7 Ways To Cope With People Who Want To Bring You Down

 / 

Ways to Cope With People

Do you feel discouraged by other’s negativity? Does your happiness trigger negative emotions in some people? What are the best ways to respond to people who bring you down and threaten your happiness?

“Ignore people who threaten your joy. Literally, ignore them. Say nothing. Don’t invite any parts of them into your space.” – Alex Elle

For every person who seeks happiness, there is one who denies that it even exists. The very word triggers people, both on the gut level and the high plains of philosophy. As with every trigger subject, opinions form and rigidify quickly to a concrete wall.

This post does not attempt to break through anyone’s wall but instead offers support to those who feel discouraged by others’ negativity. It is hard enough to gain clarity about a complex matter. Then, in a variety of ways and for multiple reasons, come the people who trash your happiness.

Let’s find out how you could respond to some of them:

7 Ways To Respond to people who bring you down

1. Misery seeks company.

Should all members of your closest circle wish you happiness even when it escapes them, skip to the next point? For the rest of us, remember that rivalry is common, manifesting in feelings of annoyance, unreasonable demands, and incessant judgments.

The envious person does not usually think of herself as envious, but might roll her eyes when you laugh, sing, whistle, or share a success. Feeling left behind, a brother or colleague might change the subject or point out the negative every time you mention anything positive.

The possibilities for rivalry are endless and for you to figure out. Once you are aware, your response will have to start internally and may have to remain there.

Competitiveness is part of life. Nothing matters more than accepting the way things are. Let go and forgive. Think to yourself, “It is right and good to be happy, even when others have a hard time being happy themselves. I will be sensitive to their pain, but it will not stunt my growth. I will not hide my light under the bushel.”

Stay Away From Negative People

Read How to Stay Positive around Negative People 

2. Projection.

Another rather primitive reaction to happiness is projection. Many civilized people—removed from nature and community, sedentary, sleep-deprived, intoxicated with simple carbohydrates—are unhappy. Depression and addiction to painkillers are on the rise. Many feel lonely. We see what we are.

While a person might bring forth a seemingly intellectual argument (“Happiness does not exist because of A, B, and C”), he might be informed by a dark cloud that doubts the existence of the sky. Instead of thinking, “My life is hard, and I feel doomed,” he might generalize and think that life is always hard, and that the whole human race, if not the entire universe, is doomed. Projections are, by definition, unconscious. It might be enough for you to know this to move on and embrace life.

Sometimes it is appropriate to point out the obvious and say, “Yes, life can be really tough, and many are doomed.” This true statement does two things: give relief to the unhappy person and create distance for you to become untangled from his hardship. The ability to relate constructively to others is the most important ingredient to happiness (see “The Ten Building Blocks of Connections” in A Unified Theory of Happiness). But nobody is served when you, too, feel doomed. If you take on the unhappy person’s depressed mood, you only add to the darkness in the world.

Read 10 Ways To Deal With Toxic People Who Spread Negativity 

3. Repetition, repetition, repetition.

Even though your understanding of happiness is likely based on personal, complex learning, you will be subjected to tired expressions. For example, anybody remotely interested in the subject knows that happiness is not perpetually feeling good, but includes hard work, acceptance of failure, and sadness.

Discomfort, however, buffered by perspective, is part of a fully engaged life. Thoughts like these do not stop the “serious” critic, who must educate you. Be prepared to endure endlessly repeated “do-not-chase-the-rainbow” quotes. Keep in mind that copying others is a major method of learning, for all of us.

People prefer this method over thinking things through themselves. The response here must be simply: Patience, patience, patience.

4. “Aim at contentment, not happiness.”

Happiness does not exist without having the ability to content oneself within the present moment, but contentment can do without. A happy person does not only smile at what is; she occasionally laughs her head off and emotes, while striving for goals and engaging full-heartedly in messy relationships.

I usually respond, “You be content. I’ll be happy and content.”

5. “Happiness is not a meaningful goal.”

This judgment comes from skeptical thinkers who, ironically, have not thought this one through. Whether happiness is or isn’t a meaningful goal surely depends on how happiness is defined.

If your definition is limited to good fortune and feelings, you derive little meaning. Contrary, if it is seeking excellence, being a good, loving person, or living an enlightened life, you derive great meaning. Offer your definition of happiness to the skeptic. Should he ignore it, he entertains a show in his head in which you play no role. That’s too bad. For him.

Maybe The Goal Shouldn’t Be Constant Joy Or Happiness

6. “Happiness is an egotistical preoccupation.”

This negative perception should be easily corrected. Happiness is never a one-woman show but is born out of a sense of relatedness. Isolation is for rats.

7. “Happiness is idiotic.”

Many are triggered when it comes to happiness, but the uncontained among us might just lose it. When (mostly) men, pair raw aggression with confidence, they speak as they damn well, please. These days, the overly aggressive believe themselves in opposition to the politically correct—a lame excuse.

Take note of the lack of manners and ask for a more constructive choice of words. Be assertive without turning into a rude person yourself, as otherwise, you join his unhappiness. If all else fails, be ready to disengage. Happiness includes the willingness to set boundaries and say, “No, in the name of love.”

I bow to those who claim their right to live a fully engaged life. Stand strong in the face of negativity. And when you touch on your own, become aware, stay with it, do what you can, and let it pass.

Read Why Do Certain People Drive You Crazy? How Behavioral Styles Impact Our Perceptions

Happiness is something that is actually quite rare to come across, so when you experience it, you need to value it. You will meet all sorts of people in your life, but you will seriously need to ignore those people who threaten your happiness. After all, it is your life and you deserve to be happy.

If you want to know more about how you can ignore people who threaten your happiness and people who bring you down, watch this video below:


Written by Andrea F. Polard Psy.D.
Originally Published on Psychology Today

Please visit the author's website for more articles like this- www.AndreaPolard.com
Ways To Respond To People Who Bring You Down
7 Ways To Respond To People Who Bring You Down
Ways to Cope With People pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

4 Zodiac Signs Who Are Fake Friends: Beware of These Betrayers!

Zodiac Signs Who Are Fake Friends Learn About Them Now

Have you encountered friends who keep breaking your trust? Take a look at these zodiac signs who are fake friends to spot potential backstabbers.

Attention all star-gazers and horoscope enthusiasts! If you think you are surrounded by fake friends, the good news is, astrology can provide insights into which individuals to be cautious of. 

We all know that friendships are crucial for a happy and fulfilling life, but unfortunately, not everyone is cut out to be a true-blue friend. Some zodiac signs tend to put on a facade of friendship and end up backstabbing you when you least expect it. 

Discover the Zodiac Signs Who Are Fake Friends He


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

Breaking Free: The Ultimate Checklist for Ending a Relationship With a Narcissist

Point Checklist For Ending A Relationship With A Narcissist

Ending a relationship with a narcissist is not a very easy thing to do, to be honest. However, ending a narcissistic relationship is important if you want to live a happy and sane life.

In order to achieve this goal, it's crucial to know the steps for leaving an abusive relationship. Let's find out how to end an abusive relationship and how to leave a narcissistic relationship.

Key Points

Leaving an abusive relationship is often the most dangerous time for a victim, as it is when the abuser fears they are losing control.

While not all people with NPD are abusive, if your abuser has narcissistic traits, they could be capable of post separation abuse.


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

Is Someone Watching You? Understanding Stalking Behavior

Breaking Down Stalking Behavior What You Need to Know

You have this constant feeling that you simply can’t shake. Your anxiety levels have shot up and you’re always on the edge. You feel like you’re being watched…all the time. Every step you take, every move you make, someone is watching you. You have a stalker and they are stalking you even when you’re at home.

Trigger warning: If you have been stalked before, then this content may appear triggering. Please use your discretion before reading the following content.

Is someone following you?

You walk down the street. It’s late. There are a handful of busy people walking by who pay no attention to you. The yellow streetlights make you feel relaxed and comfortable as you slowly walk towards your home. And then it


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

What Is An Exhibitionist Narcissist? Breaking Down The Anatomy Of The Attention-Seeking Narcissist

What Is An Exhibitionist Narcissist Traits and Behaviors

Ah yes, narcissists! What a fun bunch of people who abuse you and ruin your relationships and life. While narcissists are horrible to be with as they are, it can be even more difficult to be around an exhibitionist narcissist. But what is an exhibitionist narcissist? 

Let’s take a deep dive and learn how to spot one and protect yourself from their dastardly mind games.

What is an exhibitionist narcissist?

Narcissism is a personality trait and it can manifest in different ways such as the vulnerable narcissist, the closet narcissist, the toxic narcissist, the exhibitionist narcissist and many others. So exactly what is an exhibitionist narcissist?


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

Breaking the Cycle: 7 Strategies To Avoid Falling Into A Narcissistic Relationship Pattern

Narcissistic Relationship Pattern Tips To Break The Cycle

Have you ever been in a relationship with a narcissist? If your answer is yes, then you know how toxic, unhealthy, and emotionally draining it really is. And if you find yourself falling into a narcissistic relationship pattern every time you open up your heart to someone, then this article might be able to help you.

Falling into a narcissistic relationship pattern can be a devastating experience, leaving you feeling depleted, anxious, and helpless. Narcissistic relationships are characterized by an imbalance of power, with one partner seeking constant validation and attention, while the other is left feeling unheard and unimportant.

Dating someone with narcissistic personality disorder is probably one of the most traumatic things you ca


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

Decoding the Dark Triad: Recognizing and Differentiating Narcissists, Machiavellians, and Psychopaths

How To Recognize Dark Triad Personality

"Decoding the Dark Triad: Understanding the Differences and Detecting the Traits of Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Psychopathy"

Have you ever heard of the dark triad personality? Dark triad personalities have a hard time holding onto healthy relationships and tend to exploit others for their own selfish needs. Read on to know more about who they are and how they function.

Key Points

The three Dark Triad personality subtypes are narcissistic, Machiavellian, and psychopathic.

People possessing Dark Triad personalities tend to have unstable relationships and take advantage of others.

One who becomes involved with som

READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲
Up Next

What I Learned From Living With A Narcissist 

What I Learned From Living With A Narcissist

Are you in a relationship with a narcissist? Well there can be long term effects of living with a narcissist, can be emotionally depleting. Read to know more.

Relationships with narcissists revolve around them – their needs, their entitlement, their vanity, and their moods. Partners are not seen as separate, whole human beings with their own feelings and needs.

Because they lack empathy and think of only of themselves, narcissists feel entitled to control, belittle, and exploit family members in order to boost their impaired self-esteem and maintain their control.

Maintaining power is their primary objectiv


READ FULL ARTICLE ⇲