Top 3 Narcissistic Patterns With Regard To Exes

Do narcissists quickly forget their exes? What are the narcissistic patterns with regard to exes?
Answered by Dr. Elinor Greenberg

Most Narcissists have a pattern and they usually stick to it. I have spoken about this in other answers, but I will give a quick review here of some common Narcissistic patterns with regard to exes.

Top 3 Narcissistic Patterns With Regard To Exes

1. Big Game Hunters:

Once they bag you and have figuratively mounted your head on their trophy wall, they lose all interest in you. Narcissists are too busy hunting their next trophy to even remember your name. If you thought you were in a serious relationship, you were mistaken.

Related: 3 Dead Giveaways Of How Narcissists Act In Romantic Relationships

2. The Romantics:

Narcissists will treasure the good memories and even talk with other people about how perfect the good times were with you. It all looks better in the rearview mirror than it actually was when you were together. All this, unfortunately, does not do the ex any good because even if they came back, they would leave you again….and again. They are in love with the idea of love and not you.

3. The Recyclers:

They have a group of willing lovers who they tend to cycle through repetitively. When they get bored or angry with you, they move on to the next person in the group. This narcissistic pattern can go on forever.

I have known situations like this that lasted so long that all the exes got to know each other and sometimes even socialized and commiserated with each other.

Narcissists don't pick losers

Whether your ex will think about you later depends on his or her pattern. However, as Narcissists cannot do without narcissistic supplies, they are likely to think of you most when they need a boost to their ego or are lonely and horny. And, if you are honest with yourself, that is when you are likely to be thinking about them as well.

Could you relate to these narcissistic patterns? Leave a comment below!

Related: 22 Things The Injured Narcissist Says and What They Really Mean

Elinor Greenberg, Ph.D., CGP

In private practice in NYC and the author of the book: Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration, and Safety.


Written by Elinor Greenberg, Ph.D.
Originally appeared in Quora

Published On:

Last updated on:

Dr. Elinor Greenberg

Elinor Greenberg, Ph.D., CGP, is an internationally renowned Gestalt therapy trainer who specializes in teaching the diagnosis and treatment of Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid adaptations in a lively and practical way. She has trained psychotherapists in her approach in the US, Norway, Sweden, Wales, England, Russia, and Mexico. Dr. Greenberg is the author of the book: Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration and Safety.

Disclaimer: The informational content on The Minds Journal have been created and reviewed by qualified mental health professionals. They are intended solely for educational and self-awareness purposes and should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing emotional distress or have concerns about your mental health, please seek help from a licensed mental health professional or healthcare provider.

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Do narcissists quickly forget their exes? What are the narcissistic patterns with regard to exes?
Answered by Dr. Elinor Greenberg

Most Narcissists have a pattern and they usually stick to it. I have spoken about this in other answers, but I will give a quick review here of some common Narcissistic patterns with regard to exes.

Top 3 Narcissistic Patterns With Regard To Exes

1. Big Game Hunters:

Once they bag you and have figuratively mounted your head on their trophy wall, they lose all interest in you. Narcissists are too busy hunting their next trophy to even remember your name. If you thought you were in a serious relationship, you were mistaken.

Related: 3 Dead Giveaways Of How Narcissists Act In Romantic Relationships

2. The Romantics:

Narcissists will treasure the good memories and even talk with other people about how perfect the good times were with you. It all looks better in the rearview mirror than it actually was when you were together. All this, unfortunately, does not do the ex any good because even if they came back, they would leave you again….and again. They are in love with the idea of love and not you.

3. The Recyclers:

They have a group of willing lovers who they tend to cycle through repetitively. When they get bored or angry with you, they move on to the next person in the group. This narcissistic pattern can go on forever.

I have known situations like this that lasted so long that all the exes got to know each other and sometimes even socialized and commiserated with each other.

Narcissists don't pick losers

Whether your ex will think about you later depends on his or her pattern. However, as Narcissists cannot do without narcissistic supplies, they are likely to think of you most when they need a boost to their ego or are lonely and horny. And, if you are honest with yourself, that is when you are likely to be thinking about them as well.

Could you relate to these narcissistic patterns? Leave a comment below!

Related: 22 Things The Injured Narcissist Says and What They Really Mean

Elinor Greenberg, Ph.D., CGP

In private practice in NYC and the author of the book: Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration, and Safety.


Written by Elinor Greenberg, Ph.D.
Originally appeared in Quora

Published On:

Last updated on:

Dr. Elinor Greenberg

Elinor Greenberg, Ph.D., CGP, is an internationally renowned Gestalt therapy trainer who specializes in teaching the diagnosis and treatment of Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid adaptations in a lively and practical way. She has trained psychotherapists in her approach in the US, Norway, Sweden, Wales, England, Russia, and Mexico. Dr. Greenberg is the author of the book: Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration and Safety.

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