Can you fix a toxic relationship?
To be honest, it depends. It depends on the level of toxicity in your relationship. It depends on you and your partner. It depends on how much you and your partner love each other. How much you want to make it work. There are no shortcuts or magic pills. Love is hard work. Relationships are complicated. And most of the time it takes a lot of care, awareness, commitment, time & effort to maintain a healthy relationship.
So your romantic relationship has turned toxic and you don’t know what to do about it. Great! But the fact that you are here reading this and looking for ways to heal your relationship means there’s still a chance. There’s still hope. You can still try to make things better. In fact, you can make things better than before. Yes, you can. if you want to know how to fix a toxic relationship, then let me tell you there are ways that you can try. But before you get started, there are certain things you need to understand.
Why do relationships turn toxic?
There are a lot of reasons why a relationship can become toxic. There is no one-size-fits-all answer here. Our relationships are as unique as we are. Sometimes we attract the wrong person like falling in love with a narcissist, while other times we just fall out of love. You can feel ignored, abandoned or a lack of emotional connection or your partner may become needy and clingy or even controlling and dominating.
Relationships are tricky. We may want to build a closer connection with our partner while they may want to become more independent. There are many differences in opinions that can make a relationship sour and toxic. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you stop loving each other. And that is where hope comes in. Whether you want to grow as a couple by facing difficulties or if you want to call it quits and part ways depends on both the partners. It is up to you to decide if you want to point fingers or hold hands.
However, if your toxic relationship leads to physical, emotional or verbal abuse and psychological manipulation, then it is better to simply walk away and be single. Do not choose to be a victim and live a lie. There is a subtle difference between being in an unhealthy relationship and an abusive one. This is a decision you need to make and it is a very important one. If you have been abused or manipulated, simply walk away. Sometimes it’s better to let something go than to stay and suffer.
Is it a toxic relationship or just a bad phase?
Let’s face it, in the real world there is no ‘happily ever after’. No relationship is without turmoil. Despite what Hollywood romcoms might have you believe, sooner or later you will face challenges in your relationship that will make you wonder what the heck went wrong? But that’s natural. That’s how we grow and build stronger and more intimate bonds. We work through it and help each other become a better person.
We all have a rough patch in our relationships. It makes us question our love, our partner and even ourselves. We feel like we are not being appreciated, wanted or loved. We feel like that it might be coming to an end. That’s when we ask ourselves the most important question: is it worth fighting for? Leaving a bad relationship is as difficult as fixing a meaningful one.
But how do you know if you are having temporary problems or if your relationship has turned toxic? If you are arguing with each other due to external factors like work pressure and stress, then it may simply be a rough patch. But if your arguments are based on differences in values and start believing that treating each other poorly is normal, then you need to stand up and take notice. In a toxic relationship, you feel drained, helpless and suffocated. If you feel disrespected and a lack of communication, then you need to realize that toxicity has creeped in.
Here are some warning signs that you are in a toxic relationship:
- Either you or your partner feel contempt
- One of the partners is obsessed with the other
- Use of mean words and rude behavior leading to verbal abuse
- One of the partners act overly possessive & controlling
- Your partner acts cold and caring at the same time
Whether it is just a rough patch or a toxic relationship, if you and your partner have given up on each other, if you have stopped caring for one another, then no amount tips on how to fix a toxic relationship will help you heal what’s broken. However, if you feel that your partner still loves you, there is a good chance that things might just workout.
Healing a toxic relationship
Once you have identified your relationship as a toxic relationship, you can start taking action to heal it leading to a more loving relationship.