Toxic siblings have the same effect on your life as toxic friends or bad coworkers. It is rather harder to take a step back from siblings since you have family obligations to follow and uphold some moralistic and sentimental grounds.
A sibling relationship is likely to be the most enduring of our lives. The impact they have on our young and adult lives is enormous – they shape our history and our character, to a far greater extent than is usually acknowledged.
Siblings know you better than anyone. They may not always admire you, but they’ll always be intensely interested in you. If you ask a sibling to describe a parent, a friend or a sibling, it is the sibling that the child will describe with the most sophistication and detail, in terms of their character and habits.
A study tracking almost 300 men from the late 1930s to the present day has shed new light on the importance of the sibling bond. According to the Harvard Study of Adult Development, 93 per cent of the men who were thriving at 65 had been close to a sibling in their early life.
Siblings are not always the best part of growing up, not if they are toxic. Not all of us have siblings we get along with. If you are stuck with a hateful brother or sister, it can leave a negative scar on you for life. It can take a lot of work to keep such a toxic relationship going.
Where Exactly Does The Dynamic Go Haywire?
Parental favoritism (perceived or actual) is one of the most fundamental reasons behind the rift that has been created betweEn siblings. When parents treat kids differently, in ways that kids feel are unfair, that’s associated with worse sibling relationships and lower self-concept.
The trigger can range from the littlest of differences to the definitive clashes of personalities or interests between the siblings. Adjustments, compromises and respecting their own world go a long way in making it a smooth sailing in any normal scenario.
But the lack of it, can create a chasm between even blood relations and when left uncatered, the rift grows wider. This is ample grounds for toxicity to brew between siblings.
8 Signs Of Having Toxic Siblings
Here are the warning signs that your sibling shares a toxic relationship with you. Buckle up!
1. Unhealthy Rivalry
There’s always a bit of rivalry between siblings, right from childhood. Healthy and adorable in nature, it generally pushes you to outdo the other and ultimately result in growth, for both equally. But just like everything else, even this has its own time and relevance.
This competition, if carried on till adult life, can be very uncomfortable and problematic in real life. When your sibling wants to compete with you, in spite of your lives being different, you know there is something essentially wrong in your relationship with him/her. They are unable to grow out of that competency because seeing your progress might not be in their best wishes. Thus, the toxicity prevails.
2. Negative Energy At Large
Toxic siblings work just the opposite of how a normal sibling relationship helps us. It brings us comfort and positive energy through and through. But Toxic ones drain us of our energies. They keep on taking and receiving, without any proper reciprocation.
They tend to be dismissive of your needs as family, unwilling to listen and be a part of your life. All while getting all the help and service meted out to him/her.
3. Triggering Anxiety
These types of siblings make you doubt your own goodwill. They will imprint such a scare that you will be cross-checking and questioning your motives, your deeds and your words throughout. Thus, making you anxious.
Whether you are over-saying, over-sharing, overstaying your welcome, being needy. This negativity and lack of freedom with your own blood is as disheartening as it is exhausting.