How to heal your inner child that can block you for love and opening up in the relationship
Your inner child is ALWAYS inside of you. You carry it around wherever you go because he or she lives in your heart.
When the inner child is abandoned by its father or mother, discouraged, or not ‘acknowledged’ by parents when you were young. But also cheated on or rejected by a loved one… Then what happens?
What does the inner child do?
The inner child says: ‘I will shield myself from feeling anything for anyone. I do NOT want a serious, loving relationship because loving someone means getting abandoned or turned down. Caring for somebody will cause me pain, depression, and even illness.
Of course, you’ll keep on living and you‘ll move on, but your inner child will be there forever, protecting you from new possible heartbreak.
What happens when you connect, meet, see (even though the internet) a possible long-term partner?
The inner child (tarot card 9 of wands) awakens (as a huge force of energy), already in fear of losing that person in the future. Will she leave me for another man? Will she turn me down, when my heart is wide open for her? Will she be mean, arrogant or bitchy? Will she get ill or maybe even die? Your inner child has become so scared of all you’ve already gone through, that the slightest form of affection for anyone can trigger its alarms. It has nothing to do with your new crush, by the way, this new woman( could well be the love of your life!
How does this trigger point works?
The energy can take over your whole system. It is so strong in protecting you from any more harm, that this can show up in your body functions, but also behavior and sleep. When it stands up, all of a sudden, it can look like this:
– Heart problems ‘out of nowhere’
– The strong feeling of ‘ending this now’- whatever it is.
– Feeling very nervous, without any reason
– Crying out of nowhere, and feeling scared and lost
– The person that comes near you, has to be ‘ removed at once’.
– You cannot sleep anymore, thr is something ‘seriously wrong’
– You start drinking/smoking or any other habit to escape from ‘ something’ that feels like an enormous danger. You want to ‘ get away’
– You need to be alone and protect yourself, you feel like running away now.
– It feels like an ‘ alarm-situation’
What can I do?
Meditate. Lay a hand on your heart and see the child (you as a young boy/girl) in front of you. Ask why it is in so much fear. Hold it when it cries. Tell it this: ‘I am now grown up. I will remain to protect and comfort you. I DO want to be open to this new love. I know that what you‘re doing is out of love for me. Thank you. ‘
‘But I’m an adult now, and I choose to connect with this person. Don’t be afraid anymore, trust me…’ Put the inner child back in your heart. Give it some toys to play with, and let it be comfortable. You must do this every day when it is really afraid of loving again….’
Note: The first encounter with your inner child can be very emotional. She or he could’ve been in a dark corner alone and crying for decades. Just pick it up and comfort it, as you are Grown Up Now. Share emotions, cuddle it and make sure it understands that the situation is going to change Now. You’ll keep on loving it, but you’ll be open for new love at the same time.
See in the child’s eyes. Concentrate on it, for a long time. Feel how it looks like, how it feels like, how it acts. It’s scared, confused, insecure and unsafe. How old is your child? See how it holds you back from change, how it prevents you to become emotionally grown-up. See how it stops you from getting to your true feelings. You’re capable of holding this child, comforting it. Whisper for example, I’m <<name>> and I’m <<age>> years old. I swear to protect you from everything that might harm you. We can do anything, be anywhere and love anyone. It’s okay to have feelings. I’ve seen you, and I’ll hold you. Let’s change. I’ve already changed. I see your fears and I understand them. I see the pain you’ve experienced in the past. Tell it everything you want it to know and hug it. You’re an adult now, and you can count on yourself. You’re able to protect yourself, love yourself and leave.
Embrace your inner child and let it play instead of being scared.