Falling in love with potential, and falling for almost all relationships turn out to be heartbreaking and devastating, but that is exactly what happens with empaths. Empaths tend to fall for people who don’t deserve their love, loyalty, and intensity, and if you are an empath, you know exactly what I am talking about.
And by the time you realize that maybe it’s not the right relationship for you, you are in too deep and you are finding it hard to let go.
Being an empath is a beautiful thing to be, and you should never think that you need to change yourself, just to be with someone you love. However, you can keep a few reminders in mind, so that you don’t get your heart broken again. These reminders can help you remember your sense of self-worth, and also help you to heal your broken and ravaged heart.
Related: The Pain and Joy of Letting Go of An Almost Relationship
Here Are Reminders For Empaths Who Always Fall For Potential
1. Falling for potential is unhealthy, and will only cause you more pain.
As an empath, you have so much love to give to others, and that’s one of the reasons so many people are drawn to you, including the ones who don’t have your best interests at heart. Your empathy and selfless nature make everyone feel good about themselves, and they always want to be with you, so that they can feed their souls with your positivity and kindness.
But what about you, and your happiness? You keep falling in love with people who do just the bare minimum for you and get away with it because they know they can; you are someone who never expects too much from others because you feel the happiest when you are able to give. You ignore the red flags that keep on glaring in front of you and refuse to see that the relationship you are in, is not a real one, because you have simply fallen for potential.
The reason for this is, you are seeing your relationship as something that you want it to be, rather than acknowledging it for what it truly is. You need to understand what is reality and what is not, because if you don’t, you will keep on getting disappointed by people who don’t deserve even an ounce of your love.
2. You are not responsible for fixing people, who don’t want to be fixed.
As an empath, you have this constant desire of fixing people and trying to help them let go of their negativity and toxicity. Even though your intention is noble and you only have good interests at heart, you need to understand one very simple thing: you cannot fix people who don’t want to be fixed, and you cannot help people who don’t want to help themselves. You might think that your love is powerful and pure enough to help them, but sometimes it’s not.
And honestly, it’s not your job nor your responsibility to fix toxic people; if someone genuinely loves you as much as you love them, they would want to work on themselves and be a good person for you. Transforming oneself means having to do a lot of inner work, and introspection and some people are simply not capable of doing this. Some people never change. Some people do not mature into someone you hope you can love.
If you keep on falling for people hoping they would change with time, then you are only setting yourself up for more hurt and disappointment. Constantly harboring a hope like this will gradually turn poisonous, and will end up breaking you emotionally and mentally.
Related: I Am Not an ‘Almost Relationship’ Kind of Girl
3. Don’t beat yourself up for trusting the wrong person and falling in love with them.
It’s very natural to shame yourself and beat yourself up when you keep on falling for potential because, after a point, you start feeling as if there is something wrong with you. You berate yourself, even more, when you stay with someone for a long time, and realize much later that things were never going to change, and it was all a lie. Stop doing this! You have got nothing to be ashamed of, least of all, yourself.
You fell in love with that person because they made you happy. You fell in love with that person because you saw goodness in them. You always look for the best in people, and that’s never a bad thing, rather it’s one of the most courageous things someone can ever do. However, you need to protect your heart and feelings too, don’t you? Keep that goodness, hope, and kindness in your heart but give them to someone who truly deserves it. Give your all in a relationship that will never make you feel confused or blindsided.
You deserve so much more than half-baked and insincere relationships.
4. It’s hard to let go and move on, but you need to do it.
It is never easy to let go of the one you love, but sometimes it’s important and necessary that you do it. Letting go of the hope that you felt for the relationship, is not easy, but sometimes that’s the best thing you can do for yourself. Trying to move on from the person you have loved with all your heart and soul is excruciating, but do you really want to spend your life loving someone, who will always ‘almost’ love you, or will make you ‘almost’ happy? Is falling for potential the ideal way to live and love?
Yes, change is difficult, especially when you have worked very hard on something. But holding on to something that will only cause you more pain is not going to make things better. Letting go is hard in the beginning, but give it some time and patience, and you will see that the pain and the scars are slowly disappearing from your heart. You cannot keep on giving, whilst the other person has absolutely no regard and responsibility towards you.
Once you leave the relationship for good, you will realize just how much you were doing for that person, who wouldn’t even lift a finger to do anything for you.
5. You will always know who they are, because they will show you.
It is always typical of empaths to ignore red flags even when they are being abundantly displayed in front of their eyes. This is because, empaths always look for the good in someone, and believe that every person has the potential to be better. You always tell yourself that no one is perfect, and that’s why you keep on giving them chances they don’t deserve, even in the slightest.
People who don’t deserve you will always show you their red flags, but it is up to you to decide whether or not, you will hold them accountable. Nobody can hide who they truly are for a very long time. If you keep on ignoring their glaring faults and keep on convincing yourself that things are not as bad as you think, and they will definitely get better, then you are simply setting yourself up for more heartbreak.
When someone shows you more red flags than green flags, always know that you deserve better, and there’s no point wasting your time and energy on them, who can at most offer you potential, and nothing more than that.
Related: The Reason Why It’s So Hard To Get Over Almost Relationships
6. The person you choose to be with, will be your partner for life.
Who you choose to be with now, will be your partner for life. Let that sink in. Before you choose to be with someone for the rest of your life, ask yourself a few questions:
- Would you be happy and content being in an almost relationship?
- What you have now, will that be enough for you, for the rest of your life?
- Do you genuinely think that you don’t deserve better?
- Do you truly believe that your relationship will turn out the way you have always hoped?
- Most importantly, are you ready to spend your life with someone who just has ‘potential’?
These are some of the toughest questions you will have to ask yourself when it comes to thinking about your future with your partner. If most or all of your answers to the above questions were no, then you know what you have to do. There’s no point in being in a relationship, where you will never truly be happy, and where you will have to put in most of the effort. Choosing your life partner is a very important and sensitive decision, so make sure you choose wisely.
7. See things for what they truly are, and not for what you want them to be.
If you are finding it difficult letting go, then maybe you should just take a few breathers, take a step back and try to see things for what and how they truly are. Think about what would happen if you stop giving your efforts, if you stop putting them on a pedestal, if you prioritize yourself and your happiness for a change, and most importantly if you choose to leave them because you finally realize that you deserve better.
Once you try to see everything through the lens of honesty, you will quickly realize that you have been watering a dead plant for all this time. You were fighting for someone, who never fought for YOU. You gave all that love and support to someone who did not deserve it in the slightest; they did not deserve the pedestal you had put them on.
Always remember, that you should see things for what they truly are, and not for what you want them to be. That way you will be able to protect yourself from a lot of heartbreak, pain, and disappointment.
8. You deserve the same love you give others.
When you do everything in your power to make someone happy, but they don’t, know that you deserve better. When you constantly show up for them, no matter what, and they don’t, know that you deserve better. When they make you feel insecure and bad about yourself, just because you put in more effort than them, know that you deserve better. When they make you feel that you need to change yourself for them to love you the way you love them, know that you deserve better.
You deserve to be with someone who will show up for you, just the way you do. You deserve to be with someone who won’t make you question the truth of their feelings. You deserve to be with someone who will never confuse you, nor will they leave you wondering all the time, about what could be. You deserve to be with someone who will accept you the way you are and love you fiercely nonetheless. You deserve to be with someone who will fight for you and the relationship, just like you do.
And most importantly, you deserve the same love, dedication, and affection you give others. Because you don’t deserve anything less than that.
Related: How Our Almost Relationship Changed Me
You might be an empath, but that does not mean you don’t deserve to feel the way you make everyone else feel. Falling for potential should never be your cup of tea because you deserve so much more than that. You deserve the world.
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