Releasing The Unresolved: Finding Peace In Letting Go Of An Almost Relationship

Pain Joy letting Go Almost Relationship 1

What happens when you finally go about ending an almost relationship? You feel a certain sense of debilitating pain and joy when you finally find yourself letting go of an almost relationship; a relationship that took a lot from you but gave only hurt in return. Getting over an almost relationship is hard, but not impossible, always remember that.ย ย 

I think in everyoneโ€™s life, we all have that one person. He is that one person wasnโ€™t ours, but we wanted so badly for him to be. He was almost everything we could have dreamed of.

Even to this day, when someone asks you about the perfect person, you think back to the qualities he possessed, realizing he was almost everything you needed, but the keyword is almost.

The Pain And Joy Of Letting Go Of An Almost Relationship

Somewhere along the way, you couldnโ€™t handle living an almost lifestyle, because you needed something concrete. You couldnโ€™t wait any longer for him to figure it out.

The unanswered calls you suddenly realized were being unanswered by you. The 2 AM texts you didnโ€™t even jump to answer anymore but slept through.

Related: When Almost Relationships Disguise Themselves As โ€˜Just Friendsโ€™

For so long it felt like you were standing on a subway platform for a train that wasnโ€™t even coming, and sadly would never come, because the tracks leading to you were broken, and not getting fixed.

Conflicts between your heart and head appear like a boxing match. To walk away from someone who consumes so much of your heart, you canโ€™t bear the thought of it. But, then in your head, you remind yourself, it is for the best you leave now. And you muster the courage to do so.

That realization feels like a breakup, but itโ€™s a breakup in a relationship in which he wasnโ€™t even a part.

Then one day as you are figuring out your life, chasing the dreams you two used to talk about, and the dreams he used to encourage, you cross paths with a stranger. He asks if you are seeing anyone, and you look down at a phone that has been silent for longer than youโ€™d like to admit.

You would have liked to say yes, you would have liked to tell him you have the greatest boyfriend in the entire world, who consumes so many thoughts as you go to sleep at night. But you donโ€™t and you canโ€™t and you realize, all those things he ever said, were just a compilation of words that sounded nice.

The hardest part about this isnโ€™t accepting the drink a stranger buys you or getting to know a new person and falling for them. The hardest part comes with the acceptance of how much time you wasted with someone who never actually saw a future with you.

Letting Go Of An Almost Relationship

At that time you found out each otherโ€™s secrets. You viewed the skeletons in each otherโ€™s closets with a smile holding them as they shed tears. You grew to know their story as well as become a part of it, but the part you played in one anotherโ€™s story was only temporary.

Even if it was temporary, there is no denying you fell in love with everything they were, even if part of that was a toxic relationship full of false promises and a life full of almost things that never came to be.

You wonder if anyone could know you the way he did. You wonder when something really bad happens and you donโ€™t reach for your cell phone to text him, as he was one of the few to really understand, can you handle that alone?

You hear his voice in your head telling you that you are the strongest most beautiful woman he knows, and you wonder if itโ€™s true. You didnโ€™t know that strength he spoke about would one day be needed to overcome him.

He has been around for so long, he has been on every page of your book and you wonder what the story could even be without him a part of it. Even if someone new came into the picture how would they understand your past, if they werenโ€™t a part of it?

Would they ever make you watch a scary movie, even though you hate them, just so they could hold you during the scary parts? Would they ever take you to your favorite place just to ask you to slow dance, singing your favorite song they spent days memorizing?

Related: The Reason Why Itโ€™s So Hard To Get Over Almost Relationships

Would you ever find another person who would watch your favorite movies, or read your favorite books just to gain more of an understanding of you?

Would you ever meet someone who would tell you, you are the most beautiful person in the entire world until you believed it? Would you one day meet someone who could be all those things that were perfect about the old guy, but more?

He was almost flawless, but that keyword being almost. Was it possible to meet someone who possessed all of his beautiful qualities, plus one? The one quality that wasnโ€™t an almost something but was the person you needed.

You come to this realization thatโ€™s all he ever was, something you wanted but couldnโ€™t have. The reason you didnโ€™t date, was because he didnโ€™t want to date you. Thatโ€™s a tough pill to swallow.

Then one day after finally letting him go, you cross paths with someone who makes things so simple it catches you off guard a little. He is everything the other person used to be minus the toxic aspects of the relationship.

There isnโ€™t an almost moment, of what is this? There are only clear concise moments of it being everything you need. Then as you are lying there together, waiting for this new guy to wake up your phone goes off, and with three small letters H-E-Y, you are being tested again.

You almost answer but donโ€™t.


Written By Kirsten Corley
For more of her work, Visit her Facebook Page Kirsten Corley
You Can Find Her work on kirstencorley.wordpress.com
The Pain and Joy of Letting Go of Your Almost Relationship
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