Declawing Asian Tiger Parents: 10 Easy Steps To Keep Them At Bay

declawing asian tiger parents

There are some Asian parents and families who have the need to protect traditional honor. They’re commonly referred to as “Tiger Parents“. In this process, Asian tiger parents may be strict, intrusive or unsupportive without realizing the consequences it can have on their children. If you have a parent who behaves the same way, here’s all the things you need to know.

Tiger parenting is a kind of harsh parenting style in which parents are extremely involved in their children ’s learning and development. Tiger parents, in particular, encourage their children to excel academically or in high-status extracurricular activities such as music or athletics.

** This post is strictly satirical in nature. Nothing in this post should be misconstrued as therapeutic advice in any way, shape, or from in your interactions with Asian parents or parental figures.

This stereotypical style of strict parenting became notoriously or pejoratively known as “tiger parenting” from Amy Chua’s best-selling book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. In it, she describes how her parenting style, learned from her childhood experiences with her own parents, fostered what she considered a “better” way to raise children compared to Western or American standards.

It was controversial because much of what she advocated to help her children “succeed” could be considered beyond strict, bordering on emotional and verbal abuse. For example, she recounts calling one of her daughters “garbage” with her native Chinese dialect.

In many ways, the book perpetuates and validates this style of traditional Asian parenting, in which a child’s self-esteem and emotions do not warrant attention. Asian clients and Asian message boards abound with stories of this style of parenting.

As a counterpoint to those suffering from tiger parents, here are 10 steps to help keep the pain away.

1. Buy Earplugs

You might not know, understand, or acknowledge that the insults, put-downs, and name-calling can be considered abusive but you do know you don’t like it. It’s time to tune them out. If the earplugs seem disrespectful, you can consider the next suggestion.

2. Agree With Them

Obviously this is just a means of appeasing them by appearing to agree with them by saying yes or nodding your head. It’ll help create some emotional distance from them so long as you know you’re doing this on your own accord.

Related: Narcissistic Fathers: The Dark Shadow They Cast From Childhood To Adulthood

3. Move Out

If you’re of age, move out and learn how to be independent from an early age. You might also google “emancipated minor” in your state (i.e. legally considered an adult and no longer under the auspices or authority of your parents).

4. Get A Job

Asian parents love to control, manipulate, or guilt-trip you with their money. (e.g. “I paid for your phone, car, education, etc.). Try to nip this in the bud as early as possible. Learn to be financially self-sufficient. Work at McDonald’s.

5. You’re American

Tell them you live in America and are an American. (Sorry, I’m not sure how well this works outside the U.S. and Canada.) Tell them you don’t consider yourself Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, etc. Bear in mind that renouncing your heritage may invoke the fury of not only your parents but all your dead ancestors as well.

6. Be A Painter, Poet, Or Artist

Despite the barrage of criticism you’ll get, sharing this occupational epiphany with them early on will pay huge dividends in the long run. Due to their obsessiveness and fixation over your grades, education, and future job prospects, telling them upfront you want out of the corporate rat-race will likely generate generations of ancestral backlash. But if you can withstand the backlash and eventually decide to go into a more “financially-stable” field, they will be frothing at the mouth with delight. If you do go the creative route, well at least you’ve paved the way for your brothers and sisters to endure fewer emotional beat-downs.

7. Say No To Life360 And Other Location-Based Apps

This will be hard if you’re a minor but if you’re of age, stop the codependency and tell your parents you don’t need them knowing your whereabouts.

8. Stay Off Of Social Media

On a similar note, you should consider staying off social media or remember they will be trolling you. At the very least, be discrete in your posts.

Related: 6 Common Ways Parents Confuse Kids By Their Hypocritical Behavior

9. Give Them A Hug

This may seem counterintuitive but a tactic to “declaw” your tiger parents is to keep them confused. What’s more confusing than giving them a hug after they’ve called you lazy, stupid, or worthless?

Hugs That Last Over Twenty Seconds Release Oxytocin

10. “I Love You”

This is in line with the earlier thought process of keeping them off-guard and perplexed. Bonus points if you can do this in their native tongue.

What other tricks do you have?


Written by: Sam Louie
Originally appeared on: Samlouiemft.com
Republished with permission.

declaw your tiger parents pinop
declaw your tiger parents pin
declawing asian tiger parents pin

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

How To Become A Better Father And Create Lasting Memories With Your Kids

How To Become A Better Father: Tips and Tricks

Wondering how to become a better father? It’s a question that has echoed through the ages, as fathers play a vital role in shaping the lives of their children. 

The journey of fatherhood is a unique and rewarding experience that requires patience, love, and a deep commitment to personal growth. Let us explore the essence of a good father and provide actionable tips on being a good father. 

Whether you are a new dad or have been on this journey for a while, this guide will serve as a compass to help you navigate the challenges and joys of fatherhood.

Who is a Good Father?



Up Next

When Your Grown Child Hurts Your Feelings: 9 Healing Strategies Every Parent Needs To Know

What To Do When Your Grown Child Hurts Your Feelings: Tips

As parents, we invest our hearts and souls into raising our children, nurturing them with love, support, and guidance. However, as they grow into mature adults and carve their own paths, the dynamics of our relationship inevitably change. When your grown child hurts your feelings, whether intentionally or unintentionally, it can often be difficult to cope with.

This can leave us feeling confused, saddened, and unsure about how to navigate these emotional challenges. So today let us take a look at what to do when your grown child hurts your feelings so that you can heal yourself and your relationships.

How It Feels When Your Grown Child Hurts Your Feelings

Imagine this: You’ve poured your he



Up Next

7 Ways To Heal From An Emotionally Unstable Mom

Emotionally Unstable Mom: Things That Can Help You Heal

Is you mother emotionally unstable? If you have an emotionally unstable mom, dealing with the effects of it can be challenging to say the least; it often leaves you with traumatic memories and complex emotions. However, you need to find ways to heal for your own emotional and mental well-being.

Explore 7 strategies that can greatly help you cope with an emotionally unstable mom.

Related: Raised By A Borderline Mother: Signs, Types, Effects, And How To Deal



Up Next

Bad Husband But Good Father? 8 Tips On How To Be A Better Dad And Husband 

Practical Tips on How to Be a Better Dad and Husband

Being married to a man who is a bad husband but a good father is a complex and challenging experience. It’s a situation where the joys and struggles of parenting coexist with the frustrations and disappointments of a strained marital relationship. So how to be a better dad and husband?

Today, we will try to gain a better understanding of the psyche of a bad husband but a good father and shed light on how you can encourage them to be both a better husband and father. Let’s dive in.

Who Exactly is a Bad Husband and Good Father?

A bad husband can be someone who falls short in their role as a partner. T



Up Next

The Emotionally Absent Mother: Overcoming Her Legacy And Healing From The Wounds

The Emotionally Absent Mother: Healing From The Wounds

Having an emotionally absent mother can take a heavy toll on your mental and emotional well-being, and that too from a very young age. This article is going to explore what it means to have an emotionally unavailable mother, how her emotional absence can affect you and how to heal from it and move on.

Growing up with a mother who wasn’t emotionally available may have complicated your relationship with your emotions. Our early experiences of emotional attunement play an important part in the subsequent regulation of our emotions.

An emotionally absent mother may fail to develop the kind of satisfying attachment bonds in her children that make sustaining ordinary relationships possible.



Up Next

Only Child Syndrome: A Closer Look At The World Of An Only Child

Only Child Syndrome: Exploring An Only Child's World

What is the only child syndrome and how does an only child feel growing up without siblings? This article is going to talk about how it feels being an only child, and what it entails. So, let’s get started, shall we?

There is a stereotype that only children, children without siblings, fail to develop the ordinary social bonds and attachments that children with siblings do. The reality is more nuanced.

It does not follow that children with siblings are automatically more adaptable, more able to share, more able to understand group dynamics, but it is the case that only children didn’t grow up having to deal with



Up Next

Child Parentification: The Cause, Signs, and Recovery

Clear Signs Of Child Parentification In Adults

Ever felt like you were the parent instead of the child? That might be child parentification. Let’s explore its causes, signs, and how to recover together.

The term child parentification was coined in 1967 by family systems theorist Salvador Minuchin, who said the phenomenon occurred when parents de facto delegated parenting roles to children.

It can happen when one parent is physically absent or when a dysfunctional family is under stress because a parent cannot perform their parental responsibilities.

Usually, this is due to a phy