You’ve been seeing a new man that you’re really into, and you feel the familiar feeling that comes with getting your hopes up. You actually even allow yourself to be excited about him! And then, the most crushing blow of all happens. The guy goes silent on you.
You stare at your phone, praying that he will text or call, jumping at every notification.
I know how it feels, beautiful.
You’re left questioning yourself when a man goes silent. Wondering what you did wrong, what you might have said or shouldn’t have said, whether you should’ve just slept with him instead of holding off. Or worse, maybe you just weren’t good enough? Pretty enough? Skinny enough?
It leaves you in a downward spiral, thinking, “how can I be here again?”
You have no idea what to do when a guy goes silent on you.
My goal is to help you date from the most empowered place possible. A place where you have worth. You have a voice. You get to do the choosing.
When you don’t hear from a man, I know it can feel like you’re doing anything but choosing, but you do still have a choice.
First, out of these two scenarios, which does your guy fall into?
A man you’ve only been on a couple of dates with.
Or, the most amazing guy ever where things were progressing really nicely and you’ve been seeing each other regularly.
If it was a guy that you went on just one or two dates with, then the only thing to do if he suddenly goes silent is this: move on.
I know it can be tough, but it’s really that simple.
If on the other hand he was the most amazing guy and you thought you were on the road to meeting his parents, then you have to decide if he’s emotionally available or unavailable.
If you believe that he was indeed emotionally available, then it’s up to you to take responsibility, have courage, and have an honest conversation with him to see what is going on between you two. A powerful, alluring woman knows her worth and knows that she is not flawed.
You have the right to a conversation and to know if you have similar relationship goals right now
and if the feelings were truly mutual.
If he’s really meant to be your man, then you need to have this conversation no matter how scary it may be. Two loving individuals are committed to the growth of the relationship as well as their growth individually.
If this guy avoids the conversation, never calls you back, or flakes out in some way, then he’s simply not meant to be your guy.
If he does have the conversation but says that now isn’t the right time for him to be in a relationship although he does still want to see you – this is not your guy.
You can’t change his mind into wanting a relationship with you even with sex. He simply isn’t the one.
If this is the case then it’s time to release him.
A true high-quality man will not avoid this conversation. He will square up and be honest with you about why he’s pulled away.
Everyone gets scared sometimes.
Unfortunately, many of us didn’t grow up with examples of truly loving and healthy relationships. We may still have but few examples of this in our life. My mission through my coaching and Crazy Wild Love Academy is to change that.
I want you to be the black sheep of our society. Maybe of your family. To break the mold!
So if it was a case that your man got scared, and profusely apologized, then it’s up to you to honor yourself and see if you choose to accept that apology and give him a second chance.
Everyone, sometimes, deserves a second chance.
Now, I’d love to hear from you!
Have you ever been in a situation where a man suddenly pulled away? What to do when a man goes quiet suddenly?
Share as much detail as possible in the comments. Hundreds of incredible souls come here each week for insight and inspiration, and your comment could be the spark that sets them free.
If you have friends or family who are struggling to find true love, please share this post.
Written by Alexis Meads Krilla
Harvard University MLA Dating and Life Coach
Originally appeared on AlexisMeads.com