Relationships are not a simple matter of who likes whom.
There are so many nuanced layers that go into making a relationship work, that sometimes even an expert cannot put a name on every single one of them.
There is no set formula. No two people are alike, nor are two relationships like each other. Even you as a person are not the same in any two relationships you had in the past. The high school version of you is different than the college version and so on. Being human, we are constantly changing and so are our expectations as well as experiences in a relationship.
All this might make you believe that love is a complex code which can never be cracked. But that’s not what we are suggesting here. What is of importance here is that every relationship in your life would be different from the previous one and you need to learn from every single one of them. When you learn from your mistakes, you will be able to invest better in a new relationship.
Remember, no relationship can survive on the virtue of physical attraction alone.
You get a crush on someone who appeals to your eyes. That isn’t enough to build a life with them. You need to be emotionally attracted to them as well. Emotions bridge the gap when physical beauty fades away. And this is why growing emotionally is so important for healthy relationships. Two people might attract each other because of their good looks or mutual interests, but their emotional compatibility pretty much decides how the relationship would progress.
And even though there is no set formula, the following are signs of healthy emotional compatibility in a woman. And knowingly or not, men are attracted to these traits:
We, as humans are flawed. We need someone who is willing to overlook these flaws or help us work on them. Life is not easy. Every single day we go through a plethora of action-reaction scenarios, emotions, and frustrations. At the end of it, we need someone who’d understand us. Someone who is patient and willing to read between the lines, because she cares. It is easy for spouses to jump to conclusions especially with regards to words which were said. But one needs to think about the person’s mental condition before reacting on the words occurred. Patience in such situations goes a long way in ensuring a happy relationship.
Sadly in today’s word with all the airbrushed photos and advertisements which keep telling women how they aren’t perfect, it is quite rare to know a woman who is really confident in her own skin. And a woman who knows that, that she’s beautiful and sexy and her man doesn’t really notice if she’s put on a little weight during the holidays- is attractive as hell. Men actually care about a woman’s personality and nature and are not always stuck on the figure she has. A woman who has complete confidence in her body is more attractive than a Playboy centerfold.
3. Being able to listen
It is always assumed that a man has to be a good listener for his woman, but it works the other way round too. We all know how difficult it is for men to be expressive. They are conditioned by the society to suck it in and keep their feelings to themselves. This invisible pressure can be quite hard to overcome. And so when they finally do it, they need someone who’d hear them out completely. A woman who has a tendency to jump to conclusions or butt in with her own thoughts is not helping in her man’s struggles.
The world is a big bad place, no doubt about that. But do you choose to see everything that could go wrong, or do you still believe in marching on, hoping for the best? Your outlook can have a huge impact not just on your own life, but your partner’s as well. Sometimes we get so lost in looking at the bleak and the miserable that we need an extra hand in turning our eyes towards the positive.
5. Living in the now
We all think about the past and worry about the future. And somewhere in between, we forget to live in the present. In a relationship, it is even more important that one does not hanker too much about their past. Talking a lot about one’s ex, always complaining about difficult and abusive situations you had to face while growing up is not a sign of an emotionally balanced individual. There is a difference between telling someone about your past, and being obsessed with it to the point that you distance your current partner. It is wise to learn from the past. But after that, you need to move on. Living in the past can effectively ruin your present.
Romantic partners are one of the few people we share our deepest, darkest secrets with. When your partner tells you something really close to them, they have done it with complete faith in you. If you tell their secret to your close friends, parents or any other person in your life, you are betraying the trust of your partner. Also, using their secrets against them, either while you are fighting or a similar situation is a very negative trait. Only those who can respect each other’s privacy and secrets can work together as partners in the long run.
Ladies, just accept this- your man might be completely clueless about what’s going on in your mind. But, it doesn’t translate into him not caring about it. No relationship can survive without communication and in most of them, the onus of this duty falls on the shoulder of the woman. So if you need/expect something from your man- tell him, because he might not have any idea at all. And the opposite is true as well. Don’t assume you know what your man is thinking. Ask him.
8. Being able to appreciate
As we said, we cannot be perfect. But we need someone who appreciates our efforts to be so. It is wrong for either of the partner to expect divine perfection from the other. Don’t ever compare your man to someone else. Appreciate the things they do to make your life easier. Not only will it be good for your relationship, it will also give them a positive boost to redouble their efforts. Acknowledgement can do wonders.
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