7 Signs You May Still Be Codependent And How To Change This Fast


Now I know, I was suffering from my broken inner child parts which didn’t believe I could survive on my own. When he hurt me, I would gravitate to him more, trying to regulate his behavior so that I could be safe.

As children we were defenseless but as adults, we aren’t.

I promise you with all of my heart, by letting go, and turning inside to shift all of the reasons why you are unconsciously still attached, you will be able to move on, be the adult to yourself that you can be, and heal up into your own safety, sanity and wellbeing.

7 Signs You May Still Be Codependent And How To Change This Fast
7 Signs You May Still Be Codependent And How To Change This Fast

#6. Trying To Fix And Change Other People

The classic sign of codependency is trying to fix and change other people who don’t have the capacity to be healthy and safe for you – to try to be healthy and safe.

If people don’t have the capacity or desire to be kind, honest, and committed to teamwork, solution-building, and working on their own character and integrity, trying to fix and change them so that you can feel better will backfire badly.

By trying to fruitlessly control these people YOU become more out of control. The more you stay and lecture and prescribe, try to hold them accountable, and force repentance, reform, and amends from them, the more you will be brutally abused.

The only person you can fix and change is yourself! This is where your True Self and True Life and power is generated from.

Related: Why You Can’t Properly Love Her if You’re Afraid to Lose Her

#7. Not Allowing Others To Be Themselves

Being codependent is not about love. Please let me explain.

You are trying to change someone against their will and capacity to be who YOU want them to be so YOU feel happy. That’s not loving.

Imagine if you met a lovely genuine person who didn’t like healthy eating or exercise or socializing, yet these were important values for you.

You trying to get them off the couch to stop watching TV against their will is controlling – no matter how much you believe it’s good for them! Either you have to live outside your values and spend more time with them in front of the TV, or they have to start doing things they don’t want to do to please you.

Can you see where this is going? A power struggle of resentment and pain! Of course, you would both be better suited to part ways and seek people who match your respective values.

That is what demonstrates, “I love you enough to respect your choices and values, just as I do mine. Therefore, I set you and me free.”

That is TRUE love!

Now let’s look at abusive people. They don’t share your values of kindness, care, integrity, teamwork, and solution-building. “Love” is not forcing them to “get” your values against their will. Rather, it’s control.

Letting go and allowing others to be themselves is the only way to set yourself free, and it is the most powerful way of all to heal from codependency. Absolutely this is easier said than done and takes dedicated and specific inner healing!

Rating Your Codependencies

It is such a relief to share our inner selves with each other! Please know codependency is a symptom of mankind – we all have it to varying degrees. So much guilt and shame can come with these tendencies. That is why it is so refreshing and healing to share, dissolving the “icky feelings” around our codependent tendencies, and then really dedicate to healing, as a powerful Tribe together.

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Melanie Tonia Evans

Melanie Tonia Evans is a global narcissistic abuse recovery expert and the creator of the Quanta Freedom Healing method and The Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP). Melanie’s leading-edge healing methods have helped thousands of people make astounding full recoveries from toxic relationship abuse. Her work has now touched the lives of over 15 million people from more than 100 countries worldwide and her abuse recovery system is recommended by doctors, psychologists, therapists, and renowned relationship experts from all over the world. Melanie’s work is revolutionizing the old Model of Survivor Recovery to one of Thriver status. The free content Melanie offers on abuse recovery reaches close to 7 million people monthly on her website and across her numerous social media platforms and her reach continues to grow exponentially. In 2018, Melanie released her first book, You Can Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse - The #1 System for Recovering from Toxic Relationships which became an Amazon bestseller in days, and is now being translated into multiple languages. Free 16 Day Recovery Course – A Roadmap To Getting Clarity, Relief and Your Life Back On TrackView Author posts