Want to know more about how manipulation works? Read How A Narcissist Plays You And How Their Cycle Of Abuse Works
Sense of Entitlement Symptoms
By now you may be wondering: do I have a sense of entitlement? Like anything in life, there is a spectrum, and while you may not be a full-blown narcissist or have a borderline personality disorder, you may exhibit a certain level of selfishness that makes other people’s lives hard. If you have a sense of entitlement, symptoms include the following:
1. You impose unrealistic demands on your family, children, friends, acquaintances, lovers, employees, and/or employers.
2. You tend to feel sorry for yourself if things don’t work out the way you wanted (self-pity) and openly advertise this in melodramatic, attention-seeking ways.
3. People have called you a “bully”, “manipulative”, “ruthless”, “egotistical”, “vain”, or a “liar”.
4. You believe that you deserve happiness and go to great, sometimes extreme lengths to ensure that happens, often at the expense of others.
5. You punish people when they don’t do what you want either passively (e.g. silent treatment, gossiping, spreading rumors) or aggressively (e.g. shouting, verbally/physically abusing).
6. In order to “succeed” in life, you believe in going to any lengths.
7. You constantly see other people as competition or “threats”.
8. You tend to exhibit many double-standards in the way you behave/interact with other people, e.g. I can be late and forget my duties and commitments, but YOU can’t; I can treat myself, but YOU can’t; I can abuse or disrespect you, but YOU can’t to ME.
Want to know more about how entitlement looks? Read Manipulation Of The Charming Narcissist
9. You tend to take more than give in friendships and relationships.
10. You tend to look out for yourself, your needs and desires more than anyone else almost 100% of the time.
11. You have a hard time negotiating or compromising.
12. You have a deep-seated conviction that you have priority and should always come first, even at the expense of stepping on others.
13. People always seem to be offended or upset by what you do or say.
14. You generally think that you are better, or more important, than other people and other people should see this and unquestioningly respect you.
15. You crave admiration and adoration.
16. You like to assert your dominance or superiority over other people, finding it second nature.
It’s important to remember that we all suffer from personality flaws. While some of us are stingy or deeply insecure, others of us have sense of entitlement complexes. If you tend to show this narcissistic trait, there are many ways to slowly work through it to improve the quality of your life, and the lives of others. Examples include:
- Developing more Self-Awareness. Without being aware of what you think, feel and do, you won’t be able to progress very far.
- Identifying your inner expectations about the world, as well as deep-seated beliefs and ideals. Often a sense of entitlement stems from unhealthy or unrealistic perceptions that you may not even be aware of.
- Work to accept life as it is without imposing your beliefs, ideals or expectations. This includes practicing forgiveness, and allowing people to be the way they are naturally.
- Concentrate on developing compassion and empathy. Asking “how does this affect others?”, “how does he/she feel right now?”, “how would I feel if I was her/him?” helps to broaden the mind, and open it to new, and beneficial, ways of thinking.
- Celebrate with other people, and celebrate other people. Pay attention to the happiness and joy of others: happiness shared is happiness multiplied. Also, being thankful for the people in your life allows you to place more importance in them, seeing how truly special they are.
- Slowly work on cultivating true Self-Love, not the malignant kind.
Change won’t come overnight, but with dedication and will power your life can take a permanent turn for the better.