The Sadness In Your Soul: The Reason For Your Emotional Ups and Downs


The Sadness In Your Soul

Experiencing a distinct sadness in your soul sometimes, even when everything is going ‘fine’ in your life, can be mentally painful.

Have you ever felt alone in a crowd?

Felt like a misfit even when the world seems to cheer you on?

Woken up early just before sunrise from a disturbing dream and been unable to shake off the emptiness?

Have you ever wondered about the pointlessness of your very existence, or what the point to all your striving is?

Do you get too close to people very quickly, and then get disappointed even quicker by them?

Do you feel inadequate no matter what your achievements are, and feel the need to keep proving yourself over and over?

Do you feel angry, sad, and scared all at the same time and take it out on those closest to you? And then hate yourself for being that way…?

Stop. Inhale. Exhale… deeply.

And know you’re not alone.

There are many others who feel just like you, and the reason for your emotional ups and downs may be, unsurprisingly, buried deep in your childhood.

The Child Within

Freud said that all our personalities are shaped by the time we are four years.

Which leaves an awful weight of responsibility in the hands of parents.

Who, let’s face it, is nowhere near perfect, and are shaped by their own experiences, cultures, thoughts, and influences… many of which are not conducive to positive child-rearing.

And the little helpless child is thus often neglected or becomes a social accessory or a base to build up parental dreams…

Related: Why Healing your Inner Child is Crucial for Self-Growth

All of it leaving the defenseless child, who is without recourse to any other reference points or support, scarred and traumatized, and who then internalizes all this pain.

From late stage bed-wetting and thumb sucking to self-harm and suicide, the spectrum of the suffering of the child within can be broad and extreme.

The Adult Now

Sadness In Your Soul
Sadness In Your Soul

Abused children eventually grow up and eventually leave home, but they carry that internalized pain around bandit expresses it in a variety of toxic ways.

They will become attention-seekers, thrill-seekers, hedonistic at one end of the spectrum, or they may be introverted, withdrawn and afraid at the other end of it.

Some may jump from one end of the spectrum to the other depending on the situation. But all of them will be hurting deep inside, often without even realizing it.

The uncomfortable feelings from childhood have been normalized. And yet they know, somehow, just somehow, that they are not quite right within themselves as they lock up the suffering child into a cycle of silence and pain.

The Voice Within

Sadness In Your Soul
Sadness In Your Soul

There’s a part of every human that just knows right from wrong. And while denial is a much more com­­­fortable state to live in, one can’t help but tune into that persistent nagging voice inside us.

That voice which tells us perhaps our parents were/are not all they are cracked up to be.

That the ‘happy families routine’ we strive to create with them somehow always goes awry.

And that friends, no matter how loving, don’t fill that empty space in our hearts.

Related: 8 Ways Reparenting Yourself Can Help Heal Your Inner Child

As children, it’s impossible not to love our parents, or want validation from them, and as adults, we can waste an entire lifetime trying to give ourselves the childhood we never had.

And this happens by the simple act of never acknowledging that we had it bad as a young child.

This lack of acceptance keeps us imprisoned in the cage of pain that was built for us years ago when we were unable to build anything for ourselves.

The Actions Now

Sadness In Your Soul

But we CAN build for ourselves now. That’s the beauty of being an adult. So stop. Inhale. Exhale. Deeply. And recognize that much as we may love our parents, they are, ultimately,­­ just like us.

Flawed and prone to terrible mistakes. The worst one of which was not loving us the way we wanted and so desperately needed. Again, there’s a spectrum.

The odd spank, the harsh word, the denied request, or the scolding… these can be forgotten.

But if one, or both, of our parents, put their needs before yours, were critical in the extreme, neglectful of our desires and talents, violent or otherwise abusive… then we are left feeling all those awful feelings we described in the beginning.

And that is no way to live life.

Changing your pain to peace will be a life-long process, especially if there were narcissistic influences within the family set-up.

And a little soul-searching will help you see that there is no reason to tolerate abuse just because it comes from family members.

One of the worst things to happen to society everywhere is the assumption that family should be loved just because they are family.

This is a complete fallacy for simple rules of decent human conduct that would mean they need to earn our love and respect, just like everyone else has to, and vice-versa.

So! Take stock and acknowledge the child within.

He or she is begging to be heard over the thunder of childhood abuse and neglect. Take responsibility and give that child the help he or she deserves.

Be it talking your experiences through with a spouse, or a friend, or a therapist… even your parents if you think they will listen and hear you out.

Related: How to Heal Your Inner Child That Is Blocking You For Love

Though in most cases of severe neglect it is unlikely that the parent will have the self-awareness to offer closure to a child, and that just opens the wound further; so sometimes walking away bravely may be your only option.

But closure can happen, and resolution will be found, but the first step is acknowledging the root of your hurt, and the sadness in your soul – that those who were charged with your care and emotional well-being failed you in a very significant way.

The realization will help you understand that even if you can’t change the history of your inner child, you can do a lot for the future adult and you can truly make the sadness in your soul­­­ a thing of the past.

The Sadness In Your Soul  pin

— Share —

— About the Author —


  1. talia Avatar

    can i borrow the picture?

Up Next

5 Powerful Benefits of Imaginative Thinking

Imaginative Thinking: Powerful Benefits Of Imagination

The benefits of imaginative thinking are unending to be honest. However, in this article we are going to explore five of the most interesting and powerful benefits of imagination and imaginative thinking.


Imagination is a fundamental aspect of human life.

Imagination enables one to look beyond the world as it is.

Imagination helps create different lenses through which to see the world.


Up Next

What Kind Of Angry Are You? The 4 Types Of Anger

The Types Of Anger: What Kind Of An Angry Person Are You?

Everyone gets angry at some point, and anger is probably one of the most common emotions we feel. But did you know there are different types of anger, namely, 4 types of anger? This article is going to talk about the different types of anger and how they look like. So, what is your anger style? Let’s find out!

Anger may rear its emotional head in irritation and annoyance, self-pity and withdrawal, envy and resentment, or vengeance and violence. Our anger may fill the room with dominance or veil itself in anxiety or avoidance.

Those who internalize anger may question whether they have the right to be angry and avoid direct confrontation. They stuff their anger down to prevent offending, being disliked, or losing control.

Those who externalize anger resort to blaming, shaming, and engage i

Up Next

10 Signs You Are Wise Beyond Your Years

Signs You Are Wise Beyond Your Years

Are you often told by close ones that you’re an old soul? You know, the ones who always have a nugget of wisdom to drop, even though you never try too hard to portray yourself as intelligent? If so, you might just be wise beyond your years.

In a world where we often correlate age with experience, there are quite a few people who possess an innate depth of understanding that defies their age. It’s like they know more than they should, and they have an otherworldly aura to them.

So, if you’ve ever been told you’re an old soul trapped in a young body or if you just have a knack for offering sage advice, you’ve come to the right place, my friend. This article is going to look at the signs you are wise beyond your years.

Up Next

50+ Deep Self Reflection Questions For Personal Growth

Deep Self Reflection Questions For Personal Growth

Are you ready for some deep self reflection about growth? Well, you’ve come to the right place! Self reflection questions are like little nuggets of wisdom that can help you uncover and understand your true self, aid in your personal growth, and make sense of this crazy journey called life.

Whether you’re looking to understand yourself more deeply, set new goals, or simply gain clarity, these self reflection questions are going to serve as your trusty companions. So grab a cozy spot, maybe a cup of tea, and get ready to dive into the depths of your mind, and do some much-needed self reflection about growth.

Related: 40 Deep Questions To Ask I

Up Next

Pure Soul Meaning: 12 Signs Of A Pure Soul That You Absolutely Need To Know About

Pure Soul Meaning And Signs Of A Person With Pure Soul

Have you ever met someone who is truly and genuinely a good person? Someone who is kind, compassionate, calm, and loves people unconditionally? Then you’ve just met a “pure soul.” But what is pure soul meaning?

People who have a pure soul often possess a certain quality that sets them apart from the rest, captivating us with their genuine kindness and warmth. Their presence seems to illuminate the room and touch the hearts of those around them. But what does it truly mean to have a pure soul? 

Today, we embark on a captivating journey to unravel the depths of its meaning. Join us as we explore the signs and characteristics that define these remarkable beings.

What is a Pure Soul?

Up Next

12 Signs Of A High Vibration Person And How To Raise Your Vibrations

The Vibe Tribe: Signs Of A High Vibration Person

Ever met someone who effortlessly radiates positivity? Someone who always attracts good things easily? Someone who makes you smile, uplifts, and inspires you no matter the circumstance? Then you have just met a high vibration person. But what exactly sets these individuals apart? Let’s explore the signs of a high vibration person.

Today, we will find out what is a high vibration person, delve into the signs that indicate a high vibration, and discover how to raise your vibrations effectively. So, let’s embark on this journey of self-discovery and learn how to align ourselves with a higher frequency of positivity and abundance.

What is a High Vibration Person?

Before we dive into the signs of a high vibration pe

Up Next

How To Stop A Racing Mind: 7 Techniques For Mastering Mental Turbulence

How To Stop A Racing Mind: Ways To Tame A Racing Mind

Ever found yourself lying in bed, desperately trying to sleep after a long, tiring day, but your mind refuses to do so? It feels like your mind is racing like a Formula 1 car on caffeine. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there! That relentless stream of thoughts can feel overwhelming, leaving you feeling restless and exhausted. So, how to stop a racing mind?

In this article, we’ll talk about the meaning of racing thoughts and how to calm a busy mind. Let’s explore the seven best ways to stop your mind from racing, and discover the blissful art of finding your inner calm amidst all the chaos.

First, let’s talk about the meaning of racing thoughts.