11 Things People Pleasers End Up Doing Unintentionally


Things People Pleasers End Up Doing

Is being a people pleaser an endemic problem? For most of us, the ultimate seal of approval comes when our actions or views get validated by people from all corners. This may be heartening news, but for some, the general inclination to please everybody may be a problematic situation in the first place.

Who Is A People Pleaser?

A people pleaser is someone who is fundamentally a very helpful, kind, sensitive, and reliable person, who leaves no stone unturned to help people and make them happy. However, being a people pleaser if you constantly sacrifice your needs and happiness, and only prioritize the needs of others, it can make you extremely unhappy.

People pleasers tend to be pure souls who only want spread kindness in the world, but this compassionate nature of theirs put them at risk of being exploited, hurt, and abused by other people.

Unfortunately, even if you know that you should cut ties with someone, you still don’t do that because you don’t want to hurt or anger them.

Related: 9 Important Reminders For A People Pleaser and How To Finally Say ‘No’

15 Habits Of A People Pleaser

Some of the most defining and common habits displayed by a people pleaser are the following:

  • You find it very hard to say ‘no’.
  • You suffer from low self-esteem and low self-confidence.
  • You struggle with being your authentic self.
  • You hate conflict, drama, and arguments.
  • You agree to things you don’t really want to do, just for the sake of not upsetting the other person.
  • You have an inherent need for others to like you, and it bothers you if someone doesn’t.
  • You don’t think very highly of yourself.
  • You accept blame for things you are not responsible for.
  • You feel stressed and burnt out quite frequently.
  • You dislike and even fear rejection.
  • You don’t call people out despite knowing that they might be taking advantage of you.
  • You never accept praise, acknowledgment, and credit for a job well done.
  • You apologize a lot.
  • You do things you don’t want to do, just to make someone else happy.
  • You find it hard to be straightforward and honest about your feelings, and instead, tend to sugarcoat everything.

Here are the top things you do when you try to please anyone and everyone that comes your way.

people pleaser
What is a people pleaser

11 Things People Pleasers End Up Doing Unintentionally

1. You do not snap ties with anyone and allow negative people to stay back in your life. A lot of the time, women and men allow their inner fears to stay in their minds. The fear of losing people or the fact that they could hate you in return makes them unwilling to snap ties.

2. A lot of times, many of us are profusely apologetic for our actions and literally bend backward to please people around us. This makes us lose our respect in the eyes of many in the long run.

Related: 9 Signs You’re A People Pleaser

3. You don’t know how to say no to others and even if you are sick with the flu, you call in for work without taking a leave. Making people happy is almost the other nature for you.

4. A lot of people forget to make time for themselves in their lives. While you are good at making other people happy in the relationships you share, you do not realize that you are hardly making time for yourself. Valuing one’s own life and happiness is more crucial than pleasing others!

5. Holding on to past resentments is not a good thing for your mind and soul. You may be troubled by past events that have taken a toll on your emotional self, and this may not be good for you in the long run. The anger and frustration you feel are not good for your emotional well-being. You should not allow anyone to take advantage of your kindness, and don’t let toxic people rent space in your head.

6. Your friends and family take a lot of advantage of you because they know you will do anything for them anytime. Do not let them exploit you in the name of love, and learn to take a stand for yourself.

7. Because you care a lot about your family and friends, most of them take advantage of the situation and think your actions are for free and you can easily be exploited. The idea is to imagine the power positions in the family. Because of your kindness and pure heart, most people might think you are weak.

8. On many occasions, you are unable to make decisions for yourself alone, because you are always thinking about how others might feel if you give yourself the importance you give them. This is why so many times you end up sacrificing your happiness for others.

people pleasing
Signs of a people pleaser

9. Hurting yourself more than hurting the other person is also a critical thing that most people pleasers do. Instead of making decisions for yourself, you constantly think about others’ happiness over yours.

10. Holding on to past relationships that don’t fulfill you is another sign of a people-pleasing tendency. In reality, you end up feeling much worse than when you started.

11. Finally, over-analyzing every move or every step is a defeat in some measure. You should be able to live life without passing judgment every single step of the way!

Related: 5 Lessons For People Pleasers

How Can You Stop Being A People Pleaser?

So, how to not be a people pleaser? Let’s find out!

1. Learn to say ‘NO’ when you don’t want to do something.

Saying ‘NO’ might seem like a very hard thing to do since you have always shied away from saying it, but this is a habit you really need to inculcate in yourself. Prioritize your needs and happiness, and once in a while, put yourself first.

If you don’t feel like doing something, or you don’t agree with someone’s opinion, then say it out loud. Don’t let other people guilt you or shame you into doing things you have no interest in doing.

2. Listen to your intuition and inner voice.

When your intuition speaks to you, listen carefully. One of the worst things people pleasers do is ignore their gut instinct and inner voice, and think that they’re just overthinking and being anxious.

However, the truth is that your inner voice knows what the reality is, and if it’s calling out to you, then trust it. If you feel a negative vibe from someone, it’s your intuition telling you that they might be toxic. If a place scares you or makes you feel uncomfortable, then it’s telling you that you should leave.

Listen to your inner voice, and let it guide you through all the sticky situations and negative people in your life.

3. Set strict boundaries.

You should never ever compromise with your boundaries, no matter how much you might love someone. It’s okay to put yourself first sometimes, even if it upsets someone else.

For example, if you don’t feel like meeting up with your friends, and just want to spend some alone time at home, then do that. Convey that to your friends, and if they don’t understand, it’s not really your problem.

Or if you have a narcissistic parent, and every time you meet them they criticize you and put you down, then set some boundaries and let them know that. If needed, minimize contact with them, and ask them not to come over to your place for visits. They will definitely create a scene but stick to your boundaries for the sake of your happiness and mental peace.

Related: The People Pleaser and the Narcissist: The Toxic Relationship Trap

4. Understand that you can never please everyone nor make everyone happy.

This is a harsh truth to accept, but one you absolutely have to. It’s not possible for you to please everyone in this world, no matter how hard you try to do so. Be your authentic self no matter what the world tells you to be.

It’s not your responsibility to make others happy and satisfy them, nor do you need to. Be kind, compassionate, and authentic always, and the right kind of people will never make you feel like you have to strive endlessly for their happiness.

people pleasing
People pleaser personality

5. Learn to take a stand for yourself.

Being a people pleaser, you really need to learn how to take a stand for yourself, so that others stop treating you like a doormat all the time. So raise your voice and let your feelings be known.

If someone hurts you, tell them. If someone is making you feel insulted, tell them. If you don’t agree with someone, let your feelings be known. And most importantly, if you are being pressurised to do something you don’t want to do, then let that be known.

Learning to take a stand for yourself is an extremely important quality to have. It lets people know that you are your own person, and you won’t just blindly do what they expect you to. You come first, and you will do what YOU feel comfortable with. Period.

Related: How To Overcome The Need To Please: 6 Step Guide

How many of these could you relate to? Let us know your thoughts in the comments down below!

Things People Pleasers End Up Doing
What Does It Mean To Be A People Pleaser: People Pleaser Syndrome
Things People Pleasers End Up Doing pin

— Share —

— About the Author —


  1. Jady JX Avatar
    Jady JX

    If you don’t please, you end up as aloof. If you please, you end up feel silly. So it’s just feel silly or let others feel aloof 😀

Leave a Reply

Up Next

Which ‘House of the Dragon Character’ Is Your Match? Claim Your Throne Now!

House of the Dragon Character Quiz: Interesting Characters

This 16th June 2024 will premiere the second season of a much-awaited show. All you must do is answer 8 interesting questions to find out your claim. So, which House of the Dragon character are you? Let’s play this quiz!

It’s amazing how far back “House of the Dragon” goes in the timeline of Westeros, telling the story of the Targaryen dynasty at its highest point. This world is where dragons fly and ancient prophecies rattle through the stones of Dragonstone.

This prequel is one of the most awaited because it tells stories about the Targaryen dynasty that are full of power, dragons, and treason. Happening many years before “Game of Thrones,” it’s sure to transport audiences into a realm of political gamesm

Up Next

6 Best Travel Books To Satisfy Your ‘Summer Wanderlust’

Best Travel Books To Read And Inspire A Wanderlust Summer

This summer, if you’re lounging on the beach, traveling to a new destination, or simply daydreaming that you are, the next best thing to do is read a good travel book. We’ve picked six of the best travel books to read – all very different each offering a unique insight into places far and near.

I don’t know about you, but summer is the time I always get around to reading those books about travel that transport you to somewhere else entirely.

These memoirs and novels will feed your wanderlust even more than that tiny plane seat or empty hotel room ever could – so why not grab one, lie back, and take yourself on the holiday of a lifetime?


Up Next

The Sunset Personality Test: What Does Your Choice Reveal About Your Inner Self

Fun Sunset Personality Test: Sunset To Know Your Real Self

It takes an entire lifetime to figure out who we really are. This sunset personality test is both interesting and illuminating, because it helps us learn about ourselves based on our decisions. So, are you ready to learn more?

Character is shaped by the choices and actions that influence our behavior. What one likes can indicate much about their personality. Today, let us discover what your favorite sunset tells about your character with a fun trend quiz.

Look at these four beautiful sunsets in the picture. The sunset you pick reveals your personality. So, without thinking too much; let your subconscious guide you!

Up Next

7 Natural Wonders Of The World To Promote And Protect This Environment Day

Rare Natural Wonders Of The World To Promote And Protect

From great mountains to untouched forests, let us discover 7 natural wonders of the world found across the world, three of which are so rare they will leave you tongue tied.

World Environment Day is celebrated on June 5th every year. This is the perfect opportunity to reflect on the natural wonders of the world we live on, its stunning scenery and breathtaking sights.

It is also chance for us all to think about what we can do in order not only preserve these areas but also protect them against exploitation by tourists.

So, let us embark on a journey to these beautiful places, and promise to take care of them so that everyone can enjoy them in the future.

Up Next

The Best Pet For Your Zodiac Sign: Find The Perfect Fur-ever Friend!

What Would Be The Best Pet for Your Zodiac Sign? Great Pets

Are you considering adding a furry or feathery friend to your life? Find the best pet for your zodiac because choosing a pet is more than just finding a companion – it’s about finding another soul that resonates with yours.

But how do you know which is the best pet for your zodiac sign with so many options out there? Well, why not look to the stars for guidance?

Your zodiac sign may hold the key to matching you up with your ideal animal. Let’s take a journey through space and discover what would be the best pet for your zodiac sign.

Up Next

Can You Find The Odd Macaw Within 23 Seconds? Fun Brain Teaser Puzzle

Find The Odd Macaw Within Seconds: Fun Brain Teaser

Alright, let’s see if you’ve got the eyes of a hawk! There’s an odd macaw hiding somewhere in this flock and you have got only 23 seconds to spot it. Do you think you can do it?

This brain teaser puzzle is a real test of your observational skills – can you pick out our one feathered friend that doesn’t quite fit in with the rest? It might seem easy, but trust me, those macaws are crafty creatures!

So, are you ready to test your visual prowess in this brain teaser for IQ test, and see if you can find the odd macaw before time runs out? This is going to be a fun one, so let’s dive in!


Up Next

Food Personality Test: What Does Your Eating Patterns Say About You?

Food Personality Test: Discover your unknown personality

This food personality test decodes eating patterns to reveal your hidden personality traits that you might still be unaware of.

Did you know the way you eat can be analyzed to know much more about yourself? we have listed few such ways of eating patterns and the personality they reveal.

Keep scrolling to Know which personality is yours!