Signs Of Emotional Attraction: 10 FAQs To Find Out If You’re Emotionally Attracted To Someone
Have you ever met someone and felt instantly connected to them? Emotional attraction can often make us drawn to certain individuals without being physically attracted to them. Understanding the signs of emotional attraction can help you develop chemistry & build a deep relationship.
What is the emotional attraction?
Have you ever felt that you know someone for a long time even when you met them the first time? That special kind of feeling is emotional attraction. When you feel attracted to someone’s soul instead of their physical body, you become emotionally attracted to them. Their mind and spirit draw you towards them and you feel an undeniably strong chemistry. Emotional attraction often leads to deep meaningful relationships that can be both romantic and non-romantic.
Emotional attraction is “being captivated by someone’s heart, mind, or humor instead of their physical appeal,” explain authors Cindy Lamothe and Janet Brito, Ph.D., LCSW, CST on a post in Healthline. It is different from physical attraction as it is a “deeper type of attraction” that makes you feel closely connected to someone for a long time.
Social/Personality Psychology experts Jeremy Nicholson M.S.W., Ph.D. explains that emotional or psychological attractiveness is “an important influence in relationships, especially long-term ones.” He adds “These features are more motivating for longer-term and emotionally intimate connections.”
Identifying the signs of emotional attraction can enable you to develop a more intimate and much deeper bond in your romantic relationship as well. Although physical attraction is important, emotional attraction leads to meaningful and lasting relationships. It is an undetectable force that connects your souls together.
Relationship expert Amica Graber explains “Emotional attraction is a spirit of kinship. You spend time together, you can have conversations all night long, you find yourself engaging in funny text banter all day.” she adds “When you’re in a relationship just based on physical attraction, you may feel unsure as to how they really feel beyond the bedroom. Emotional attraction feels a lot more like friendship, with a little extra electricity.”
Emotional attraction strengthens relationships
Recognizing the signs of emotional attraction can not only help you find the perfect romantic partner, but it can also lead to some great friendships. Emotional attraction allows us to connect with someone, be honest and open with them and share our insecurities. This forms the ground for intimacy in a relationship, whether with your partner or your friend. Carrie Krawiec, LMFT says “It’s important because feeling safe, comfortable, accepted, and understood as a person is the root of attachment, connection, and intimacy.”
Licensed psychotherapist Rachel Perlstein believes that emotional attraction makes us feel heard and validated. She says “This emotional attraction really reflects this sometimes-instant ability to relate on a different level and connect, to feel understood and cared about.”
Why emotional attraction is important
According to the BBC, it takes around 90 seconds to 4 minutes for you to decide if you are attracted to someone. Although physical attraction is important, experts believe that emotional attraction is even more important for successful, long term relationships. In an article published in Bustle, relationship expert Emily Mendez, M.S. EdS says “All successful romantic relationships need both emotional and physical attraction.” However, physical attraction may change with time, but emotional attraction creates lifelong relationships, says Mendez.
Mental health counselor Lily Ewing explains emotional attraction is more powerful than physical attraction as it enables us to be attracted to someone’s personality, intelligence, sense of humor & how they care for others. She adds that it is “also more important in the long run of a relationship and can create a stronger connection than physical attraction alone.”
A 2018 study by T. J. Wade and Justin Mogilski found that emotional attraction and accessibility is more important for a relationship than physical attraction and sexual accessibility. The study revealed that women are more likely to break up with a partner due to the lack of emotional attraction and accessibility. The research paper stated “Prior research examining mate expulsion indicates that women are more likely to expel a mate due to deficits in emotional access while men are more likely to expel a mate due to deficits in sexual access… However, regardless of sex, emotional inaccessibility was more likely to produce mate expulsion.”
The study added “In deciding whether to terminate a romantic relationship, women prioritized a partner’s emotional accessibility relative to his sexual accessibility.” As women have a higher parental investment need than men, “women may have a lower threshold for a partner’s emotional inaccessibility insofar as partner’s in-pair commitment enhanced offspring investment, particularly for long-term mating.” The study also found that the lack of emotional access can also lead to infidelity in relationships.
FAQs and signs of emotional attraction
So how can you know if you are emotionally attracted to someone? Most of the time, you will just know if you are drawn to someone for their intellect, their spirit and their dreams, while at other times it may be a little more difficult to spot the signs of emotional attraction.
Here are some questions you need to ask yourself to identify the signs of emotional attraction:
1. Do you give your undivided attention to them?
If you are fully present and aware when you are with them, then it’s one of the signs of emotional attraction. When we have an emotional connection with someone, we are not distracted by anything, like our phones, and offer them our undivided attention. Licensed counselor Julie Williamson explains “Being present and fully attuned to what the person you’re interested in is saying can communicate genuine care and interest.”