Why Empathy Must Start With You

why empathy must start with you

Empathy is a bit of a buzzword at the moment, for all the right reasons. Empathy is emotional intelligence. Here’s why empathy must start with you.

If you truly loved yourself, you could never hurt another ~ Buddha

To empathise is to put yourself in the shoes of another, to see through their eyes and convey that understanding.  The ability to empathise is the vehicle through which we convey love, kindness, compassion and acceptance to one another.  So why do humans struggle with empathy?


The ability to truly empathise with another starts with extending empathy to yourself.

We can attempt to empathise with other people but, until we can show true love, compassion and non-judgement to ourselves, we will always struggle not to judge other people.

When we judge other people we are, in effect, judging ourselves.  When we lack empathy for another being we lack empathy for ourselves. Judgement and empathy cannot coincide together.

So, if empathy is the ability to stand in the shoes of another person and see through their eyes, how we can we empathise with ourselves?

Read The Science Behind Empathy And Empaths

The person I am today, writing these words, is not the person I was yesterday, last week, last month or last decade.  I am not the victim of my childhood or the survivor of my early adult life.  

I am not the pain I suffered or the pain I caused others. Through this understanding, I can look at myself in the past with empathy, with kindness and with compassion.

By extending empathy to the person I was in the past, through my eyes of today, I rise above any negative emotions; pain, shame, grief, anger and every other emotion that I’m scared to face and extend understanding to myself, for all my struggles.  

Through this understanding, I am able to deal with the residual feelings of the past that I need to let go. I can see what I need to change in terms of my thoughts, beliefs and conditioning in the present to stop the past affecting my future.

Read If You Want An Intense Kind Of Relationship, Date A Girl With Hyper-Empathy

I love myself through, deeply, compassionately and without judgement. By truly accepting myself and my struggles in life through the gift of empathy, I can go on to extend empathy as the vehicle of kindness and compassion to others.

This is why empathy must start with you.  It doesn’t matter whether you have been hurt or hurt others.  True empathy starts with compassion and self-love for you.  It’s the greatest act of self-love and leads to an increase in self-confidence, self-worth and self-belief.

So love yourself through my friends.  Extend love, kindness and compassion to yourself in the past as the person you are in the now.  By extending love to yourself in past, you change your future for the better.

Once you truly love yourself, you could never hurt another.

By Samantha Wilson

Love Yourself Through Why Empathy Must Start With You
Why Empathy Must Start With You
why empathy must start with you Pin

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

Mental Health and Holidays: How to Safeguard Your Mental Health Amidst Holiday Hustle And Bustle

Mental Health and Holidays: Strategies For Wellness

Holiday season is usually presented as a time of happiness, enjoyment and unity. However, for many people, this season may also trigger anxiety, grief or depression. Let’s learn about mental health and holidays.

In our excitement to meet up with family members and carry out different celebrations such as Christmas festivities, it is important to put our mental health first and think about the impact the holiday season might have on us psychologically.

Today we will explore the issue of mental health during the holidays highlighting holiday blues, stress and strategies that can be used to make it easier for you through this period.

Mental Health and Holidays 

Up Next

What To Do Alone On Christmas: 17 Merry Tips For A Warm Solo Christmas 

What To Do Alone On Christmas: Solo Celebration Tips

Do you feel alone on Christmas? Do you keep wondering what to do alone on Christmas? Christmas, a time that is often associated with love, family and happiness can sometimes be the source of loneliness. 

Some individuals are forced to spend their Christmas alone due to different reasons. However, staying alone does not mean you have to be sad during the holidays. In fact, this might be an opportunity for contemplation, relaxation and finding unique ways of experiencing joy.

Let’s explore what to do alone on Christmas day and experience the holiday spirit and happiness. 

Why Do We Feel Lonely at Christmas

Before we can delve into what to do alone at Christmas, let

Up Next

How To Use Binaural Beats To Let Go of Fear, Pain, And Overthinking

How To Use Binaural Beats? Best Binaural Beats Benefits

Ever wondered how to use binaural beats correctly? Find the best ways to heal, relieve fear, pain, and excessive thinking. Your journey begins here!

There are a stunningly vast array of benefits you can experience from listening to binaural beats – a fascinating form of soundwave therapy.

When one of America’s most famous living philosophers, Ken Wilber, was asked what the average person could do to raise their consciousness, he replied:

There’s already a technology that can be used to raise human consciousness. It’s called binaural beats.

Up Next

What Is A Backhanded Compliment? 10 Examples That Show Why It’s The Worst Thing Ever

What Is A Backhanded Compliment

Imagine stepping out the door feeling like you’re on top of the world. You’ve put in effort into your look, and you’re brimming with a sense of self-assuredness. Then, someone slides up to you with a smile and says: “You’ve lost weight! You look much prettier now.” And there goes your self-esteem. Was that supposed to be a compliment? Welcome to the bittersweet world of backhanded compliments. But what is a backhanded compliment?

Backhanded compliments are, perhaps, the most socially acceptable way to lace negativity with a bow of positivity, delivered with a smirk hiding under a smile. It’s the subtlety of these remarks that makes them so intriguing and so infuriating.

Up Next

How Can I Stop Obsessing Over Someone? 7 Proven Steps to Reclaim Your Happiness!

How Can I Stop Obsessing Over Someone? Proven Steps!

Ever been in a situation where you just can’t shake the thoughts about someone? Wondering, “How Can I Stop Obsessing Over Someone?” Trust me, we’ve all been there, and it’s not easy. 

The good news is there are ways to break free from this cycle. In this article, we’ll explore seven simple steps that can help you stop obsessing over someone starting right now. 

So, let’s dive into the core of this issue and understand the obsessive love meaning and how it can impact our lives.

Obsessive Love Meaning

When you can’t get someone out of your head and you mistake those intense feelings for love, that’s what we call obsessive love. 

Up Next

When You Finally Begin To Heal: 4 Signs You Are on the Right Track With Your Healing Journey

When You Begin To Heal: Signs You Are On The Right Track

The path of healing is not an easy journey to be on, but it is only when you begin to do the healing work is when you finally begin to heal. This article is going to explore the signs you are healing, so that you know you are on the right track.

There is a lot of focus on shadow work when you begin upon your healing journey, and for good reason. After all, how can you know what needs to be healed if you are too afraid to visit the shadows? Because much of my work is focused on guiding and supporting women through their healing journey I tend to write a lot about shadow work and shadow work processes.

Up Next

How People Choose To Go No Contact With A Family Member

Going No Contact With A Family Member? Steps For Doing So

Going no contact with a family member is probably one of the hardest things you will ever have to do in your life. However, sometimes the most important steps are the hardest to take. When you choose no contact, you are choosing to prioritize your emotional and mental well-being. This post is going to talk about how going no contact with family is done and what are the important steps to take.

Key Points:

Family members may choose no contact due to abuse, neglect, mental illness, or drug and alcohol use.

When choosing no contact, it may be necessary to take certain measures for protection.