Is people-pleasing an endemic problem?
For most of us, the ultimate seal of approval comes when our actions or views get validated by people of all corners. This maybe heartening news, but for some, the general inclination to please everybody may be a problem situation in the first place.
Here are the top things you do when you try to please anyone and everyone that comes your way.
1. You do not snap ties with anyone and allow negative people to stay back in your life. A lot of the times, women and men allow their inner fears to stay on their mind. The fear of losing people or the fact that they could hate you in return makes them unwilling to snap ties.
2. A lot of times, many of us are profusely apologetic of our actions and literally bend backwards to please people around us. This makes us lose our respect in the eyes of many in the long run.
3. You don’t know how to say no to others and even if you are sick with the flu, you call in for work without taking in a leave. Making people happy is almost the other nature for you.
4. A lot of people forget to make time for themselves in their lives. While you are at making other people happy in the relationships you share, you do not realize that you are hardly making time for yourself when you are looking at a holiday. Valuing one’s own life is crucial than pleasing others!
5. Holding on to past resentments is not a good thing for the overall health, mind and body. You may be troubled by the past events that have taken a toll over your emotional self, this may not be good for you in the long run. The anger and frustration is not good for your emotional well being. You should not allow anyone to take advantage of your kindness.
6. Your friends and family take a lot of advantage of you because they know you will do anything for them anytime. Do not be used for such events and allow others to take advantage of you.
7. Because you care a lot for your family and friends, most take advantage of the situation and think your actions are for free and you could be exploited. The idea is to imagine the power positions in the family. Because of your softness, most people might think you are weak.
8. On many occasions, you are unable to take decisions for yourself alone. The fact is that you cannot be selfish and others feel you don’t draw the line when needed!
9. Hurting yourself more than hurting the other is also a critical thing that most people pleasers do. Instead of taking decisions for yourself, you constantly take decisions about everyone else.
10. Holding on to past relationships that don’t fulfill you is another sign of a weak person. In reality, you land up feeling much worse than when you started.
11. Finally, over analyzing every move or every step is a defeat in some measure. You should be able to live life without passing judgement every single step of the way!