Are you someone who wants to align themselves with their higher self? Or know someone who likes to cleanse their aura? All these notions are from the handbook of New Age beliefs and maybe these very beliefs are getting you into toxic relationships.
Surprised? Isn’t New Age spirituality an essentially positive thing that is supposed to make your life better? Considering the intangibility of spirituality, even if we accept that it is indeed a path to self-realization and actualization, we cannot ignore that new age beliefs can often be misrepresented and twisted to take advantage of gullible and innocent individuals.
Tracing The Roots Of New Age Beliefs
The New Age Beliefs originated in the 1970s and 1980s in the US among an eclectic group of spiritual practitioners involved in esoteric learning, mysticism, occult, besides various eastern religious and philosophical views. They believed in several metaphysical concepts such as reincarnation, karma, astrology, alternative medicine, and so on. The New Age teachings primarily focused on personal transformation through diverse ritualistic practices.
Now Let’s Look At Some Of The Common Themes Of The New Age Practice
As New Age beliefs and practices are becoming more and more mainstream, these below-given themes of New Age spirituality can be found all across our popular culture and media.
- Manifestation through the law of attraction
- Raising our vibrations
- Practicing gratitude
- Alignment with our higher self
- Being our authentic self
- Healing qualities of crystals
- Importance of balancing our chakras
- Astrology, Tarot, and other divination tools
How New Age Beliefs Are Getting You In Toxic Relationships
Whether you believe in the new age spirituality or not, it can be a little baffling to think that spiritual beliefs that are aimed for the betterment of our lives, can be used against us to either rope us in or keep us tangled in toxic relationships. Let’s look at these prevailing new age beliefs and how they are being used by predators to manipulate unsuspecting people:
1. Positive Vibes Only
The New Age philosophy urges us to “vibrate in a higher frequency’’ all the time. This means we should regulate our emotions and consciously make an effort to always come from a place of love, compassion, peace, etc.
No doubt adopting a positive approach is beneficial to manage our daily stress, however, when it leads to avoidance and spiritual bypassing our issues, it opens a window for a toxic partner who might encourage you to only focus on the sunny side of your relationship, completely ignoring the abuse, dysfunctionality, and manipulation. Your person of interest asking you to not address or resolve your relationship woes is a big red flag.
2. You Create Your Reality
Another widely accepted New Age notion is “ You create what you think” or “What you focus on, expands”. Now, this attitude can make us conscious about our thought processes and also enable us to take responsibility for our situation. However, if your abusive partner is using this notion to prove that you are in fact responsible for all the toxicity that they are putting you through, run for the hills! This is spiritual gaslighting, where the abuser dismisses facts or alters reality, and puts the blame on the victim.
3. Always Be Grateful
Practicing gratitude or being grateful even for your troubles is another way of “counting our blessings”, something our well-meaning friends, mentors, and family members might ask us to do to tide over difficult times. Although being grateful shifts our energy to a more positive direction and helps us see the silver lining in every dark cloud, if you are being brainwashed to be grateful for the mistreatment dished out to you by your toxic lover, stop putting up with it. Your relationship is not a learning experience for managing abuse and neglect.
4. Following Signs & Synchronicities
One of the most popular New Age beliefs is surely looking for signs and synchronicities, supposedly sent by the universe. Believers often take seeing a feather or “angel numbers” like 11:11, 222, etc. as a green signal from a higher power, assuring them that they are on the right path.
Even if we believe in the existence of a conscious superpower, who does send us signs, we have to admit that divine power acts in mysterious ways, and without a profound spiritual knowledge, we cannot grasp the meaning of every sign we encounter. This makes it especially dangerous for people in toxic relationships who go against their better judgment and look for signals that appear to confirm their insecurity-driven decisions. For someone staying in an abusive relationship out of fear of loneliness, choosing not to snap ties just because she has seen 3:33 in the clock, is a threatening and self-sabotaging act.