Love is one of the most beautiful things you can ever experience in your life, and the feeling of being in a happy and fulfilling relationship is unparalleled. But sometimes, many people, because they are in love get stuck in toxic relationships.
Every relationship has it’s ups and downs, but sometimes, certain relationships are just completely toxic for the two people who are in them. In the worst-case scenario, they feel pressured to be together and they end up resenting each other till their last moments.
Partners who are compatible are the ones who are able to cooperate with each other and work through their problems hand in hand. Some couples just can’t do this. They’ll start blaming each other for every little thing and neither one will be able to take a step back and assess whether they are actually contributing negatively to the situation. This doesn’t mean that you are ever to blame if your partner is abusive.
Related: 5 Reasons You Might Be Holding On To A Toxic Relationship
If you are stuck in a relationship that is making you unhappy, don’t think that everything is your partner’s fault and that you will eventually be able to fix them. You need to see the light and get out when you still have the chance. There is really no point in being stuck in toxic relationships.
Here Are 5 Lies We Tell Ourselves That Keep Us Stuck In Toxic Relationships
1. “I know what I am doing.”
There’s definitely something off that you can sense in the way your partner treats you. But since you’ve been together for a while, you know how to ignore that and act around them. You think you’ve got them pinned down because you treat them cautiously and you know what to say and what not to say when you’re with them. A relationship isn’t a machine you can control and neither is a person.
Even though you think that you have got everything handled, and the negative things don’t bother you anymore, you are lying to yourself. You are forcing yourself to be okay with things, you should not be okay with. By bottling up your pain, you are hurting yourself more.
A relationship in which you have to watch your every step will only make you feel worse in the long run. You need to be with a person who makes you feel comfortable about yourself.
2. “I’m dealing with this really well.”
Sometimes, you think you’re coping with a situation well but in all honesty, you’re only avoiding the actual problem. For example, you might have an internal, imaginary shouting match with your partner whenever they do something that upsets you. Once that happens, you feel satisfied for a time that you’re okay with the fact that you let things be. Stop kidding yourself!
You don’t deserve to be in a relationship where you are constantly testing how big of an emotional burden you can carry before you finally keel over in defeat. It’s not a trial with some big reward waiting on the other side. The more you have to hide your thoughts from your significant other because you know that they won’t do anything to make it right, the more pain you are causing yourself.
You’ll only end up damaging your own psyche by staying stuck in toxic relationships like this.
Related: The 10 Types of Toxic Relationships You Should Avoid At All Costs
3. “I really love them.”
You cannot love someone you resent having to give that love to. Repeat this to yourself over and over again till you’re sure that you’ll never forget it. Don’t think that you’ll be crowned as a savior for giving up your own needs and desires because you think that you can pick this person up and fix them. You cannot spend your whole life trying to fix something that can never be fixed.
That’s the thing about being stuck in toxic relationships – you think you can make everything right, but the truth is you cannot. You don’t love this person. You’re in love with the idea that your love can make another person whole again. Pride wants you to be the hero of this story you’ve written in your head.
Healthy relationships are ones in which both partners are open with each other and who support each other through everything. There’s no competition as to who is more mentally stable than the other.
4. “But they love me.”
Nip this idea in the bud before it takes over in your mind. A person who knows that they’re causing you pain but still repeats their actions over and over again is not someone who loves you and they’re not likely to at any point. No matter what they say verbally, at the end of the day, how they are behaving with you, and how they are making you feel is what matters. Actions speak louder than words, you know.
Maybe sometimes, your partner is nice to you and treats you well, because they love the attention and affection you shower on them, and not because of any particular feeling towards you.
They like having a hold on you and you like to think of yourself as a martyr to the cause of bringing them back to what you believe is the light. Toxic relationships can never give you what you truly deserve, rather, they will only take and take from you, until you have nothing left to give.
5. “This is how real relationships are.”
No, this is not how a healthy and stable relationship looks like. When you are constantly sacrificing yourself and your needs just to make the other person happy, then know that you are stuck in one of the most toxic relationships ever. When you are forced to do things for them, but they never do the same for you, then it’s time for you to leave the relationship.
Healthy relationships are based on a mutual partnership, where both the partners support each other, try to make each other happy, and love and accept each other for who they are. But in toxic relationships, you are the one who is always expected to make all the sacrifices, adjustments, and compromises, while the other person will not even do 1% of that.
So, no. This is not how a normal and healthy relationship is supposed to look like.
Related: 5 Ways To Avoid Toxic Relationships and Find Meaningful Ones
If you are someone who is telling these lies to yourself just to convince your heart that you are with the right person, then please don’t. Don’t do this to yourself, because you don’t deserve this. Love yourself enough to know that there is someone out there who will give you the love you want. Staying stuck in toxic relationships is never going to make you happy.
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