Revealing the Mask: Top 7 Indicators of Unhealthy Jealousy


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Signs of Unhealthy Jealousy

Have you ever fumed with anger while watching your loved ones being close to another person? Do you feel the rage inside when you see your partner giving attention to someone else? This feeling is known as jealousy. It is an emotional state of envy, Insecurity, and fear, that is triggered by a perceived threat to a valued relationship.

It is normal to feel the urge to protect people you love. However, if this protectiveness becomes a barrier between you and your partner, it could signify unhealthy jealousy. However, how does healthy jealousy differ from its unhealthy counterpart?

Let’s find out what makes healthy jealousy different from unhealthy jealousy

Healthy Jealousy vs. Unhealthy Jealousy

Jealousy is a complicated and often misunderstood emotion.

Healthy jealousy often displays your commitment to your relationship. It also helps you safeguard it and protect it from major threats. In addition, it often improves the quality of your relationship and strengthens it through honest communication. It shows that you would never want to lose your significant other or live without them, and also connects you two more deeply. 

Read Healthy Ways To Express Jealousy In A Relationship: 5 Things You Can Do

On the other hand, unhealthy jealousy often results in feelings of doubt, worthlessness, frustration, and the desire to control your significant other. Moreover, one might even accuse their partner unnecessarily and simply out of fear and push them further away due to unhealthy jealousy and irrational fear.

Having said that, only knowing about it is not enough. You need to be able to identify unhealthy jealousy as well. Read along to find out what unhealthy jealousy looks like.

7 Major Signs of Unhealthy jealousy

One can differentiate between healthy and unhealthy jealousy in several ways. Here are the top 7 ways to identify if you are suffering from unhealthy jealousy

1. Your Partner Ignores Your Feelings

One of the crucial signs of unhealthy jealousy is disapproval of a partner’s feelings and needs. If you notice your partner disrespecting your choices or making fun of what you love, they could be absorbed in unhealthy jealousy.  

You may see your partner being skeptical about your choices and always criticize you for feeling a certain way. They see everything around you as a threat. If you try to do something you love, they will demotivate you or pass negative comments towards you.

You may think it’s constructive criticism until you notice their patterns carefully. For example, if you like to go out with your friends or pursue a new hobby, they might not be very encouraging about it. Not being able to see you happy with anything or anyone else besides them can be a huge red flag of unhealthy jealousy.

2. They Always have This Incorrigible Need for Controlling Everything You Do

If your partner is very jealous, they will try to control every action of yours in the relationship. You may experience a lack of individuality in such a relationship because that’s how your partner wants you to feel. If you decide anything alone, it may make them mad and jealous to see you getting out of their control.

It may look cute at the beginning of the relationship; to have a possessive partner. I am not saying that protectiveness is detrimental. You may feel valued till you catch them going through your phone, making your decisions for you, or accusing you of something irrelevant to satisfy their ego.

In addition, they might end up hurting themselves to make you bow to their decision. You will find yourself on the verge of losing your sanity in such a relationship.

3. They Continuously Harbor Doubt about You

Ever noticed your partner accusing you of cheating without any reason? This could be one of the major signs of unhealthy jealousy. The jealous partner always suspects you to have ill intentions and always thinks that you’re up to something bad behind their back. You may often catch them checking your phone or going through your texts rather than believing your words.

Moreover, they may interrogate you for the most harmless actions. By interrogation, I mean your partner may try to wring out as much information as possible, not in a caring way but to find any loophole in your words and actions.

In addition, even if they don’t find anything suspicious, they tend to assume something worse to prove themselves right. Having a partner, who is interested to know your whereabouts can be a good thing. However, being doubted repeatedly can often be a bummer.

4. They Stalk Over Your Social Media.

Social media has become an important presence in our lives, which has changed our way of interaction. However, it has also created new possibilities for doubts, and mistrust. Have you ever caught your partner obsessed with your activities on social media? It may be a sign of unhealthy jealousy. 

You will find them keeping a track of your posts, followers, and followings of your social media handles. They may even make a scene regarding your social activities. In addition, they may compel you to delete your social accounts, which is a red flag. In the worst-case scenario, you may find them hacking your socials.

Furthermore, you may observe your partner’s reaction to your social activities, which can provide a clear idea about your partner’s intentions with you. If they cannot respect your privacy, they are probably a victim of unhealthy jealousy.

5. They Expect You to Invest All Your Time in Them

At the beginning of a relationship, it is natural to have a strong desire to spend time with your loved one. Nonetheless, it is essential to establish healthy boundaries to maintain a strong bond. If your partner displays unhealthy jealousy, they may not respect these boundaries and as a consequence of their insecurities and negative thinking, they might end up ruining the relationship that both of you have worked so hard to build.

In addition, they may always want you to spend all your time with them even if it requires you to give up your hobbies, plans with friends, or an important sports match. They may not like you to spend your leisure time without them. 

As a result, you may lose your individuality and alone time, while pursuing them. If they don’t respect your personal space and don’t trust you with anyone, it might be a sign of unhealthy jealousy you should never overlook.

6. They Display Excessive Possessiveness Towards You

A little bit of possessiveness is normal in any relationship. If you love someone, you can feel protective of that person. However, there is a limit to it, and they may feel annoyed when it becomes too much. Over-possessiveness often occurs due to insecurity and fear of abandonment. 

Furthermore, you may notice your partner is being competitive toward certain people. They think that that person might be interested in you. They might want you to stop interacting with others so, you don’t get distracted or cheat on them. 

Moreover, a possessive partner doesn’t want to share you with anyone and may bind you with several restrictions. Playing the victim card and gaslighting are some signs of this trait. Over-possessiveness is a big sign of unhealthy jealousy.

7. Your Partner is Becoming Unhealthily Dependent on You

Do you feel overwhelmed by being your partner’s only emotional support system? Are you the only person in their life? You may feel this way because your partner always requires moral and emotional support and is unhealthily dependent on you.

In addition, they spend their time thinking about you, may share every detail with you, and keep scrolling through your socials when you are busy. They keep texting or calling you even when you are at work and may even threaten you about harming or killing themselves if you are not there for them at every beck and call.

It’s okay to depend on your partner sometimes, but being codependent on them is a massive gesture of an unhealthy relationship. An unhealthy dependence on your partner can make the relationship toxic and unstable. It also hurts both of you. It is necessary to address and resolve the issue before it becomes too bitter and resentful.  

Read 8 Ways Jealousy Harms Your Relationships

Jealousy is a normal emotion that can become unhealthy when it begins to control a person’s thoughts and actions. If you recognize any of these signs of unhealthy jealousy in your loved one, then it is necessary to encourage them to seek help from a mental health professional. With the proper support and guidance, it is possible to manage jealousy in a healthy way and work towards having a more stable and secure connection with each other. 

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  1. Jenn Cho Avatar
    Jenn Cho

    Jealousy drives some people to extraordinary means of destruction all for self-serving reasons. They lack control and confidence of their emotions, behaviors and actions. It may stem from their upbringing from childhood or past traumas growing up. They would benefit from counseling and therapy in acknowledging and taking responsibility for their emotions and behaviors. They would benefit from coaching through how to deal with jealousy.

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