. They are better done away with. Because who on earth cheats? How can someone commit such an unforgivable crime?
Crime, indeed it is. But when (if) you ever find your partner cheating on you, do not jump into hasty conclusions. Before you make some biased assumptions regarding cheating and cheaters, do consider this list of 10 cheating myths.
However unbelievable they might sound, these 10 myths about cheating truly needs to be done away with.
10 Cheating Myths:
1. Cheaters intentionally involve in affairs.
It is time we stop believing that cheaters are out there with a hidden agenda to toss you out of their lives and destroy your good night’s sleep. No! Infidelity does not function that way. Affairs outside of the relationship are as equally surprising for both the person who is cheating and also the person being cheated on.
Even people who stray find it difficult to point out what really made them do it. Dr. Tasso says, “Inadvertent cheating is when you innocently start chatting with someone like a friend or old acquaintance, perhaps via social media, for example,” says. “From there it can turn into something more than just casual, whether emotional or physical.” He rightfully says that the internet is a “fertile ground for infidelity.”
A survey designed by Divorce-Online, a UK-based legal services firm had the word ‘facebook’ mentioned in the form as a reason behind infidelity.
2. Cheaters are never guilty.
If someone is cheating they would probably not feel guilty because it’s their conscious decision. No. If this is the case, then we human beings might be perfect. Like most of us, people who slip on the slippery slope of infidelity also have a conscience. It is wrong to assume that cheaters are psychopaths.
Dr. Kurt Smith says, “I’ve found that most cheaters really do have a conscience. Many people who cheat didn’t set out to do so. A lot of time cheating just develops out of one bad decision followed by another bad decision.” You might have varying reaction – anger, frustration, resentment, grief to your cheating partner but it doesn’t mean your partner enjoys cheating on you– they’ll probably just not show how they feel about it. Dr. Kurt says, “Once they’ve crossed that line, it’s easier to justify it, keep on cheating, and enjoy the ride while it lasts.”
3. Affairs only happen in a glitched relationship.
No matter how surprising it sounds, an unhappy relationship is seldom a cause for an extra affair. Paradoxically, cheating happens even when the cheater is satisfied and happy with his/her significant other. The act of cheating is symbolic of something that is lacking in the relationship, in your partner or yourself.
For instance, the need for self-exploration might be a very strong reason behind seeking affection outside one’s relationship. Perel writes, “People stray for a multitude of reasons, and every time I think I have heard them all, a new variation emerges. But one theme comes up repeatedly: affairs as a form of self-discovery, a quest for a new (or lost) identity. For these seekers, infidelity is less likely to be a symptom of a problem and is more often described as an expansive experience that involves growth, exploration, and transformation.”
Overall, it is safe to say that people in happy relationships might also give in to cheating to seek the thrill of the forbidden, to experience the excitement of newfound emotions. It has very little to do with the nature of the present relationship.
4. A cheater today is a cheater tomorrow.
Tammy Nelson, a couples therapist and the author of The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity says, “When we assume “once a cheater, always a cheater,” we deeply underestimate people’s ability to change.” This saying simply sells people short.