When we face unfair or unfavorable circumstances for no fault of ours, it is but natural to develop a feeling of resentment or anger. This anger can be directed towards specific people, such as our parents, teachers, coaches, or society, community, cultural practices, and such. Nonetheless, if we let this resentment grow and continue to influence our minds, we will project our unresolved emotions onto others who do not deserve this treatment.
Therefore, we should identify from where our anger is stemming out and take some healthy measures to resolve it. We can confront the person who is responsible for our pain and make them realize in a peaceful way, how they have hurt us, we can forgive and let go of the anger.
Our fear emotions are triggered when we perceive a danger. Fear is supposed to prepare our bodies to face the perceived threat or attack. However, according to research, “dysfunction in fear processing can lead to psychiatric disorders in which fear outweighs the danger or possibility of harm.” This gives birth to phobias which are debilitating conditions that if left untreated prevent us to live a normal life.
It is not easy to face our fears but if we can approach to manage our fear methodically and take support from our loved ones as well as from experts, we can live our lives more productively. We can do what scares us the most but in a controlled and safe environment.
Related: 33 Lies Your Anxiety Tells You
Guilt, shame, or regret can be quite a silent killer. If someone fought with a parent right before they passed away, or if a husband cheats on his wife and loses her forever in the process, the feeling of guilt can eat them up from inside. And this shame and regret will have detrimental effects on their self-image. It will become difficult for them to speak their mind or forge another romantic relationship, respectively.
Although guilt indicates that the person has acknowledged their mistake and wants to make changes, unresolved guilt can mar the prospect of a healthy future. We must understand that as human beings we are bound to make mistakes and be compassionate with ourselves. We need to identify where we go wrong, make amends, and do better next time. If we fail we will try again.
The most common side effect of heartbreak is the emotional baggage of suspicion, paranoia, poor self-esteem, etc. Similarly, if we fail to get good grades at school, or fail to bag a lucrative job offer, sometimes we get into the thinking of either “we are not good enough” or “we are unlucky”. Obviously, both are self-limiting false narratives that we feed ourselves.
Success can never be guaranteed and our failure doesn’t have to be the ultimate reality. We need to be objective about our life and take the power back, rather than blaming ourselves or our stars. If we learn our lessons from a failure and try again, we can make significant progress in our career and personal lives.
How To Tell Whether You Have Emotional Baggage?
Some common signs of emotional baggage are:
- Emotional instability
- Frequent job-hopping
- Commitment issues
- Paranoia or anxiety
- Feeling of insecurity
- Always feeling dissatisfaction
It’s Good To Travel Light
Once we identify our emotional baggage we can take steps to unload these unwanted energies that keep us from flying high. If your partner or a family member has one or more of the above-mentioned types of emotional baggage, please help them unpack.