Declawing Asian Tiger Parents: 10 Easy Steps To Keep Them At Bay

There are some Asian parents and families who have the need to protect traditional honor. They’re commonly referred to as “Tiger Parents“. In this process, Asian tiger parents may be strict, intrusive or unsupportive without realizing the consequences it can have on their children. If you have a parent who behaves the same way, here’s all the things you need to know.

Tiger parenting is a kind of harsh parenting style in which parents are extremely involved in their children ’s learning and development. Tiger parents, in particular, encourage their children to excel academically or in high-status extracurricular activities such as music or athletics.

** This post is strictly satirical in nature. Nothing in this post should be misconstrued as therapeutic advice in any way, shape, or from in your interactions with Asian parents or parental figures.

This stereotypical style of strict parenting became notoriously or pejoratively known as “tiger parenting” from Amy Chua’s best-selling book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. In it, she describes how her parenting style, learned from her childhood experiences with her own parents, fostered what she considered a “better” way to raise children compared to Western or American standards.

It was controversial because much of what she advocated to help her children “succeed” could be considered beyond strict, bordering on emotional and verbal abuse. For example, she recounts calling one of her daughters “garbage” with her native Chinese dialect.

In many ways, the book perpetuates and validates this style of traditional Asian parenting, in which a child’s self-esteem and emotions do not warrant attention. Asian clients and Asian message boards abound with stories of this style of parenting.

As a counterpoint to those suffering from tiger parents, here are 10 steps to help keep the pain away.

1. Buy Earplugs

You might not know, understand, or acknowledge that the insults, put-downs, and name-calling can be considered abusive but you do know you don’t like it. It’s time to tune them out. If the earplugs seem disrespectful, you can consider the next suggestion.

2. Agree With Them

Obviously this is just a means of appeasing them by appearing to agree with them by saying yes or nodding your head. It’ll help create some emotional distance from them so long as you know you’re doing this on your own accord.

Related: Narcissistic Fathers: The Dark Shadow They Cast From Childhood To Adulthood

3. Move Out

If you’re of age, move out and learn how to be independent from an early age. You might also google “emancipated minor” in your state (i.e. legally considered an adult and no longer under the auspices or authority of your parents).

4. Get A Job

Asian parents love to control, manipulate, or guilt-trip you with their money. (e.g. “I paid for your phone, car, education, etc.). Try to nip this in the bud as early as possible. Learn to be financially self-sufficient. Work at McDonald’s.

5. You’re American

Tell them you live in America and are an American. (Sorry, I’m not sure how well this works outside the U.S. and Canada.) Tell them you don’t consider yourself Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, etc. Bear in mind that renouncing your heritage may invoke the fury of not only your parents but all your dead ancestors as well.

6. Be A Painter, Poet, Or Artist

Despite the barrage of criticism you’ll get, sharing this occupational epiphany with them early on will pay huge dividends in the long run. Due to their obsessiveness and fixation over your grades, education, and future job prospects, telling them upfront you want out of the corporate rat-race will likely generate generations of ancestral backlash. But if you can withstand the backlash and eventually decide to go into a more “financially-stable” field, they will be frothing at the mouth with delight. If you do go the creative route, well at least you’ve paved the way for your brothers and sisters to endure fewer emotional beat-downs.

7. Say No To Life360 And Other Location-Based Apps

This will be hard if you’re a minor but if you’re of age, stop the codependency and tell your parents you don’t need them knowing your whereabouts.

8. Stay Off Of Social Media

On a similar note, you should consider staying off social media or remember they will be trolling you. At the very least, be discrete in your posts.

Related: 6 Common Ways Parents Confuse Kids By Their Hypocritical Behavior

9. Give Them A Hug

This may seem counterintuitive but a tactic to “declaw” your tiger parents is to keep them confused. What’s more confusing than giving them a hug after they’ve called you lazy, stupid, or worthless?

Hugs That Last Over Twenty Seconds Release Oxytocin

10. “I Love You”

This is in line with the earlier thought process of keeping them off-guard and perplexed. Bonus points if you can do this in their native tongue.

What other tricks do you have?


Written by: Sam Louie
Originally appeared on: Samlouiemft.com
Republished with permission.

declaw your tiger parents pinop
declaw your tiger parents pin

Published On:

Last updated on:

Sam Louie

Sam Louie is a psychotherapist and relationship coach in Seattle and Bellevue. He holds a Master’s of Arts degree in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis in marriage and family psychotherapy.

Disclaimer: The informational content on The Minds Journal have been created and reviewed by qualified mental health professionals. They are intended solely for educational and self-awareness purposes and should not be used as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing emotional distress or have concerns about your mental health, please seek help from a licensed mental health professional or healthcare provider.

Leave a Comment

Today's Horoscope

Accurate Daily Horoscope for 12 Zodiac Signs

Daily Horoscope 25 June 2025: Prediction For Each Zodiac Sign

🌟 Ready to unlock the secrets of 25 June, 2025? Discover your personalized horoscope and see what the stars have in store for you today! ✨🔮

Latest Quizzes

Music Taste Quiz: Find Out Your Strongest Personality Trait

Music Taste Quiz: The Music You Like Can Reveal Your Strongest Personality Trait!

Whether you’re the life of the party with a pop playlist, or a deep thinker grooving to jazz, your choice in music can say a lot about who you are.

Latest Quotes

Weekly Horoscope 23 June To 29 June part one

Weekly Horoscope 23 June To 29 June

Weekly Horoscope 23 June To 29 June Aries (March 21 – April 19)Tangible progress on home & wellness goals. A heartfelt reset in family matters or living arrangements. An unexpected insight around 27th may reshape how you handle emotional security or finances. Taurus (April 20 – May 20)This is the week to act on long-held…

Readers Blog

Dear Me At 23 Lessons Learned And Dreams Ahead

Dear Me At 23: Lessons Learned And Dreams Ahead

I think of life as a ride that propels us to live through the synopsis of time, that stargazes us through life, that guides us through our darkest moments, that comforts and confronts us. Striding through the odyssey of journey that mesmerises us in its finest beauty and haunts us with its darkness, that binds…

Latest Articles

There are some Asian parents and families who have the need to protect traditional honor. They’re commonly referred to as “Tiger Parents“. In this process, Asian tiger parents may be strict, intrusive or unsupportive without realizing the consequences it can have on their children. If you have a parent who behaves the same way, here’s all the things you need to know.

Tiger parenting is a kind of harsh parenting style in which parents are extremely involved in their children ’s learning and development. Tiger parents, in particular, encourage their children to excel academically or in high-status extracurricular activities such as music or athletics.

** This post is strictly satirical in nature. Nothing in this post should be misconstrued as therapeutic advice in any way, shape, or from in your interactions with Asian parents or parental figures.

This stereotypical style of strict parenting became notoriously or pejoratively known as “tiger parenting” from Amy Chua’s best-selling book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. In it, she describes how her parenting style, learned from her childhood experiences with her own parents, fostered what she considered a “better” way to raise children compared to Western or American standards.

It was controversial because much of what she advocated to help her children “succeed” could be considered beyond strict, bordering on emotional and verbal abuse. For example, she recounts calling one of her daughters “garbage” with her native Chinese dialect.

In many ways, the book perpetuates and validates this style of traditional Asian parenting, in which a child’s self-esteem and emotions do not warrant attention. Asian clients and Asian message boards abound with stories of this style of parenting.

As a counterpoint to those suffering from tiger parents, here are 10 steps to help keep the pain away.

1. Buy Earplugs

You might not know, understand, or acknowledge that the insults, put-downs, and name-calling can be considered abusive but you do know you don’t like it. It’s time to tune them out. If the earplugs seem disrespectful, you can consider the next suggestion.

2. Agree With Them

Obviously this is just a means of appeasing them by appearing to agree with them by saying yes or nodding your head. It’ll help create some emotional distance from them so long as you know you’re doing this on your own accord.

Related: Narcissistic Fathers: The Dark Shadow They Cast From Childhood To Adulthood

3. Move Out

If you’re of age, move out and learn how to be independent from an early age. You might also google “emancipated minor” in your state (i.e. legally considered an adult and no longer under the auspices or authority of your parents).

4. Get A Job

Asian parents love to control, manipulate, or guilt-trip you with their money. (e.g. “I paid for your phone, car, education, etc.). Try to nip this in the bud as early as possible. Learn to be financially self-sufficient. Work at McDonald’s.

5. You’re American

Tell them you live in America and are an American. (Sorry, I’m not sure how well this works outside the U.S. and Canada.) Tell them you don’t consider yourself Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, etc. Bear in mind that renouncing your heritage may invoke the fury of not only your parents but all your dead ancestors as well.

6. Be A Painter, Poet, Or Artist

Despite the barrage of criticism you’ll get, sharing this occupational epiphany with them early on will pay huge dividends in the long run. Due to their obsessiveness and fixation over your grades, education, and future job prospects, telling them upfront you want out of the corporate rat-race will likely generate generations of ancestral backlash. But if you can withstand the backlash and eventually decide to go into a more “financially-stable” field, they will be frothing at the mouth with delight. If you do go the creative route, well at least you’ve paved the way for your brothers and sisters to endure fewer emotional beat-downs.

7. Say No To Life360 And Other Location-Based Apps

This will be hard if you’re a minor but if you’re of age, stop the codependency and tell your parents you don’t need them knowing your whereabouts.

8. Stay Off Of Social Media

On a similar note, you should consider staying off social media or remember they will be trolling you. At the very least, be discrete in your posts.

Related: 6 Common Ways Parents Confuse Kids By Their Hypocritical Behavior

9. Give Them A Hug

This may seem counterintuitive but a tactic to “declaw” your tiger parents is to keep them confused. What’s more confusing than giving them a hug after they’ve called you lazy, stupid, or worthless?

Hugs That Last Over Twenty Seconds Release Oxytocin

10. “I Love You”

This is in line with the earlier thought process of keeping them off-guard and perplexed. Bonus points if you can do this in their native tongue.

What other tricks do you have?


Written by: Sam Louie
Originally appeared on: Samlouiemft.com
Republished with permission.

declaw your tiger parents pinop
declaw your tiger parents pin

Published On:

Last updated on:

Sam Louie

Sam Louie is a psychotherapist and relationship coach in Seattle and Bellevue. He holds a Master’s of Arts degree in Clinical Psychology with an emphasis in marriage and family psychotherapy.

Leave a Comment

    Leave a Comment