So, if you are tempted to reach out to your person for any reason other than a true reconciliation, don’t. It will only bring up all the pain again and prevent you from moving on.
3. Take responsibility.
What many of us do when we are in pain is we look to blame someone else. Especially if we know we are wrong, human beings have a hard time taking a good hard look at themselves and truly accept responsibility for the break down of the relationship.
Now I am not saying that you need to take all of the responsibility for the break down of the relationship but I would encourage you to take stock and see where you might have contributed to what happened.
Did you perhaps put her second some of the time? Were you short-tempered with her when she interrupted a game? Did you consistently ignore what she asked you to do? What were you not so good at that might have led to the end of it all?
It is important to take stock of your role in a break up so that you can learn from it and not do it again. Instead of bringing unhealthy behaviors into a new relationship, make an effort to identify yours, and set out to bring about change.
If you don’t, you will be destined to repeat the same mistakes over and over and ultimately end up alone and unhappy.
Want to know more about the mistakes you should avoid after going through a breakup? Read 5 Mistakes that People Make After A Breakup
4. Open up.
This might be the hardest thing for guys going through a breakup to do. What I am going to ask you to do next is to find someone to talk to and be open and honest with them.
Men have, through the ages, have been taught to keep their feelings inside, that sharing their emotions might make them seem weak. As a result, men have a tendency to keep bottled up, where they never see the light of day and where they can tend to fester and rot.
When we are struggling with breakups, it’s important that we find one person we can process what we are going through, one person who can listen to us and share perspectives and help us see what went wrong and what you can do differently going forward.
If you have a friend who can play that role, use him or her. If not, find a life coach (like me!) who can help you process what you are feeling and move on!
5. Take your time.
As I stated above, jumping from one relationship to another is a recipe for disaster. And, if you start to have sex with random women it could get even worse.
If you hop into another relationship without processing and getting over your past relationship you will simply bring all of your issues with you into your new one, dooming it for failure. Not only will you cause more pain for yourself but you will also cause pain to another person, perhaps pain like you are feeling right now.
If you decide to hop into bed with lots of random people you will only be using those women as a Band-aid for your broken heart. In reality, you will emerge from those trysts feeling empty and worse about yourself. And, once again, you will be causing other people pain.
Want to know more about how you can handle the negative emotions you feel after going through a breakup? Read How To Manage Feeling Depressed After A Breakup
As much as the instinct is there to either sleep with someone or get into another relationship, I would encourage you to pause and do some of the things listed above. I know you are feeling sad and lonely and eager to pair up again but know that, if you do it too quickly, you will be doomed to repeat the same mistakes and ultimately be left alone.