The Narcissist’s Apology: Sorry, Not Sorry

The Narcissist’s Apology Sorry, Not Sorry

Ever been hoovered back into the cycle of abuse because of a narcissist’s apology?

You are not alone. Most of us tend to think that they couldn’t be pathologically narcissistic if they’re apologizing, right? It’s just not something that narcissists do. Surely this time, things will change…

Think again gorgeous one.

It isn’t entirely accurate that a narc will never utter those words. Sure, it is a rare thing, and for many this simple phrase of contrition is completely absent from their vocabulary.

BUT, there are also many who do apologize…in the sense that these words will, on occasion, fall from their lips.

The issue isn’t there capacity to vocalize the utterance though. It’s that the intent differs in every possible way from one delivered with sincerity.

Whilst you would prefer to a) receive an apology that is genuine, and b) ultimately be in a relationship with an emotionally healthy person, there is a silver lining to the fauxpology…

Learning to recognize the narcissist’s sorry/not sorry for what it is, means you are also confronting the reality that they are narcissistic.

Hold fast to this truth. Refuse to be hoovered back in with yet another fauxpology. Break the cycle of abuse and set yourself free instead.


An apology from the heart

Let’s start by defining the anatomy of an apology from those who have a heart.

As humans, we falter, we err, we make mistakes.

In any relationship, there will be times when these blunders impact on those we care for.

Inevitably, we hurt others.

Because we care for those we choose to share our lives with, hurting others, in a sense hurts ourselves.

We feel saddened, disappointed in ourselves, perhaps even angry that we have let ourselves and others down.

Guilt and remorse, as well as wanting to rectify how we have wronged our loved one, drives us to fix the hurt.

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Written by Maggie McGee
Originally appeared on

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The Narcissist’s Apology Sorry, Not Sorry

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