The Silent Treatment Vs. No Contact: What’s The Difference?

 / 

Silent Treatment No Contact Difference

There’s a whole lot of difference between the silent treatment and no contact. Silent treatment abuse can never be the same as the no contact rule. Read on to know more about the difference between silent treatment vs. no contact.

A lot of people tend to think that when we go ‘No Contact’ with a narcissist, we are behaving in a similar manner as they do when they give us the ‘Silent Treatment’. The two are so very, very different and are done for very different reasons. We need to look at what motivates someone to initiate the Silent Treatment or No contact.

The Silent Treatment

When a narcissist gives us the silent treatment they are doing so as a punishment, to invoke fear, obligation, guilt, or remorse. Remember that these disordered personalities are all about power and control. It is a means employed by these disordered individuals of showing their displeasure or disapproval.

Have you done something to deserve it? Probably not. Most of the time, the victim has no idea why they are being treated in this despicable manner. They have done nothing wrong.

Related: Are You Dating an Emotional Predator? – Signs of Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Psychopaths

Any attempt to resolve the situation by discussion is thwarted. Their contempt for you is blatantly obvious. The narcissist’s ego is very easily upset. It takes so very little to ignite their fuse. The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse and has been described as mental murder.

When you are on the receiving end of the silent treatment your very existence is not recognized by your abuser.

They will not speak to you, look at you, answer your phone calls or answer your texts. This makes a target feel that they are dead to their abuser. The narcissist knows exactly what they are doing, they know how this behavior is making you feel and yes, they may enjoy seeing you suffer.

Basically, they just do not care how they make you feel. In their sick and twisted mind, you have upset them and you deserve it.

silent treatment and no contact
the difference between the silent treatment and no contact

No Contact

When we go no contact with an abuser it is done to protect ourselves, to give us time to heal and recover, not to punish or hurt anyone. (When there are children involved, minimal contact is advised. Keep one line of communication open, preferably in writing.)

No contact rule has often been described as removing the drugs away from the addict or the alcohol from the alcoholic. The narcissist was our drug and when we need to become clean we have got to stay away from the drugs or the alcohol.

For many, this may last a lifetime. Some alcoholics may be alcohol-free for years and just one drink will see them back in their pit of despair.

Related: 6 Ways To Prepare When Going No Contact With A Narcissist

Likewise, with the narcissist, just one conversation, letting your guard down can be enough for you to let the narcissist back into your life. Make sure you know that you are strong enough before you have any dealings with the narcissist. For many that time will never come. So be it.

Losing the narcissist in your life is not a loss, it’s a gain. You are gaining freedom. You are gaining strength away from these dysfunctional individuals. You are getting your life back. You cannot stop them from treating people the way they do but you can stop them from treating you in this way.

Know that someone who truly loves you would never want to hurt you and would never want to see you cry or be the cause of those tears. Know when enough is enough. Know when to walk away.

Want to know more about the difference between silent treatment and no contact? Check this video out below!

silent treatment and no contact

Written by Anne McCrea
Originally appeared in Narcissist and Emotional Abuse 
Printed here with prior permission.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

How long should you allow the silent treatment to go on in a marriage after an argument?

The silent treatment after an argument ideally should not go on for more than an hour. It’s normal to want to decompress and cool down after a fight, but not for too long. Once both of you have calmed down, it’s important to sit and resolve the problem together, instead of ignoring each other.

What to do when someone gives you the silent treatment in a group setting?

If you are being subjected to silent treatment in a group, then the best thing you can do is ignore it for the time being. If you confront them in front of everyone, it might just make the situation uglier. Refrain from giving them a reaction, and if it bothers you too much, wait for the time when you are alone with them and then talk it out.

Will a covert narcissist come back after the silent treatment?

A covert narcissist will come back after the silent treatment, but only if they have something to gain from you. Narcissists, no matter what kind, will always pursue you if they feel they can get something from you.

The Silent Treatment and No Contact.... What Are The Differences?
The Silent Treatment And No Contact: What’s The Difference?
The Silent Treatment Vs No Contact p
The Silent Treatment And No Contact: What’s The Difference?
Silent Treatment No Contact Difference pin
The Silent Treatment pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Responses

Leave a Reply



Up Next

Brain Fog After Narcissistic Abuse? 8 Ways Narcissists Can Muddle Your Brain

Brain Fog After Narcissistic Abuse? Reasons Why It Happens

Have you ever heard of the term “brain fog”? Brain fog is like a maddening haze that seems to muddle your thoughts, makes you forget what you were saying, and has you searching for your clothes in the trash bin? Well, today we are going to talk about a specific sort of brain fog – brain fog after narcissistic abuse.

Imagine that you have just escaped from a toxic and abusive relationship with a narcissist. You are slowly picking up the pieces and trying to get your life back in order, but somehow you feel like your head is not in the right place. Everything still feels very odd and you still feel very lost.

Even though you are free from the clutches of your narcissistic ex, this bizarre mental fog just won’t lift. Let’s explore how narcissists cause brain fog, and the link between brain fog and narcissistic abuse.



Up Next

Toxic Bosses Unmasked: 20 Warning Signs to Watch For

Toxic Bosses Unmasked: Warning Signs to Watch For

Having a toxic boss can really take a toll on you mentally, and toxic bosses are seriously so horrible. This article is going to help you understand the traits of a toxic boss so that you know which behaviors are not normal and ethical. Read on to know more about the signs of a toxic boss or toxic bosses.

We hear about toxic bosses all the time, but how do you know when a boss is “toxic”? “Toxic” is, of course, a vague descriptor. Are bosses toxic when they throw fits and scream, or only when they break the law?

Or are they toxic when they are immoral or unethical? Are they toxic if they’re nice one day and nasty the next, or just when they make you uncomfortable, nervous, or sick? These are valid questions because these individuals are easy to identify when their behaviors are outrageous; but perhaps less so when their behavior



Up Next

How To Know If Your Mother Hates You: 8 Not-So-Subtle Signs

How To Know If Your Mother Hates You: Not-So-Subtle Signs

Have you ever found yourself wondering if your mother harbors some deep-seated resentment, or even hatred towards you? If you have, then I know that it’s a really tough pill to swallow. How can your mother hate you, and most importantly, how to know if your mother hates you?

Today, we’re diving straight into the realm of family dynamics, exploring the question “why does my mother hate me?”. We will try to understand the signs that give away her true feelings for you, and which may indicate if your mother’s love has taken a dark turn.

Let’s uncover 8 revealing clues that might just help you make sense of the complicated bond you share with your mom. Explore how to know if your mother hates you.



Up Next

How to Recognize and Counter Emotional Blackmail: 8 Techniques and 7 Signs

What Is Emotional Blackmail? Telltale Signs Revealed

Picture this: You’re sitting across from a friend, engrossed in conversation, when suddenly you feel the atmosphere change. Their tone becomes harsh, their eyes seem accusatory, and it feels like you’re trapped in an emotional minefield. Now, that’s what is emotional blackmail.

We’ve all experienced it at some point in our lives, whether it’s a toxic relationship, a manipulative friend, or even within our own families. But what is emotional blackmail exactly, and how to deal with emotional blackmail?

In this article, we are going to take a look into the world of emotional blackmail and try to understand each and every nuance. We will talk about the signs of emotional blackmail, the types of emotional blackmail and how to deal with emotional blackmail.

So, are you ready to do this?



Up Next

What Does Being Submissive Mean? 9 Warning Signs You Might Be A Meek, Submissive Woman

What Does Being Submissive Mean? Signs Of A Meek Woman

Ever wondered, “What does being submissive mean?” Well, let’s put it this way: it’s like constantly being in the backseat of your life’s car, letting others take the wheel while you navigate the road of existence.

For example, meet Jess. She’s that friend who’s always putting everyone else’s happiness and needs before her own, and she often finds herself getting involved in abusive and unhealthy relationships.

If you relate to Jess and the ways she lives life, then you might be in for a very rude reality check. Because this points to the realm of female submissiveness. Stick around as we uncover nine warning signs that scream, “Hey, you might be more like Jess than you think!”

Related:



Up Next

What Is Unintentional Gaslighting? The Surprising Ways You Might Be Gaslighting Without Knowing It

What Is Unintentional Gaslighting? How Good Intentions Can Go Awry

Ever found yourself questioning your own reality after interaction with someone you know? Unintentional gaslighting can sneak into conversations, leaving you feeling disoriented and invalidated, even when no harm is intended.

Accidental, unintended or unconscious gaslighting in relationships can make you doubt your own thoughts, feelings, or even sanity. Someone’s words or actions can make you feel uncertain, dazed & confused without even realizing it.

Gaslighting, a term derived from a movie titled “Gaslight,” refers to the act of manipulating someone into doubting their own experiences and perceptions. But what is unintentional gaslighting?

Let’s explore this lesser-known concept and shed light on



Up Next

10 Covert Signs Of A Psychopath: Don’t Be Fooled By Their “Nice” Behavior

Signs Of A Psychopath: Look Out For These Sneaky Signs!

Have you ever wondered what lurks beneath the surface of those seemingly nice, charming and friendly individuals? You know the type—the ones who effortlessly wear a smile, say all the right things but leave you feeling a bit unsettled and uneasy. Well, my friend, get ready because we’re about to discuss the signs of a psychopath.

Don’t worry, I’m not here to scare you, but let’s face it, we all love a good psychological puzzle, right? So, let’s uncover the sneaky signs of a psychopath, the signs that separate the “nice” from the truly dangerous.

Brace yourself, because what you’re about to discover might just blow your mind. Let’s explore more about people who are nice but psychopathic.

Related